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"The Man": he can go f&%k himself, right? There might be nothing the entire planet enjoys more in a story than the authorities getting their asses handed to them by some daring outlaws who aren't afraid to get their hands dirty (which is a handy skill when you're handling asses). This week's newest Cracked Dispensary designs are available on just about anything Society6 carries, and should fit in perfectly with your "rugged badass who also appreciates a nice duvet cover" lifestyle.

Admit it: you've spiced up many a plain, cheap, instant meal with the king of still-made-in-California sauces. Sriracha has as much identity as any district, nation, or mockingjay, and if you're the type who'd volunteer as tribute just to keep it in your culinary world, this design by Starline Hodge is just the thing for you. Wear the pride of Panem with the style of someone who likes a good pho, in any of several shirt colors thanks to our friends at Society6 (but come on, what conceivable reason would there be to not get this in fire engine red?).

Black-and-white has been the color scheme of everyone from pirates to punk rock for centuries. So how would it not make its way into the future, where outlaws who have no reason to fear death need just as much style as we do today? This design by Redbubble regular Tiranocyrus gives Groot-the-bandit the tribute he deserves. And it asks a very important question: is "I am Groot" the talking-like-a-pirate of the future? Or is it just why we like that goofy talking tree so much?

Let The Latest Design-Our-Next-Shirt Contest Begin!

And here's how to put the odds much, much more in your favor:

1) Read this forum thread's instructions.

2) Make a note in whatever you use to keep track of dates that you have only until Friday, Jan. 2, 2015, at 4:00 p.m. PT, to win money and eternal fame.

3) Properly upload an image of your concept to that forum thread. (Don't worry about 100 percent total aesthetic perfection ... if the joke's there, and the joke's awesome, we'll bring a designer in to help smooth out the rough edges.)

4) Sit back and wait for us to give you our money ($500 of it, even if we help you with the design), eternal fame (in this space), and a world where your idea's printed on everything in creation (thanks to Society6).

So get cracking! Because our new contest theme is our most fun yet: Lisa Frank-ing History and Film. Bring the magenta cacophony of the fuschia-iest mind in art history to anything that's ever happened and/or been put to celluloid. Just be sure to submit that idea before the deadline, in the right thread, formatted and labeled properly (because we might not recognize that the guy you put on unicorn-back is in fact 28th Vice President Thomas R. Marshall without a little help).

Our Weekly Dose of Shirt Envy

Well all right, you little rebel. You read this whole thing and thought, "There just have to be more T-shirts out there." Don't go running off to a District 13-like rabbit hole of underground shirt sellers. We made that terrible trip for you, scoured the Internet, and assembled our five favorite new designs right here. Buy yourself something nice. You'll need it for the next Capitol party (especially if everybody's doing that gross vomitorium-style banquet thing).


Available at Naolito


Available at BustedTees


Available at Society6


Available at Threadless


Available at BustedTees

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