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Paris Hilton Banned From Oktoberfest for “Cheapening” Two Week-Long Kegger

by Michael Swaim

paris The board of directors of the Munich Oktoberfest have decided to ban everyone’s favorite lazy-eyed mogul from attending this year, because apparently during her visit last year she “displayed behavior unbefitting a drunk, selfish, promiscuous, functionally retarded socialite.” Okay, that may not be a direct translation, but German’s a tricky language.

The point is, what do you have to do to get kicked out of a beer festival? That’s like the asshole at a frat party who just finished his eleventh game of beer pong, hurled all over a girl, then proceeded to make out with her, is asking you to leave because you’re bothering everyone

So what did Paris do? Did she strip naked and befoul all the bratwurst? Did she make an unflattering comment about this year’s Miss Beer Gut? Did she read this poem about her aloud? No. She dressed up in lederhosen and tried to shill her own brand of canned wine. At a beer festival. In Germany. Celebrating fine beers. Paris Hilton brand canned wine.

I know they’ve got a shady record, but honestly, haven’t the Germans suffered enough?

6 Responses to “Paris Hilton Banned From Oktoberfest for “Cheapening” Two Week-Long Kegger”

  1. FollicleMan Says:

    I dunno. Paris invading Germany? Seems like a pretty fitting comeuppance.

  2. Ross Says:

    Very fitting, after all, Germany invaded Paris in 1940.

    Hmm….Paris Hilton in Germany…Germany invading Paris…

    Soo…much…smutty….joke….material….can’t….COMPUTE!

  3. Paris Hilton Sex Tape Video 2 - Paris Hilton Exposed *HOT* Says:

    1 night in Paris Hilton exposed cool…

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  4. ROSS VAUGHN Says:

    Gee, isn’t it amazing that the counrty that killed 50,000 Jews and brought us celebrities like Adolph Hitler would think that Paris Hilton is unfit for Oktoberfest? YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING!!!

  5. Gladstone Says:

    50,000?

    Six Million.

  6. Jeneviefe Says:

    Elle lis,cette est un milacle

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