Penises in the News (And the Headlines Don’t Involve Paris Hilton)
Two big news stories were reported today involving mankind’s favorite appendage: The penis.
Woman Sets Fire to Ex-Husband’s Penis, blared one headline. And seriously, what could be worse than that?
I’ll tell you what: British dwarf’s penis gets stuck to hoover.
To quote that second article:
A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.
Frankly, I think “horribly” is redundant and unnecessary in that sentence. Is there any kind of “awry” that an act can go involving a penis stuck to a vacuum cleaner that comes up anything short of “horrible?” Answer: NO.
Unfortunately, as our friends at Fark might say, these two headlines do put the Painful Penis News Trifecta in play. I, for one, am putting on a cup.
May 3rd, 2008 at 1:01 pm
It almost seems sadistic to post “First!”.
Almost.
May 12th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Maybe if he had some gum on his penis, and the gum stuck to the vacuum cleaner? I mean, it wouldn’t be HORRIBLE.