Back in 2008, I changed your life by listing off 25 of the most disturbing sex toys I could find on the Internet. A year later, I gave you 18 more, because I'm a giver, and because I desperately hoped someone would just hold me and tell me I could stop. And now it's been three solid years with nary a single disturbing sex toy to be seen. But they were being made. In ramshackle garages and run-down sweatshops and Cracked columnist basements, they were being made. And here they are. If you like, we can go buy some and try them out together, but I'm not promising either of us will enjoy it.
I'm no amateur at this, I know that some people are into having their goodies ground into paste, I'm hip. But this thing literally looks exactly like the nutcracker my parents had when I was a kid, except in surgical steel and with less heart.
If you're not sure how this thing works just by looking at it, you could go to the site and see a demonstration, but will that really make you feel better? How could it be used in any way that isn't awful?
Fun Website Quote: Unscrew the bottom ring on the flask using the included Allen wrenches, and insert testicles.
14Aroma Hot Pants
Last time I did one of these, I included a pair of pants meant to recycle your own urine into a fun party game for your butt. This may seem like it's a step down from that thanks to our little mosaic meant to preserve a portion of your sanity, but I would beg to differ. This here is a medical-style mask, a hose, and the fact that this exists solely for the purpose of someone taking a long pull off of your goodie zone gases like the dentist from Little Shop of Horrors, but in an erotic fashion ... it's almost too surreal.
Fun Website Quote: They can be fitted to our corrugated rubber tubes, masks and re-breather kits.