... because it's from Ikea, and the Swedish are a famously blowjobby people.
... because it just does. Leave me alone, I'm about to cum.
... I mean, you're doing fine, desk. Promise.
... Seriously, good effort.
... Don't worry about it, desk, I'm just tired. It feels good, I'm just ... tired.
... because it's just a desk.
... because this balloon shall be my baby until my true baby is born. Sure, I may be crazy, but at least I'm crazy.
... because I'm sensitive about my weight and I just saw the movie Up.
... because this way I can practice for the baby coming by taking care of the balloon! I just wanna be a good mom!
... because this way I can practice for the baby coming by popping a balloon! I wanna pop my baby!
... because once the watermelon is cut into normal-sized pieces, they will actually bite the watermelon. They're just practicing right now, before it's cut, because what if they mess up and everyone sees? Won't that be embarrassing?
... because this is no way to eat a watermelon, and that fact really amuses them. They're just a bunch of jokesters, jokin' around.
... because women and children can do what they want, I guess, but adult men don't mess around when eating watermelon. They cut that shit into smaller pieces and straight up bite into it, yo.
... because you'll see. You'll all see.
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