Cracked Columnists

2 New Shirts for 'Game of Thrones' and 'Star Wars' Fans

You guys: We finally have a house sigil. Game of Thrones is back, after all, and we couldn't let ourselves ride around Croatia spouting exposition without having one. The thing is, a boring regular Great House picks a simple animal sigil and calls it quitsies. But we're Cracked.com, and this is the Internet. How many tabs do you have open right now? If you're anything like us, you're looking at this and science news and movie rumors and a new web series and a tour of GoT's Croatia all at once. So when we sat down in front of our sigil-drawing board while listening to a podcast and speed metal and a Blade Runner commentary track at the same time, we came up with this coat of arms:

We contain multitudes, and so does this design from Andy Hunt. Whether you're here for our unquenchable love of Ghostbusters, our photographs proving that war is both the awful and the nutty kind of insane, or the unforgettable legend of Popsicle Pete, we get that, and we support your right to party with us on the Internet.

Have you ever noticed that every movie you've ever seen is sort of like one combined movie in your memories? A Tommy Westphall universe of the lightsabers, Batmobiles, and Pizza Hut product placements you've experienced and loved? Either way, there's nothing more charming than a warmhearted friendship that totally ought to exist. And who wouldn't get along better than these two breathing apparatus-dependent badasses? This design, from Cracked's lead layout and design expert Randall Maynard, turns villains into best friends and you into someone with pop culture's illest friendship-that-could-be on your torso.

Design Manliness Itself and We'll Pay You for It

Now that everything we nerd out about is in one place, we need everything that puts hair on a chest there, too. Our latest forum contest is seeking T-shirt designs that are So Badass It Hurts. Hulk Hogan on a tank jet, a gorilla and shark sharing a high-fivesplosion, anything that's just so powerful that we have to print it with pure testosterone. If you come up with a winner that makes us feel 10 percent more muscular just from scrolling to it, we'll give you $500 and feature you in this space, a specimen of epic thought-pictures for all to see.

Shop Like It's the End of the World (and the End of Our Tesla Shirt)

If there's one thing young adult fiction and RoboCop remakes prove, it's that America loves the idea of Future Ruined America. We've splashed it across many of our tees, and this week we're offering them to you at "Going Out of Business Functioning Economy" prices:

You can only jump on that offer this week, so be sure to get one before the zombies, replicants, precogs, or anarchist redshirts end life as we know it in the most movie franchise-building way possible.

And if you've kept up with us, you know that Tesla shirt became our all-time best-seller ... till we ran out of them. We printed another batch a few weeks back, and now it looks like history is repeating itself. We are almost out, so grab one before they go the way of Nik's mysteriously burned laboratory that Edison totally burned down.

Our Weekly Dose of Envy

The online T-shirt game is in a golden era. Want proof? Think about how lame T-shirts were as recently as 100 years ago. We know because we scour the Internet every week to find the newest, raddest designs. And once we're sure we didn't accidentally parallel think of anyone's idea, we make our own, then share other's people's best new shirts with you right here.

5)


Available at Shirt.Woot

4)


Available at Society6

3)


Available at Threadless

2)


Available at Shirtoid

1)


Available at TShirtLaundry

Recommended For Your Pleasure

Alex Schmidt

  • Rss

I

More by Alex Schmidt:

See More
To turn on reply notifications, click here

35 Comments

The Cracked Podcast

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!