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2 New Shirts That Promise Love and Long Life

We all want to find that special someone with whom we can sit on the deck and watch the stars. And if those stars happen to be careening past at the speed of light while we outrun a closing Borg ship bent on our assimilation, then it's nice to at least have a hand to hold. Once you've found that, found love in a best friend, somehow becoming forcibly linked by a mindless hive species doesn't seem that bad anymore. Sometimes it takes boldly seeking out new life and new civilizations to find what was in your heart all along.

While we're occasionally accused of cynicism at Cracked, we love love, so we're offering this shirt just in time for Valentine's Day. If Captain Kirk was allowed to love ladies from other species, Picard should at the very least be allowed to marry his number one.

Our Second New Shirt of Endless Inspiration and Health

Has anyone ever told you there's only one true way to gain eternal life? Well tell them they're wrong, because there are in fact two:

We're putting this design from Tim Babb in green and blue, so whether you feel most comfortable with land-based or sea-based inspirational sunset macros, you've got a way to spread the good news that's been with us since way back in the 1980s A.D.

And speaking of important things like "A.D." that we think we understand but aren't necessarily 100 percent sure on the meaning of ...

LOVE: What Is It? Will It Hurt Me? Would a Storewide Sale Help Defeat It?

When we think of perfect partners, it can be hard to define it without going full-tilt OKCupid and categorizing it down to its every detail. So think big picture: Who truly belongs together out of all the characters in the greatest story ever told in the pre-Contra era?

Is love about crossing galaxies together? Maybe. Is love about complementing your partner's strengths/weaknesses/beeping? Maybe. Is love best when depicted in the historically male color of pink? These are all questions you and your special someone/somedroid can only answer for yourselves/yourunits. So while that pink DROIDS shirt is hilarious and Valentine-appropriate, we're putting ALL OF OUR SHIRTS ON SALE. That's right: 14 percent off with promo code LOVESTRUCK from now until February 15 on whatever charges you up.

We're Also Still Looking for Great Art, Revisited, in a Minimalist Fashion

So whenever you get done bot-smooching or whatever, cruise over to our forums and take our money. Our ongoing design contest is all about great pop culture images boiled down to their most elegant lines. You've got until Tuesday, February 18 at 4:00 p.m. Pacific time to blow us away and win $500 and get mentioned in a future edition of this very post.

Our Weekly Dose of Shirt Envy

There are two ways to look better in a T-shirt: whatever glorified heavy lifting Olympians get up to, and owning the best-designed tee ever. We try to give you as many options as we can, which means not only stocking fresh ideas in our store, but giving you this heads-up each week on the shirts we wish we'd thought of:

5)


Available at The Yetee

4)


Available at Design by Humans

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Available at Shirt. Woot!

2)


Available at Glennz Tees

1)


Available at Threadless

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