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14 Bizarre Scenarios That Are Way Too Common in Stock Photos

#7. This Desk Gives the Absolute Best Blowjobs ...

... because it's from Ikea, and the Swedish are a famously blowjobby people.

... because it just does. Leave me alone, I'm about to cum.

#6. This Desk Is Mediocre at Cunnilingus ...

... I mean, you're doing fine, desk. Promise.

... Seriously, good effort.

... Don't worry about it, desk, I'm just tired. It feels good, I'm just ... tired.

... because it's just a desk.

#5. Pregnant Women Keep Themselves Busy With One or More Balloons ...

... because this balloon shall be my baby until my true baby is born. Sure, I may be crazy, but at least I'm crazy.

... because I'm sensitive about my weight and I just saw the movie Up.

... because this way I can practice for the baby coming by taking care of the balloon! I just wanna be a good mom!

... because this way I can practice for the baby coming by popping a balloon! I wanna pop my baby!

#4. Women and Children Love Not Quite Biting into Uncomfortably Large Pieces of Watermelon ...

... because once the watermelon is cut into normal-sized pieces, they will actually bite the watermelon. They're just practicing right now, before it's cut, because what if they mess up and everyone sees? Won't that be embarrassing?

... because this is no way to eat a watermelon, and that fact really amuses them. They're just a bunch of jokesters, jokin' around.

... because women and children can do what they want, I guess, but adult men don't mess around when eating watermelon. They cut that shit into smaller pieces and straight up bite into it, yo.

#3. One Way or Another, I Will Fuck This Computer ...

... because you'll see. You'll all see.

#2. One Way or Another, I Will Fuck This Human ...

... 01100010011001010110001101100001011101010111001101100101 011110010110111101110101001001110110110001101100 011100110110010101100101. 010110010110111101110101001001110110110001101100 010000010100110001001100 011100110110010101100101.

#1. This Other Thing Also Involving Watermelons ...

... because.




Find Cody Johnston on social networking sites like Twitter and Tumblr by Googling for it, or by clicking on the words "Twitter" and "Tumblr" earlier in this sentence.

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