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11 Fall TV Show Reviews Based Solely On Promotional Photos

Return of the Haunted Face

It's weird to me that they chose to make an entire TV series based on one of those Tales To Tell 'Round Midnight. Ignoring the fact that they should make a The Haunted Face show before they even think about making a Return of the Haunted Face, the pacing of the pilot was off. They did the ENTIRE plot of Return of the Haunted Face in the first episode. I mean, where do you go from there? They only have up to Return of the Haunted Face 5. Then just The Haunted Face's Return, The Haunting of the Haunted Face's Return saga, Facing the Haunted Faces: The Return, Returning the Haunted Face and Return to the Haunted Face. At this rate, they'll be done with the whole Haunted Face universe in half a season. And correct me if I'm wrong, but this is the last page of the entire Haunted Face series:

"The Three Evil Cooks smiled and sharpened their knives. After all, it was time to cook and eat the girl and her Haunted Face."

"But before any cooking could be cooked, The Universe ceased to be. No one would ever know why or how or that it even happened, because like as has already been stated, The Universe was over."

Word is they got approval from the original author B.N. Meschnerwit, so I guess that's a good sign. Maybe he has a plan for a post-Universe story. Could be good, could be bad, I don't know. Either way, the make-up on the Haunted Face girl is impressive and terrifying.

Is This How You Remove a Shirt?

From the minds behind Mark Whalberg's name comes a sitcom about two guys who are incredibly different when it comes to how they put on and remove clothes, but the same when it comes to anything else. They are the best of friends during the day and the worst of enemies for brief periods in the morning and night. For example, when the two are getting ready for bed, Antonio asks "Is this how you remove a shirt?" as he tries to take off his shirt through his sleeve. "NO!" Brad shouts, angrier than he's ever been, "This is how you put on a tie!" Of course, then Antonio points out that he never mentioned a tie, and Brad stresses the importance of "Yeah, but still. Ties." Soon they are both in their jammies, the fight is over, and they can go back to being best friends who are married.

Settle Down, Santa!

After centuries of partying hard and sleeping around, the world-famous Santa Clause finally decides to get his act together and grow up. He moves to a small town in Wisconsin with his wife, his three daughters, and an old man who needed a place to stay. A lot of the humor comes from Santa's desire to fix up his home, coupled with his inability to do so correctly. In the pilot, his unnamed wife rolls her eyes so many times that they get stuck like that by the end. That's the main moral in the first episode, but there are like five total morals and they're all pretty good. My least favorite moral was probably about how unsavory and untrustworthy old people can be. It made sense in the context of the episode, because the old man that Santa barely knows is pretty unsavory, but in general I don't agree with the message. I know a few old people, and only two of them are unsavory. My favorite moral was the one about the eye-rolling.

Don't Look Back

Don't Look Back is one of the funniest parodies of mystery-based envirofantasy adventure dramas to come out this year. It's not quite as good as Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer's Weird Place, and it doesn't hold a candle to the Wayans Brothers' Strange Place Area, but it's still pretty good. It's about a bunch of spacewrecked future families from the past who survive a cosmic event that removes their ability to turn around. The humor mostly comes from the situations and sight gags, like when the Fart Monster attacks the group but they can't turn around.

Rumor has it that this is the most expensive comedy pilot to ever air on PBS. You can tell within the first five minutes, because the effects are off the hook and maybe even off the chain I don't want to call it until I watch it again. There's this one part, and this won't give too much away, but but there's this one part where the Fart Monster stops time and the only way to start it up again is to light the Fart Monster on fire. Even though the future families from the past can't look back, they pull it off and I was right it was totally off the hook and chain.

Then the Fart Monster made a hilarious face. If I had one complaint about the show it would be that there are too many characters to keep track of and the "they can't turn around" gimmick wears thin pretty early on. I mean it's still hilarious, sure, and the Fart Monster never gets old, but every five minutes I found myself yelling at the screen "TURN AROUND!" Seriously, practically every single problem can be solved by simply turning around. SPOILER ALERT:

That guy dies in the first episode and he absolutely wouldn't have if he just turned around. I hope the minds behind Don't Look Back don't fall into this trap on a regular basis, because the show definitely has potential. I just don't want to see it tread water for years just because none of the characters can turn around. But honestly, if the quality of jokes stays high and they never kill off the Fart Monster, I'll probably watch the series until the end.

2 Broke Girls

This is 2 Broke Girls and it's my favorite new show as well as my new favorite show. It was originally called Uncomfortable Audience, but they changed it after they made some tweaks to the soundtrack. I would go more in depth but it's too great to ruin. Just check out the entire episode embedded below!




Cody Johnston is a collection of thoughts and ideas. He can be found on the internet via Twitter, Tumblr, and I guess Facebook. He updates them rarely and with great contempt for each.

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