There’s no such thing as the perfect joke. For every five friends who borrow my Strangers with Candy or Mr. Show DVDs, one comes back with a bad review. Hell, I’ve dated two women who didn’t even like Ghostbusters. Ghostbusters. I don’t want to sound like a nerd, but I’ll learn how to masturbate in Klingon before I put my dick in something that can’t have fun watching Ghostbusters.
So I understood that when I got into this joke writing business that a few people were going to hate it, and a few of those people were going to tell me all about it. I normally write off this crushing emotional trauma as an occupational hazard, but last week I did an article on how people who play World of Warcraft suck at video games. As you can imagine, some of them took this personally. Well, I’m not ignoring it this time. I’ll be goddamned if I’m going to sit around and take crap from a bunch of orcs and wizards coming into my world and talking shit.
Strangely, all hate mail writers, even ones from Warcraft, fall perfectly into one of ten categories. And all ten of those hater types were well represented in the comments section of last week’s article. I’ve selected some of my favorites below.
Note: Legal battles have forced me to retire my Learning with Super Mario Brothers System, so we’ll be using the last-minute replacement of Pac-School, Educationating the Pac-Man Way.
Detective Hypocrisy, Douchebag P.D.
The thing about the stupid is that they think they’re just like you and me. As far as they know, they’re clever and observant. And when they think they smell hypocrisy, they are on the case!
POD Says:
For a guy bent on putting down wow players you sure do know a thing or two about the game. Beastmaster hunters and 25 man raids: Things that players would know. Are you a dick or an Idiot?
Yes, over the course of an article desribing my experiences playing World of Warcraft you spotted that I’ve played it. I hope the soft spot of your skull held up to all that brain throbbing, you first term abortion. If I’d known that was going to be mysterious to the audience reading it, I would have written a coloring book about bubble gum safety and saved the complicated jokes for your dad’s vaginoplasty. Like this one: Your father’s birth canal is such a twisting maze of harvested colon parts that it has its own minotaur boss. Tell you what, asshole, I’ll move out of my glass house when you can lift a figurative stone without giving yourself a literal hernia.
The Alien Visitor, Struggling to Understand Us
Not everyone gets why things are funny. Which is fine until they blame it on me. I seemed to be in the path of this Darcy person on the exact day he or she discovered what “humor” was.
Darcy Says:
Honestly … more insightful and entertaining criticism comes from people who actually like the game week by week. This article could have been one sentence long and made precisely the same point, it really just seems like an excuse to use creative similes for large groups of stupid people.
A one sentence article? I don’t think it’d be very responsible of me to write a comedy article that was one sentence long, star traveler. Those creative similes you mentioned are called “jokes” down here. They are one of the ways we Earth-monsters give pleasure to one another. The other is swapping genetic fluid, but I imagine anyone lucky enough to have sex with you gets to skip the unnecessary intercourse part and go straight to the weird smell in the air.
But now that you mention it, Darcy, I like your way of doing things. What it lacks in fun it makes up for inefficiency. Bruce Willis could have texted everyone “I M DEAD” and saved M. Night Shyamalan all the trouble of making that movie. Oh, and think of the printing costs Herman Melville could have saved if he’d just tweeted “my friend Ishmael won’t shut up about how much he hates some fucking whale. egg salad for lunch yum!”
The Secret Rival
The Secret Rival exists in the shadows. I never actually see him, but he is my worst enemy and my most faithful reader, popping up every now and then to reassure everyone I still ruin his life. With every article he continues to read, he hates me more and further hates the world that allows me to exist. More than anything, though, he hates the taste of his giant Me poster… but he must be ready for our first kiss.
Jimmy Donahue Says:
This was a very retarded article. It’s just not funny. You need to get some funny material or get the Hell outta Cracked.
It’s hard to really get invested in a verbal war with people like this. I mean this kid has been working his rage up for God knows how long, and I’ve only had a couple sentences to catch up. Plus, I can’t really tell a guy to suck my balls when he’s already lurking under my toilet in a wetsuit screaming at them while I shit on him.
The Insecure Autobiographer
Sometimes when you’re joking about something, it’ll be seen by someone championing that cause. They have to do more than insult you. They have to tell you their life story, and what led them to be such a passionate activist.
yeradick Says:
OK First and foremost whoever wrote this article is a whinny lil baby who prolly tried playing wow but had no real skill so decided to take his bitchin to a whole new lvl and write a 3 day long post on why he is such a noob.
Look closely. The first thing the Insecure Autobiographer often does is bait you into joining him. You see how he makes wild assumptions about me that can only be contradicted by telling him all about myself and/or my Warcraft character. It should really piss him off when I instead do this: You’re right, yeradick. WoW was too hard, so I sold my character to China and bought your wife a tube of asshole bleach. It says it’s strong enough to work on pigs.
secondly: Why would you sit there and bash wow players with such ridiculousness when most are hard working family ppl with good jobs and a nice car , who simply like to play a game that imo has become one of the biggest in history so far…?
I think he’s mostly talking to himself here. Too bad he sort of trailed off before he managed to convince himself it’s okay to play so much Warcraft. You do make a good point though, yeradick. The article would have been funnier if I’d mentioned your nice car. I had a section on your happy marriage too, but it seemed too ironic to type while I was fucking your wife’s sparkling alabaster asshole.
anyway i’m done, yer a douchbag and should prolly stop bein such a whinny little girl .
Trust me, I’d love to stop acting like a little whiny girl, but it’s the only way your wife can get off. I think it’s because deep down… she’s still in love with you.
The Busy Critic
Some people can’t fit reading every single comedy article into their schedule. However, they can squeeze in enough time to comment under the ones they were too busy to read, but probably would have hated.
Viddle Says:
Too long, not enough funny. Which is a shame, it -could- have been hilarious, as it stands all it does is seem to regurgitate the usual, ‘fat nerds, no social skills, life wasting, endless frustration yadda yadda’. Which, to be fair have been there since the first MMOs…so it’s probably some kind of indicator that nothings really changed. x)
I should have written instructions at the start of the article to warn you that the jokes work better if you read them all the way through. For example, if you don’t read how you’re a little bitch here at the start of this sentence, Viddle, then you’ll have no idea how one tiny monkey managed to rape you here at the end of it. To you, it’s some crazy, raping monkey leaping in out of nowhere without any context! You’d be like, “Aiiieee!!! Where is the joke in this horrible crime of nature!? And why does it feel so right!?”
This kind of hater is both paradoxical and totally relatable. I look at it like this: I think I hate Charlie Sheen’s Two and a Half Men, and I’ve never seen an episode. Without seeing it, I think I hate it so much that if I saw a DVD set of Two and a Half Men in your shopping cart, I’d hate you. I’d whisper to my friends that you were going to go home and spend an evening laughing at novelty coffee mugs with Charlie Sheen and your pedestrian sense of humor. I’d follow you out of the store. I’d leave bananas and monkey pornography at every entry point of your home. I would bring that rape monkey horror into your life and I would fucking destroy you. So don’t think I don’t understand you, Viddle. I wrestle the same beast every day.
The Girl Who Wants to Fuck Me
For some reason, when the rare female sends hate mail, she always squeezes in a reference to her sexual organs. Is she trying to bone me? I’m not pretending to understand women, but that’s the only reason I would bring mine up in a letter to a stranger, and only under the most desperate of circumstances. Take a look at one of these letters and see what you think:
Random wow player #2135135 Says:
As a wow player i’d just like to say, that the above was written in the perspective of someone who’s jealous that they can’t get in to a good raiding guild. This article reads as if you spent a day in Barrens around a bunch of mouthbreathers that bragged about soloing Malygos. But wtv. i’ll keep getting my phat loots while you’re still trying to pug Hogger on your lvl 1 gnome twink. Oh yeah, i also have tits. Did i just blow your mind?
I don’t care if you have tits, dude, I’m not your personal trainer. Sorry for thinking you were a girl at first, but seriously, why did you mention those tits in the middle of all that Warcraft nonsense? Write back soon because I could use a hand on this letter I’m working on:
“Dear Senator, your policies on animal rights are savage and inhumane. And before you write me off as some stupid chick, I have a penis. Here’s a photo of it fucking some butter. Give it a name, Senator. Call to it. I NEED YOU TO PUT ME INSIDE YOU.”
The Blind Shit Flinger
Some people hate the world, and your email address gets mixed up in their shitstorm for a minute. They tend to spray you with wild insults hoping to hit at least one nerve. If you happen to be small-penised, fat, bad with women and living in your parents’ basement, these people will seem like sorcerers. If you’re not any of those things, it just sounds like someone sent an email to the wrong person.
YourMumIsMyEpicMount Says:
Yeah fair enough and all but there are dicks,assholes,wankers, dickfaces and pervey wankshafts all over the internet and even in your fucking neighbourhood, I’m gonna go ahead and guess you are the neighbourhood fguy who is never seen leaving his house and on a rare occasion attends some sort of event, Your more than likely seen being carried in on a fucking truck.
OK, angry foreigner, if we’re going to be imagining each other as things, you’re the candy striper who has to wash me before I’m loaded into trucks. While you hungrily change my gigantic diaper, one of your probing sponge strokes finds the skeleton of a cat in one of the meat pockets between my armpit and seventh love handle. It was your cat, missing for weeks. In that moment you realize you never gave yourself a chance to cry. You sob like what your people call a poof, and I take a bite out of your stupid fag arm. The doctors can’t save you because surprise: You were a fucking pussy the whole time.
funny stuff tho ill give you that and yeah more than enough of everything you said there is true. Love the fact that you like to describe everything and everyone who plays it as idiots and dicks which is more than partly true but then again if you sit in your house using mario bros to explain things you must be some kind of retarded or have no time on your hands.
Im assuming you must have played the game to give such a detailed account of it, If you did then that makes you a dick or a idiot (or mabye a combination of both?), if not, then why did you write about how much it annoys you? its not like your the only person who noticed the millions of twats who run around.
But yeah i applaud your work made me laugh fairly hard, And yes i am a dick, But i can admit it and i see no problem with being a dick to other dicks.
You call that being a dick? Half your insults were against people so abstract they probably don’t even exist. If you want to be a real dick, you have to be specific. And while you jumped back and forth between telling me how funny I am imagining me to be morbidly obese and retarded, I was carefully compiling facts:
One, you type like someone who spent most of school in a toilet.
Two, your words have the tiny, impotent sting of someone whose asshole is considered a workout machine at the local gym.
Three, things don’t seem to be going any better for you in the World of Warcraft.
The Angsty Unfunner
This is the most common of haters, and what most people picture when they picture hate mail. The Angsty Unfunner has spent too much time interacting on the Internet and has learned that thinking anything is funny is a sign of weakness. What makes him special, though, is that he tries to be funny himself. Let’s take a look at this note from, sigh, PuddleofAids:
PuddleOfAids Says:
Uck…..that was tenfold cunty factor. You should publish “Learning with Super Mario - Shoving Your Dick Into a Meat Grinder”. It would probably be much more entertaining and intuitive than that article. I officially stamp it: EPIC FAIL! Sorry der Chet, better luck next time.
Being funny is harder than it looks, isn’t it, AIDS? Here’s a fun fact: When amateur funnymen in Internet forums try to describe something they don’t like with a comical analogy, there’s a 63 percent chance that they’re goint to put a penis into some whirling blades. I think it’s because we all grew up with such bad similes in our music that our analogy centers got stifled. With lyrics like cuts like a knife, burns like fire, hungry like the wolf… we’re lucky our brains can even relate two disparate concepts together.
Over the years, I’ve received hundreds if not thousands of emails like this, both kind and fussy, who think the secret of comedy is ground dick and MADLibs. I actually have a folder called “Cheese Weasel” that searches for emails that contain the words “cheese” or “weasel” and keeps them safely away from important ones. Those words literally appear in every stream-of-consciousness sentence that “hilarious” people have ever typed at me. You probably won’t be able to use this knowledge until you start your life as an Internet writer; I’m simply letting you know that people like PuddleOfAids are miserable black holes of joy even when they’re in good moods.
The Amateur Communicator
When you spend too much time away from the real world, your communication skills start to suffer. It’s one of the top six reasons that when astronauts try to talk, howling black worms spin out of their mouths. The Amateur Communicator isn’t usually in a situation where they have to make sense, so they don’t. Please note that The Amateur Communicator might be a modified form of any of the other nine types of haters. In this case, you’ll see we’re dealing with a deranged form of The Insecure Autobiographer.
nolootsforthatkid Says:
heh, probably the worst piece of shit i have ever read when it comes to describing a gaming community. Written by someone who was never a part of a high quality end game raiding guild. I on the other hand am in one. We raid about 2 times a week clear everything in that one night, and that’s about all i touch the game besides alts. Basically everything that is written above is about the equivalent of me busting out an article on making building a real working time machine after watching back to the future and jerking off to Einstein’s photo… terrible
We all come from fps’ games as well you know real ones not like halo rofl.
Great Halo joke. Your insane note had me worried that you’d lost touch with English and reality, but I’m glad you’ve lowered your video game intake to just beating the entire World of Warcraft twice a week, except for when you play on your other World of Warcraft characters! Pretty soon you’ll have as much free time as a convicted murderer.
Now that you’re back from Warcraft, I have so many questions about your journeys!
Did your body still digest food like ours, or did waste squeeze out of your pores every time you gained a level?
Did search and rescue dogs near your smell often think they’d found a dead body?
When your genitals receded to accommodate larger Big Gulps, how much horsepower did it take to yank them back to normal?
And finally, what kind of beard lice do nesting birds like best?
The Dick Mentor
When someone is disrespecting you over the Internet, they often hire themselves as your life coach. However, I always recommend caution when following the advice of the profoundly stupid.
gimpmonster Says:
Come on seanbaby…sometimes your articles lick choad. This was one of those times. What’s next? Explaining intercourse using the Sims. GO get some poon
What kind of trolls are you sleeping with that you can get poon and work on your Warcraft material at the same time? Trying to juggle Warcraft jokes and women would wear me thinner than a tampon machine in a Blood Elf sorority. I’d have an easier time getting a holy paladin to level 69 while you and your brother performed it on each other. If you really need to give anyone advice, teach him how to work your balls without biting. Or better yet, choke on each other so you can at least bring some joy to some bored obituary writer.
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November 19th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
,[...] http://www.cracked.com is one another nice source on this topic,[...]
November 18th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
wow i’m scared to comment now.
that was fucking heeeelarious
November 16th, 2009 at 4:27 am
Good god… I swear people get dumber every day. It’s no wonder you get garbage like that sent to you, after all, the internet is full of children trying to pretend they are adults so they can… think they’re impressing someone, I suppose. Glad (or hope) that you don’t let these morons get to you, after all, people like this aren’t worth anyone’s time. The small minded are ever present and they do like to remind the rest of the world they are still here, to our great dismay, usually.
November 14th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Why do people think that someone as great as Seanbaby can be harmed by your pathetic insults? I know I speak like a super man villain but really most of you fall into the categories he stated above.
Also to the idiot wondering why he was getting paid:
Uh, He’s funny enough that people decided he had to be paid because his opinion warrants legal tender? It’s not that hard to figure it out. A few grammatical errors that detracts nothing from the article isn’t exactly something that would harm the original purpose of it. Actually thinking your comments touched upon some hidden vein of information that none of have ever seen ,and will now destroy the internet and it’s tubes because we know of it, is about the stupidest reason you can have for making the comment. Unfortunately for you idiots it’s the only good one you have.
November 13th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
I’m ashamed to admit that it surprised the piss out of me to see trolls trolling an article about trolls from another article. You’d think I would have learned by now.
Whatever. Stay beautiful, Seanbaby.
November 9th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
stfu stoopd nubs!!1 omg ur like a guy wif mudkips n junior mintlorz all ovr!wut 2 u do in da spare time, DORF? lo like american descrepansy in OBAMA NAZI FUCKERS jew have noo idea to make god rtickle, but mine is best. lol like sticking yur head into yur rs nd making it shredder l ovr! i hve lives, rely. u have nub life wif no raids or women. go stick ur cheasa n2 da weasel but dont try ur prbly FAIL but nothn wrth redin ndy way yu hve no skill go fuck me wif my cunt and vag!!!11onezorslolxxxf
I hope you have enjoyed my attempt to combine every listed failblogger into one huge nob for all the family. i hope everyone liked it. hold your applause!
November 8th, 2009 at 5:19 am
Your blog is good. Great work!
November 7th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Wow! (not world of Warcraft) just wow! that was great!
for now on if i’m pissed with an article i’m gonna think hard about what i type, or else i might end up in one of your lists! :S
October 29th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
and that’s ten people who just got owned. Seanbaby, you are a national treasure. And not the shitty Nicholas Cage kind, either.
October 22nd, 2009 at 6:46 am
Eduardohutch- Actually, that’s staggeringly accurate because that’s exactly where Austria is located! How else do you think they managed to produce Hitler (made of suck) and blondes with enormous breasts who will do literally anything with their vagina’s on camera (made of win)?
I used to know a girl who said “Joke em’ if they can’t take a fuck.” But she was decidely different.
DJCJ- You only find it remarkable because your brain is easily prone to overheating due to your excess consumption of ham. This has also led you to the mistaken assumption that you are funny, when in actual fact, you are a cock.
See Eduardohutch? That’s something. You? Made of donkey. Which means my mother is shortly about to turn up to your house and fuck your arse with a twelve foot strap-on made of wood with a metal point. By that, I mean it’s a fucking spear. Then she will make you eat shit.
I’m not sure what’s worse. That you’re a fuckwit, or that you tried to make an insightful comment…
October 15th, 2009 at 9:19 am
BADALEX: I find it remarkable that someone can attempt to draw attention to their intellect while in the same posting make a slanderous statement against an entire nation (see: “because you are so fat“).
Before you post an undoubtedly delightful post, please understand that I am not American; truth be told, I have no vested interest in this topic of discussion. I do, however, have concern for people like you who are considered to be “Trolling“. If you do not enjoy a well-written (albeit only my opinion) article, then ignore it. Please do not waste our time with your bitter opinions about random topics.
As an interesting side note, have you considered this articles relevency to you- namely how you aptly fit into one of the categories…
Also, your mother is a donkey-raping shit eater.
October 14th, 2009 at 11:26 am
Americans aren’t educated enough to make the jump from Australia to Austria. We spend so little time covering the latter in public school I’d venture most of our citizens think Austria’s located somewhere between Mordor and Super Mario Land. We’re not smart enough to be that stupid.
But we are fat. In fact, I have to type using a wand to avoid mashing down six keys at once with my enormous ham-stubbed fingers.
To quote a great man, “Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.”
October 14th, 2009 at 4:08 am
Robert Denby: Ahem. I’m aware that…some people don’t read that much, nor would I claim that people who don’t read enough on the internet are wrong to do so. However, if you read a little bit more on the internet you will find that Australia is used as a point of humour all the damn time.
Mainly for the amount of venomous angry denizens that exist here. More than eighty percent of the world’s top twenty most venmous snakes? Check. More or less same again for spiders? Sure. Why not. Poisonous Octopus? Sure. And it glows fucking blue. Poisonous Jellyfish? Ha-Hah! Yes. Seriously.
See…the real reason why most of you don’t make jokes about Australia is due to a) Sheer terror. You’re worried if you do that there’ll be Platypus laughing at you and stabbing you with it’s poisonous spur shortly before a Blue Ringe Octopus decides to play ‘cuddles’ with your face. Or something even worse….. or b) You’re Americans. Hence, largely uneducated.
“Stupid Austria! That’s where Hitler came from!”
“Er…Australia? Good at Tennis and Swimming, not Hitler?”
“Gawd-demint!”
And so on. So you’ve tried in the past and been left in crying piss soaked gibbering wrecks, usually after someone simply says “Heyyyy….wait a minute. Didn’t you have George Bush as a President? Twice?”
Oh, one other thing. You know the fridge? That thing you like to keep your ham cold because you are so fat?
Australian invention.
Just sayin’.
October 10th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
BADALEX: Yes, that would be an “epc” burn, Mr. “I need no qualifications to prove my intelligence simply because I’m not American.” Most of us hold off on making jokes about your country because we don’t know much about it, and we don’t know much about it because it isn’t worth knowing about. I mean, we appreciate you giving us AC/DC and everything, but otherwise: suck it.
October 8th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
“Sparkling alabaster asshole” and “here’s a photo of it fucking some butter” send me to the floor EVERY TIME.
October 6th, 2009 at 11:44 am
It takes a special kind of jackass to write angry notes to a humorist.
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:03 am
Yeah, awesome. Only one thing. When I write for money, I tend to make sure that what I write has no spelling errors, grammatical errors or any other malarky like that shit.
Now. What I want to know is, how do you get paid mad loot to write without editing?
Are you from some form of bizarro world where you can do what the fuck you like and the editor says “Hey, here, have some money. I am far too busy doing something to even vaguely glance at what you write.”
Don’t misunderstand and mock me out of context however, because that would piss me off. If a verdamnt Amerikaner is going to mock, then it should at least be IN context.
As in “Hah hah! I am American! We don’t give a fuck about correct use of the English language and all you have is Kangaroos! P.S. Suck shit. We have more hot babes with fake tits, low self-esteem and few to no moral values.”
Because that would be some form of epc burn I think.
The main thing to remember is…I am both curious and slightly envious that you get to write without having to pay excruciating attention to every single letter.
September 30th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
toaster
September 23rd, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Ghost Hunters is a really stupid show.
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:30 pm
You fucking rock. Trolls are a social plague
September 22nd, 2009 at 12:22 pm
I loved the WoW article with Mario. Reading the chat logs in the pictures was the best part. I put a link to it on my guild leader’s web page.
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:59 am
Man…makes me get all misty thinking of the Mark Disporia (?) days on your site. Keep up the good work, Seanbaby!
September 22nd, 2009 at 12:46 am
Great stuff, as always. I was trying to read my friend some of the jokes from this article, and it took me a couple of minutes to stop laughing so I could choke out the words. Genius stuff, your insulting skills are top notch. I hope that you continue to get hate mail, just so I can read your responses in your brilliant articles. Also, I have a friend who is an avid World of Warcraft player, and I can tell you by looking at him that his waste does ooze out of his pores.
September 19th, 2009 at 4:12 am
Laughing much hard! Funny stuff.
September 18th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
It amuses me that so many of you are clearly missing the point of this article. The writer isn’t stooping to the level of his ridiculous critics, he’s using the exaggerated insults to demonstrate how silly it is to respond to anything in this fashion.
September 18th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
That douche spelt chode wrong. What a chode.
September 18th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
I understand commenting if you think an article is good, but why are you douchbags commenting when you think it’s bad? you have lured me into your commenting bullshit now. the Cracked writers are funny, and if you dont like it, turn off the godamn computer and go outside you fat pasty labrynth dwelling morlocks.your sniveling eyglass pushing athmatic whining is stifling the band width. go out side into the sun, and if you dont burst into flame, try to have fun interacting with human beings using old tech, talking.
great article Seanbaby, as always. Keep it up (meant that way too)
September 17th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
Dude, Seanbaby… this fucking picture “Quit chasing that yellow thing and get some sex, homos!” Had me choking on my own throat with laughter for five straight minutes!
I still can’t breathe!
(this comment took ten minutes to type)
September 16th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
Sean, baby, I think your technique in responding to hate comments is very good, and quite funny. I enjoyed the responses with great delight because it made me think of times I got hate comments out of left wall from people too stupid to read and make rational responses to others; and I will probably remember some of your lines and style to help me handle hate comments in the future, instead of anguishing at the thought of how to talk to people who have no brain matter left.
Good work. Maybe you can run a class on how to retort to hate mail! I could you some training! Thanks.
September 15th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Some of those comments were as light-hearted and funny as your original article, yet you insult them as angrily as the people who were offended by the original article. YOAR HYPOCRIT LOL
September 15th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
I usually ignore morons who post shit comments, but this was fucking brilliant, I laughed my ass of! And if they can’t get a joke then they shouldn’t fucking read articles that “hurt their feelings”. This site is about comedy, if you don’t feel like laughing, just go and be depressing somewhere else…
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK CRACKED, YOU FUCKING RULE.
September 15th, 2009 at 11:54 am
funny and informative.
September 11th, 2009 at 6:46 am
hahaha this fucken funny as hell “poof” “ass is a workout machine” that shits so funny comic fucken gold my friend comic fucken gold
September 10th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Seanbaby, why can’t you be around to unleash an onslaught of awesome insults when I need you? This article is just chock-full of priceless comebacks and I applaud your balliness on making an article for the sole purpose of talking shit.
September 9th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Haha dude your articles have to be some of the best ive read. I read your last article using smb to describe wow, and i must say it was the best description i have read yet. One thing though you could have added for those who cant read between the lines (the majority of the people you talked about in this article) as long as you play wow you will never mature past the age of 13.
September 9th, 2009 at 3:53 am
Wow, sounds like your 12-year-old critics are really getting to you.
I don’t play WoW, but if the original article was as poorly written and unfunny as this one, I’m not surprised you got such a negative response. In all honesty, I’m kind of embarrassed for you and for Cracked that this stuff got published.
September 6th, 2009 at 12:45 am
I find it ironic that an article meant to lambaste ‘WOW geek’ hate mail with humor– isn’t funny.
Sorry, just an honest critique.
September 3rd, 2009 at 12:42 pm
I play WoW, and I’ll be the first to say that I suck at video games outside of the PC. *shrug*
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:00 am
hahaha, that was damn awesome. I can’t believe that kid said he only spends that much time on WoW except on his other alt’s. I thought: no way did he just say that… maybe I’m not hip on the lingo, I thought ‘alt’ meant ‘alternative characters?’
and then you pointed it out too and it’s true. he really did say that. that’s a whole new level of stupid lol
‘i only play WoW when im not lvling my other toons’
September 2nd, 2009 at 12:46 am
I haven’t read a Cracked article that I’ve LOLed at more than once in a long, long time, and this one broke that trend. Fucking hilarious. This most definitely applies to 98% of internet holier-than-thou weeping buttpuckers on the internets. You’re adorable, and I love you.
September 2nd, 2009 at 12:18 am
Great article, and it really helps me to understand all sorts of morons on the internet. And while I do have to disagree a bit in that not all players of the WoW community, or internet haters in general, can’t make a good point, it’s a good summary.
September 1st, 2009 at 3:48 pm
Hahahahaha you are so awesome!!
September 1st, 2009 at 12:13 pm
I kinda adore you now.
September 1st, 2009 at 6:51 am
wow, i… i think im in love
August 31st, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Your pac-man pictures are pretty funny, but the actual article just seems like you are trying to get revenge on people you should have just ignored in the first place.
August 31st, 2009 at 2:12 am
“is that cheese/weasel filter thing really true? what if someone invites you last minute to a wine and cheese tasting event!? what will you do then?”
or worse yet, a weasel tasting event.
August 30th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Dude, I love your articles. But don’t stoop to a dick-waving contest over the internet. It’s silly!
August 29th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Another great article, keep up the good work!
August 29th, 2009 at 9:39 am
lol at the insecure one. It doesn’t take skill to click a damn button over and over. Games like Halo and Gears of war take skill. Hell, if you want skill get your ass up and play some sports or some music, now those are skills.
August 28th, 2009 at 11:26 am
How does it feel? HOW DOES IT FEEL?!?! Good!
August 28th, 2009 at 12:17 am
Dude… awesome.
August 27th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
whoa man you were on a roll there, like in the zone with the insults……. theres not much creativity like that on the internet anymore
August 25th, 2009 at 9:21 am
insulting losers is not only good fun, but necessary; especially insulting those who bitch a lot
you saw what libya did to serve hillary clinton
August 24th, 2009 at 10:10 am
Mr. Seanbaby,
Wasn’t it you who wrote, “Internet forums bring out the worst of humanity: stupid irrational egomaniacs telling each other how much they hate everything. Getting bothered by it is like reading “FUCK YOU” on a bathroom wall and saying, “Fuck ME!? H-how DARE they!!” It’s not something you make a mutli-million dollar movie about”. Truly sage words to live by in this day and age, sir.
August 23rd, 2009 at 4:44 pm
wow, nothing like burning someone back. i did not read your other article as of yet, but i do enjoy when someone can easily return a rebuke. makes me feel like it is a bright new world. thank you for restoring my faith in life.
yes i am not kidding. right on, or whatever the colloquialism is
August 22nd, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Seanbaby, some advice: Responding to the dicks by being a dick doesn’t work very well. Its why you’ve been getting a whole lot more trolling on here
August 20th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
is that cheese/weasel filter thing really true? what if someone invites you last minute to a wine and cheese tasting event!? what will you do then?
August 20th, 2009 at 10:18 am
another hilarious article. i love it.
August 19th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
I can’t believe people get so worked up and defensive over World of Warcraft. They all want to justify how it doesn’t suck by trying to tell how awesome their guild is, and how they have so much fun raiding. The only thing they get from Warcraft is a vague sense of belonging from their lame guild that doesn’t care about anything but using them to farm loot for their own characters. There is nothing fun or glamorous about killing the same bosses in wow week after week after week. It doesn’t make you cool, no matter how much you want it to.
August 18th, 2009 at 10:20 pm
I can’t wait to use your insults on some other message board. Thanks, Seanbaby!
August 17th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
I am seriously confused. The majority of the people that comment on this article are douches and make me rage. But by commenting in it, i have made myself a douche… what a world
August 17th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Haha. What a bunch of losers. Keep up the good work, all though might I recommend calling out these “commenters” on the fact that, for the most part, all of them failed English while they where in High School.
August 17th, 2009 at 4:11 am
i can’t decide if it is funny or sad that these people take everything on the internet far too serious.
keep up the good work. and the insults
August 16th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
i think your funny seanbaby, keep up the good work and forget about those idiot-heads
August 16th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Sure this is 10 out of however many, but what about the Pedant? Example: a Pedant might point out that breasts aren’t sexual organs.
August 15th, 2009 at 9:21 am
Nice article, I wonder if you have an example of someone combining all 10 stereotypes into a single message?
August 14th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
No worries, dude. I’m a writer and all people seem to do is sit back and criticize because they have nothing better to do. At the end of the day, they’re opinions are worth a tall pile of ape shit baking on the side walk on a hot summer day. Also, at the end of the day, we’re the ones steering a wide path around them, wrinking our nose and trying to fan the fumes away with our big fat checks.
August 14th, 2009 at 5:24 am
Good Article. The one it’s following on from is also good. Keep it up.
Not really related, but what the hell is the story with girls on the internet? I know they’re few and far between, and that those that are actually willing to submit themselves to constant attention from fat geeks and plebs always attention whores?
Every time I read a comment from some girl, it always mentions something to do with their vag and stuffing it. Christ, it’s a barrage of, “Haha, you’re funny, stick it in,” and, “GOD you’re not funny, I’ve stuffed better things in me”. WE GET IT, you’re an internet prostitute, please stop trying to solicit sex from people online because you’re a hopeless mess in real life.
August 14th, 2009 at 12:48 am
hilarious. it’s like you are an insult machine and i am lovin it! keep it up.
August 13th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Damn, I love the way Seanbaby and Adam Brown write. Their styles are so hilarious and remind me of Forrest Griffin’s in “Got Fight.” You hit the nail on every one of these “L33T” assholes. High five Sean, great article!
August 13th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Wow, huge non-sequitur there sorry. I didn’t mean to assume you’re into fetish photography, I mean, um, I think that’s called transference and really what does any of this have to do with the article? Whew I’m gonna go now, read another list…
August 13th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
One thing I would recommend against is telling people you’re into fetish photography, because whether it’s true or not people will still think your just in it for the tits.
Seriously though you have some really great material. Keep writing I’m loving it, but I do have one request: is there any way you could be more acerbic, I likes me some acerbic.
August 13th, 2009 at 10:19 am
Is there anything better than fucking your moms sparkling alabaster asshole?
I think not.
Seanbaby - I would be happy to trade blows with you anytime.
August 13th, 2009 at 10:11 am
was that Nite-Owl with the Gallagher program?
August 13th, 2009 at 8:50 am
The WOW article was the funniest thing I’ve read in a while, BECAUSE I’m a gamer. And I’d totally throw you a jump, because you’re cute AND funny, which is like my panty-kryptonite. All the angry commenters need to pull their thumbs out of their sparkling alabaster assholes and write a better humor article if they are so knowledgeable.
August 13th, 2009 at 3:07 am
The amateur communicator:
“you’re like if masturbate to fat celebrities then died from crack! LOL and then you did!”
Low-hanging fruit maybe, but still one of the funniest things I’ve ever read.
Also, honourable mention goes to the phrase ‘fucking your wife’s sparkling alabaster asshole’.
August 12th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Did that dude call you Chet? You aren’t Chet! Doesn’t he have a job now too?
August 12th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
The Blind Shit Flinger <–the best XDDD
August 12th, 2009 at 4:12 am
See there are three things that set people off when you make fun of them Politics , religion and MMO’s these people are gigantic fuck tards and handle there entire lives being laughed at cuase thats all they have. Iv played WOW and i liked thought it was fun but everything he said about it was true weather they like it or not
August 12th, 2009 at 2:25 am
Hahahahaha! The best ‘funny because it’s true’ article i have read(PERIOD). You deserve a Ph.D in decoding the personality disorders of commenters who don’t know how to say “I didn’t like your article.”(The best way is NOT to say it) I have seen these ’species’ everywhere! Youtube, MSNBC.com, here, everywhere, and its sickening! Keep it up, great stuff! excuse my praise, i am going to re read this inspiring text!
August 11th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
Now this article rocked. I read Cracked pretty often & get extremely annoyed by all the retardation in the comments section. I rarely even look at it anymore & just lmao at the articles. This was fucking hilarious
August 11th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Great shit man! Loved the WoW article and this one. I thoroughly enjoy when you just make fun of people. Keep up the good work
August 11th, 2009 at 10:55 am
USE SUNBLOCK, I absolutely agree with you. seanbaby’s articles rock, but this was just lame. It came off more as genuinely defensive and angsty rather than funny.
August 11th, 2009 at 4:46 am
This was so funny that I read this 10 times over, before eventually switching over to JCVD to keep from boredom. Even so, your stuff rocks Seanbaby.
Oh, and I think angsty unfunner keeps coming back more often than the other haters… >.<;
August 11th, 2009 at 2:54 am
@USE SUNBLOCK
They aren’t his fans. His fans are the people who like him. These people don’t, and the nature of the comments indicate that it wasn’t just the particular article they didn’t like.
August 10th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
Seanbaby, loved the world of warcraft article but this one is pretty sad. why do you even have to defend yourself against these morons? YOU are the fucking writer; they are mere commenters.
You are the fucking show, they are the fans. This pisses me off because it’s the equivalent of a basketball player jumping into the stands and attacking a rival fan.
Seriously, you’re above this kind of writing. Now YOU look like the whiny bitch. Nice job.
August 10th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Speaking as an ex-World of Warcraft player, I loved your WoW article enough to read it three times. And I laughed every damn time because it was all effing true.
Love your stuff, Seanbaby!
XOXO
August 10th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Awesome. Bowing to your greatness with the witty comeback!
August 10th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
This was funnier than the WoW article itself. Keep up the good work!
August 9th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
“…saved the complicated jokes for your dad’s vaginoplasty.”
Haaaaaa I love it
August 9th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Very funny response. Your WoW article was spot on, coming from someone who plays the game and raids with these people. Oh shit, I’m autobiography-ing, but at least I’m not whining about something you said. Very funny.
August 9th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
The word “poon” made me laugh.
August 8th, 2009 at 8:25 pm
I generally proofread my correspondence to endure that it does not contain sentences like “spent a day in Barrens around a bunch of mouthbreathers that bragged about soloing Malygos”? Is that a stand-up comedian from Futurama? Did Dennis Miller write you that email? New life mission: to turn “pug Hogger on your lvl 1 gnome twink” into a common term for handjobs.
August 8th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
Instead of spraying insults into a group of people who secretly wish they could hold a sword and have +10 stamina in bed, you picked them apart and made them your bitch by individualizing every insult to that person while informing the rest of us that the term “Douchebag” actually has 10 subcategories. Kudos to you my friend
August 8th, 2009 at 1:50 am
punk rock sucks
August 7th, 2009 at 11:52 pm
I would let you pee in my mouth Seanbaby… fantastic read.
August 7th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
lmao, I loved this. I have a very low attention span and this is the first article I’ve read top to bottom in a long time. Some classic lines I won’t soon forget, nor will I quote as you can kinda see them up there…
August 7th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
Refreshing.
August 7th, 2009 at 10:20 am
Sean Baby–Seanbaby?–has the rare talent of bringing punk rock sensibilities to the written word; this article is a prime demonstration.
He’s easily one of my favorite pop culture writers and has been since the late 90s.
August 7th, 2009 at 8:59 am
“Dear Senator, your policies on animal rights are savage and inhumane. And before you write me off as some stupid chick, I have a penis. Here’s a photo of it fucking some butter. Give it a name, Senator. Call to it. I NEED YOU TO PUT ME INSIDE YOU.”
this made me crack up. keep on writing!
August 6th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
OMFG I love your articles. I just read the WoW article and then clicked on this one.
The only problem is you make me jealous.
And NO, this is NOT sarcasm. I just appreciate when people can write insightful stuff and actual spell right. And nothing is funnier than the truth spit back in people’s face. (Unless it’s my face . . . )
Ok. Keep on doin’ what your doin’. Or as they say in Barrens chat, Chuck N@#%@$#% aaargh my brain died.
August 6th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
People got mad at the mario article because it was full of (exaggerated) truths. I thought it was funny.
- a former WoW player
August 6th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
Game. Set. Match. This article made my day. My favorites would have to be “Ms.” Man-boobs and Ghostwriter assuring the Cracked.com readers that you are, in fact, a disgruntled WoW player whose life was destroyed because you were unable to penetrate the Jerichoan walls of the most elite raiding guilds in the world (or at least on their server…. maybe?). As a result of this devastating rejection from their pretend clubs and secret societies, you (insert dick and cheese joke anywhere where the next few sentences should go, minus punctuation marks of any sort). Man, they really got your number on that. We are so glad for them to make those astute observations. Because, really, what DOESN’T piss people off more than not being able to join a “high quality end-game raiding guild”? I can’t think of anything…. and I don’t want to.
Now I’m off to read the comments left for THIS post, and get my jollies off of how many people will prove you to be even MORE correct than your article alone did.
Bravo, man! Great article!
August 6th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
Seanbaby,
I just started reading your articles today, starting with ‘The Top 10 Ragdoll Physics Moments in Mixed Martial Arts’, continuing to the Mario teaches WoW one, and now this. I just have to say that your talent for getting a laugh out of me is uncomparable. I loved all three articles, especially your descriptions of all the internet D-Bags out there
Keep Kicking Ass
CDS
August 6th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Seanbaby,
I remember reading you in The Wave years back and admiring your style quite a bit. As I worked my way through J-school I often thought, “hey, you can totally be somewhat successful by being a sardonic dickhead who writes well” and as a sardonic dickhead, that gave me great hope for the future. Now, as a woefully underemployed writer wading through a shitstorm of dead-end jobs, I still think you are fucking funny. I am glad I found you again, and before this turns into an e-handjob, I’d like to say “keep it up, fuckwad.”
-O. Ray
August 6th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
I gotta admit, I’m a blind shit flinger. But they say that the first step on the road to recovery is to know you need fucking recovery. But seriously, fuck that. Your article was funny as hell, and the fact that I found myself on the list gave me a sense of pride. Keep writing dude, for all the sick fucks like me.
August 6th, 2009 at 10:38 am
To be honest, I used to not like your articles. But recently you have been getting a lot better. Your articles are much longer and more in depth, and also relate to me better. I love it when people take something fun/perky (Mario, WoW) and then critically analyze it like you do. It’s great stuff man; keep it coming.
J.D.
August 6th, 2009 at 10:06 am
I have been reading your articles for about ten years and if the fine people here at Cracked can’t take five minutes away from thinking National Lampoon has released entertaining movies in that same increment of time to appreciate the eternal value of your comedy, then they don’t deserve to laugh.
August 6th, 2009 at 6:21 am
Yeah basically you’re fucking hilarious. This and the WoW article made me laugh to the point of tears (seriously). You can even make fun of me if you want. Keep writing…your stuff just might give Trey Parker and Matt Stone a run for their money!
August 6th, 2009 at 5:51 am
Buffy is a cool show…. so is firefly
August 5th, 2009 at 10:03 pm
u arent bettr then them cos tourettes syndrome directd @ gamers isnt funny.
August 5th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Haha. Guys, this is all just someones opinion. A very funny opinion. I liked it. Calm down, take breath, go watch the third season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
August 5th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Srsly guys. I play WoW and love it. But I do get what he is saying, there are some insolent d-bags out there that would ruin the game completely if it weren’t so awesome. The point: It’s a fucking joke. He’s not being sexist, racist, or anything else for that matter other than being funny, which is his job. Lighten up or STFU.
August 5th, 2009 at 11:09 am
For gods sake people lighten up! No one cares if what this article says offends you. Get used to it, your going to get offended your entire life. I thought it was funny as shit.
August 5th, 2009 at 11:07 am
Dude, I think your funny as shit. No comment on the idiots who post all that.
August 5th, 2009 at 6:35 am
I love how all of these people think that they’re making themselves look superior, but with silly, unsupported complaints whined through their outstretched fingertips that poise so readily over their arrow keys and the numbers 1-9, they prove absolutely everything you were purporting in the first place.
I wonder if they even realized that the original article wasn’t a personal slight. I mean here you are preaching about dicks and idiots and then they write back like you’re not the first person to have said that to them - because they all assumed you singled them out to the point they needed to defend themselves.
The exchange, in its entirety was:
“Just about everyone who plays WoW is a dick or an idiot.”
“…you’re a dick or an idiot.”
“…” ~chuckle~
The genius of this was that you didn’t even need to respond - just posting what they said was enough.
What you said was true. While, you didn’t necessarily need to specify WoW, I understand why you did - it’s one of the most popular MMOs out there. But, the advice was true for all MMOs. Personally, I haven’t played WoW, but I play City of Heroes, and it’s the same story. I had a group the other day that got TPKd as we walked through the door because everyone was doing something different. One guy pulled before everyone was ready, the healer wasn’t healing, everyone attacked someone different. Then when we all died, we are going to change the mish before one of the idiots says, “Wait! We can beat this! We totally took out that first group, this should be easy.”
I know what you’re thinking. We kicked him from the team and changed the mish, right? Because everyone has the common-sense to know that its a terrible idea to try and complete a mish that we got wiped on the *first wave of enemies*, right? Wrong. The guy says, “We can take ‘em” like he has short-term memory loss, and the most staggering part of all is that he convinced the rest of the team to give it another shot.
So it wound up different, right? NO! Of course not. It’s the definition of insaninty to TRY THE SAME THING TWICE AND EXPECT DIFFERENT RESULTS.
So I’m with ya, man. The article was funny and well-written, and most of all true. If I was your editor, I might have mentioned that you write for a niche, most of whom probably plays WoW, and if you’re right (you are) about them all being idiots and dicks, then you might get a little bit of heckling from publishing the article… but that is neither here, nor, invariably, now.
Maybe your next article should start with telling your fans to read a Stephen Covey book so they can learn to SHIFT THEIR PARADIGM, maybe step outside their own PoV and learn to laugh a little at things that are funny, EVEN IF ITS THEMSELVES. Humor’s about contrasts and exaggerations, and long have we pointed out those who are different for the sake of a joke, and GUESS WHAT, you’re different Cracked-reader alpha.
Keep up the good work, sb. You’re probably not a true writer until you piss some people off anyway, so … good work, I guess. Hopefully you feel vindicated that those select few idiots and/or dicks perpetuated the stereotype they were futilely fighting so hard to dismantle. I do.
August 5th, 2009 at 1:05 am
It’s people that send hate mail like that mate…. that make me lose more and more faith in humanity… IS THERE NO DECENT PEOPLE ANYMORE!! *Dramatic flail and sigh* ………….. anyway… really, people that send hate mail really must have…. no life, most of the time if I’m sent hate mail for playing online games like, HALO *cough* Gears of war, L4D… somethin of that sort, I tend to shrug it off o.O What’s their opinion to me anyway but a low, annoyed reaction to me just whopping up on their ass in a friendly game? *pauses and thinks* that probably had absolutely no relevance to this topic but what the hell I’m bored… Great article Sean!
August 4th, 2009 at 9:44 pm
I love you Seanbaby.
Sorry man, I had to say it, you’re my man crush.
No Homo.
August 4th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
It is pathetic squabbling like this that convinced Doom to permanently outlaw anything resembling a public exchange of ideas in Doom’s glorious kingdom.
While, in your own laughably inferior way, you have gained some of the attention of the masses with your many similies and references to sodomy and farm animals and sodomy with farm animals, by leaving the safety of your website you have allowed your own messages of hope and genital assault to shrink in comparison to the sheer volume of moronic verbal sewage that is viewer generated commentary.
Much in the same way that your own genitals would shrink when compared to the mighty, adamantium-plated phallus of Doom!
In closing, Doom’s inescapable powers of observation have detected a disturbing lack of colorful language to describe the varied stenches of your detractors. Doom extends an invitation to rendez-vous with Doom at your nearest Latverian embassy. The ventilation ports in Doom’s armor will provide you with no end of inspiration for future allusions.
Should you survive the experience, that is.
August 4th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
Very nice article. Your opinions and views from both the previous WoW article, as well as this one pretaining to the various types of idiots, was as spot on as anyone could possibly get. They both made me laugh equally, and I greatly enjoy your work.
I used to play WoW myself, have/had to deal with morons like this/that everyday, and agree hands down with everything you’ve said in both posts. Your humor is outstanding and I hope you continue to post more in the near future!
August 4th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
Are you sure the lady you dated wasn’t a ghost? Because ghosts are the only people who didn’t like ghostbusters. I know people who haven’t even seen Ghostbusters and still like Ghostbusters. Hell, even most ghosts liked Ghostbusters. Some death row inmates’ last meal is Ghostbusters.
I’m kidding though. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t seen Ghostbusters
August 4th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
this guy’s humor and sarcastic tones are similar to maddox (the best page in the universe), except he makes spelling mistakes lol
August 4th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
LOL. That article was sad, but true.
Love your articles =)
August 4th, 2009 at 4:35 am
Lol Cheese Weasel
August 4th, 2009 at 1:15 am
It’s quite obvious that he has stolen AVGN’s shtick. If he’d existed befre, then he must have plagerized AVGN’s shtick in order to be more relevant today, which is pathetic. Shouldn’t his outdated ass be left behind like Goecities websties adn that Maddock pirate guy?
August 3rd, 2009 at 8:28 pm
BALLS
August 3rd, 2009 at 5:27 pm
hahhaa, incredible 100% true article. you should make one about the peeps on youtube.
August 2nd, 2009 at 11:32 am
girls like me are so annoying when they say things like the things I refuse not to say! tee hee am I clever yet
August 2nd, 2009 at 11:31 am
p.s. I am fat.
August 1st, 2009 at 11:59 pm
yeah, I play WoW and totally lol’d at both articles… AND I have a vagina. Yep, I’ll wait here while you pick the pieces of your mind off the ground.
August 1st, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Started out funny. Got bored. stopped reading. Enjoyed what I did read.
Good job.
August 1st, 2009 at 9:44 pm
Wholey shit. This was the funniest thing i’ve read since fucking forever.
August 1st, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Honestly, I don’t understand the hate from Warcraft-ers; I play WoW myself and I loved the original article, and this. I suppose some people feel it’s their duty to take comedy (extremely) personally.
Anyway, great work; hilarious and very, very true. Keep it coming, Sean.
August 1st, 2009 at 10:14 am
My favourite hater line is the one where they point out that your opinion on something isn’t “valid,” followed by the most semantic, hair-splitting reason why.
July 31st, 2009 at 8:16 pm
This was friggin’ hilarious. Pleeeeeease plan for a sequel!
Good trash.
July 31st, 2009 at 7:01 pm
An awesome read, laughed at it a lot. It’s just as good as the original Explaining WoW with Mario article. Great Job.
July 31st, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Great!
those people seriously needed someone telling them to shut up!
thanks for being that someone
July 31st, 2009 at 8:26 am
This article is hilarious. Good social commentary that’s hilarious to boot. This is why I keep coming back to Cracked. Keep it up Sean.
July 31st, 2009 at 8:09 am
(.)(.)
) . (
( Y )
July 31st, 2009 at 7:21 am
I loved this, great job! Reminds me of your great stuff from EGM. Thanks for making my day!
July 31st, 2009 at 7:17 am
hey, that was great. and very true, which shows us all just how pathetic the videogamers and other hate mailers are. great work, seanbaby.
July 31st, 2009 at 6:08 am
HAHA! 10/10!!
I actually almost died laughing!
Keep going with it because its just fantastic watching some people getting really angry about it!! xD xx
July 31st, 2009 at 12:05 am
BEWARE, RANT.
Here’s a post for everyone saying seanbaby is being a bitchy little girl, or people telling him to shut up and not to care what people say or whatever:
Have you ever created something and had it critiqued by many people?
If you answered no, shut the fuck up, you know shit.
when you spend tons of your time making something to entertain others, and somebody goes out of their way to tell you how much you suck, no matter how stable you are emotionally, it can have an effect. making art is no walk in the park, and drowning out the assholes you lump put-downs on you, because your attempt to entertain them somehow didn’t match up to their lofty expectations, is harder than you think (and the internet can be a cruel and unusual place). I can’t talk for seanbaby, but most criticism I’ve had in what I do I can take with a grain of salt, but there are times when it pisses me the fuck off, and I can understand anyone else having these moments.
This article is just seanbaby’s hilarious backlash, and all negative comments without a inkling of constructive criticism serves to only reinforce his position. I was always taught that if I couldn’t say something nice not to say anything at all (but we all break that rule occasionally, some far too often).
July 30th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
Thank you so, so much. This made my life.
July 30th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
The comments about the “girl gamers” are definitely true. I happen to be one, but I don’t run around screaming about how awesome my ovaries are. Even if they /are/ totally awesome.
“Girl gamers” are now somehow stereotypical without being acknowledged as stereotypical, with the advent of casual games, Ctrl-Alt-Delete (may it burn in hell,) and the northern states. Spaying may also come in to play.
Heck, even without considering casual games being more widespread, spending all of one’s time obsessively playing games like WoW doesn’t make anyone, including girls, any more impressive than people who obsessively play Bejeweled. Both are still kind of irritating when they try to flaunt it.
July 30th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
I’ve encountered every one of those.
And even been a few. Great article.
July 30th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
“when the rare female sends hate mail, she always squeezes in a reference to her sexual organs”
That’s because women are so pathetic, that they are incapable of going “ZOMG I AM FEMLE THRFUR I AM STHPECIAL LOLOLOL”. Listen honey, you’re one in a two; ergo, one in every two humans are female. You ain’t special, toots. Grow up.
July 30th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
I am never getting in a flame war with you.
July 30th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
There was already much better article. Here:
http://www.cracked.com/article_16605_8-most-obnoxious-internet-commenters.html
July 30th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
I was once inside the beads for restart later and window blinds 13th floor happiness within my mind’s refrigerator I explode with strychnine into pond toilet within my houses arteries and flash bulbs and feces. It was a grand watch boxing with signage karaoke inside of the girl’s peanut.
July 30th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Come on guys, flame this. I want to see him write an article picking on the people who complained about the article he wrote picking on the people who complained about his article.
Seanbaby, a tip? I’d add “douchebags who use internet memes like they’re still funny” somewhere in there. If I see one more “an hero” comment on a cracked comment because they didn’t get the joke I’m going to cry. I could eat my keyboard and shit a wittier comment than that.
July 30th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Yawn
July 30th, 2009 at 11:32 am
I want to bone you, Seanbaby…. with my vagina. My boobs would also get involved. Crazy group sex with you, me, my vagina, and some boobs.
July 29th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
Dude, that was fucking awesome. Laughed ’til I cried.
I want you to have my babies, Seanbaby.
July 29th, 2009 at 8:56 pm
Hey ppl:)
Don`t you just get it: these players are addicted and can`t help being like this…we all need the interact and feel that we have accomplishments and are respected as such…
It`s that only some of do that by:
a) Playing WoW in which `accomplishment` means getting a lvl 70 character. (or 80 is it?)
b) Getting a job, getting promoted, getting a family etc.
c) Writing comedy, which is quite noble: bringing a smile to me as I am pissed of at work:)
Anyhow…have a nice and productive life!
July 29th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
I LOVE THIS ARTICLE!! It REEKS with irony. First, after reading about how these WoW players are all idiots and douchebags, they post on the comments section and show exactly how to be an idiot and a douche. I thought to myself.. should I post? Should I subject myself to the oncoming tsunami of shit? Then this pearl came along. At first I thought it was immature and kind of sad blasting back at all the haters but then I realized-that’s exactly the point. The first comments section was a complete black hole of dip shits. This article is like it’s vaccine. The haters will now be hard pressed to come up with anything original, because they are now aware that it doesn’t work. And for the one’s that don’t, it’s already too late for them. It’s like the ending of every hell raiser movie. Except with hentai and noobs..gross.. KUDOS!
July 29th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
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July 29th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
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July 29th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
I really don’t want to be detective hypocrisy, but this article could be named “10 species of angry internet posters” in order to accommodate for writers as well.
With that title, you’d need an eleventh: “The Insecure Writer Not Following His Own Beliefs.”
I don’t want to see an entire article about your arguments with the people on the internet. You seem to acknowledge the futility of such an endeavor, yet you are only antagonizing and encouraging it further.
I didn’t find the article entirely funny (though it had its moments), but it was interesting (otherwise I wouldn’t be posting). Good job on that.
All-in-all this entire document was about your own pitiful argument with the world’s scum - let it go.
Take my post as a compliment that I believe I am not arguing with the world’s scum, but please realize your fallacy.
On a side note: genitals, bitchtits, cuntnugget! (Did I get all of them yet?) Ok, too busy to say anything else.
July 29th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
of this shit i meant to say lol i agree with teasdale, gold star stuff
July 29th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
also absolutely hysterical lol fuck i wish i could think of shit
July 29th, 2009 at 11:11 am
gold star, seanbaby, gold star. <3
July 29th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Fuk me this article was bad ass. Seanbaby wit a vengence. I actually need 2 take sum notes on the cumbacks. Hilarious.
July 29th, 2009 at 9:52 am
Oh the relief! Finally, an article with mainly positive comments. I just kept reading as my day got better and better.
July 29th, 2009 at 9:37 am
Fuck. Now I’m confronted with the uncomfortable feeling of being in love with two men at once: Brockway, and now Seanbaby.
July 29th, 2009 at 8:40 am
Seanbaby, your articles are good, your assessment of the pitfalls of WoW are apt, and your retaliation against commenters is warranted, but you have got to ease up on the homophobic epithets and the misogyny. You’re a role model, as unfair to you as that is, given the nature of Cracked magazine. Maybe some, even most of your readers are knuckle-dragging, socially retarded, trolls, and that sucks, but you can certainly express your wholly justifiable indignation without using two disenfranchised populations as cannon fodder.
July 29th, 2009 at 8:35 am
I think you whiny little douchebags need to read this article again:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/10-species-of-angry-commenter-you-encounter-on-the-web/
July 29th, 2009 at 8:01 am
damn you seanbaby, for being so hilarious.
hehe… “alabaster asshole.”
July 29th, 2009 at 7:50 am
stick it to the man!
July 29th, 2009 at 2:19 am
I’m a man who enjoys good insults, and I’ve got to tell you…this was some damn exquisite venom. Well done.
July 28th, 2009 at 10:57 pm
You forgot those that think their life purpose is to dump on any and everything. For these it wouldn’t matter if you typed “All work and no Play makes Seanbaby the Boston Strangler” over and over, they’d criticize it the same exact way.
These people seem to imagine themselves in a fictional sarcastic insult contest and points will be awarded to win a copy of the home game or Rice a Roni. They often think themselves originals but there are multiple examples of them on every forum or site. In fact, they are the most stereotypical vermin on the internet except for bots.
Most times, when enough of these losers inhabit a site, they virtually kill it. It becomes a “hard core” sect waiting for someone to register and log in so they can wade in on whatever they say. You can almost hear the crickets chirp on these now dead sites.
July 28th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
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July 28th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
Boobs!
July 28th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
Haha, nice. XD. It’s just too bad many who respond here will be some 10 other kinds of angry commenters. But I’d be happy to name 2: cap-locked angst and substitute-for-another commenter.
Though it’s ok if you don’t understand my weird grammar sense… at least I’m not another hungry troll.
July 28th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
Seanbaby, I would like to inform you that I wish to have lot of sex with you, preferably with being coverd with various house hold items that can double as personal lubricants. I think that to engage in lots of dirty, nasty sexual intercourse with you would be an enjoyable experiance for both of us, and anyone else you wish to involve. if your interested, give me a call. I’ll be waiting…naked.
-Val
PS: I am naked right now (.)(.)
July 28th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
You actually read these comments? I am surprised by that.
Also, I’ve got something I want to put in you, since you seem to care so goddamn much about your readers, you can do some charity work on my cock (I know, I know, you’ll need to tidy up your commitments to your mother’s cock first)
Geez. I like reading your stuff, quit this awful meta-comedy. I have no place in your life. Nor does anybody else here. Quit blurring that line, it makes me think I’m in with a chance.
Now touch it.
July 28th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
The best part is searching through the comments to this article and identifying them by type.
You’ve changed my goddamn life, Seanbaby.
July 28th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
>the equivalent of me busting out an article on making building a real working time machine after watching back to the future and jerking off to Einstein’s photo
You gotta admit…that’s pretty fucking funny.
July 28th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Monkey Rape!!!! Fucking excellent man. While people have a right to comment their feelings about your article, they should give constructive criticism, not retarded rants as you illustrated in this. Well Done man!
July 28th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
I liked your previous article, but man, this whining is cheap.
July 28th, 2009 at 11:29 am
great article, the funniest people are the ones that flaunt their raiding accomplishments thinking that it will gain them some respect in the real world. The only part that i dindn’t find that funny was when you were saying that you were fucking the guys wife. It seems like the kind of thing the “Angsty Unfunner” would say.
July 28th, 2009 at 10:38 am
P.S. (that’s post-script for all you clueless mouth-breathers out there) Let’s get some dicks in me!
July 28th, 2009 at 10:04 am
Hey man I have boobs my opinion is more important than those male commenters below!
And here it is! From a person with tits! Girl ones!
This article was pretty funny.
July 28th, 2009 at 9:29 am
Man.
You really do have to make more of these killercolumns.
I am literally cracking myself apart when i see each sentence you write filled with flame-immunity.
July 28th, 2009 at 8:58 am
Lol. This reminds of Maddox’s hatemail page. Funny article too.
July 28th, 2009 at 8:17 am
You missed one.
The “I’M A GIRL GAMER!!!!!!” comments.
Those stupid fucking bitches who think because they play games and have a vagina, that somehow makes them special and ultra desirable.
There’s nothing wrong with girl gamers…it’s just the ones that shout about it as though it’s some huge rarity that annoys me
July 28th, 2009 at 7:50 am
ATTN Writer/ editor:
You are the man.
Seriously, I have never encountered such intricate insults and hilarious comebacks ever. I haven’t followed your work too much but this one makes me click the “Favorites” button. I aspire to be you! Please write more of these, because the reactions you generate from people are top notch.
July 28th, 2009 at 6:02 am
cspotrun… do you see what you just did?
Listen, cracked writers have editors that are paid to tell them what’s wrong with their articles. It isn’t the job of commenters.
July 28th, 2009 at 5:59 am
And this article clearly demonstrates why you never try to insult a comedian of any sort, whether it be an internet writer or a stand-up comic. Hecklers WILL without doubt have the biggest strip torn off them, no matter how inventive with their insults they think they are. This is why seanbaby is a cracked.com writer and the plebs highlighted above aren’t.
July 28th, 2009 at 2:19 am
piss more people off so you can do more of these
July 28th, 2009 at 1:02 am
when these 10 comments were first posted, who gave a crap and agreed with them anyway? what is the point of this rant? most people would have known the commenters being bitched about here for what they were.
…that girl just mentioned her tits because she thinks being a girl gamer makes her ‘unique’. Possibly the most pathetic thing mentioned by any of the 10 commenters listed.
July 28th, 2009 at 12:12 am
@noseriouslydude:
You went into a Seanbaby article with a previously conceived idea of the FORMAT of the article and THAT’S why you’re angry?
If you would pay attention, it was an article about these types of mail writers using responses to his article as an EXAMPLE.
No, it isn’t like listening to Uwe Boll defend his movies.
July 27th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
SHIT! Do you realize what you have done? Once you point out how ridiculous people get when the one thing they charish is attacked they are just going to change themselves and then we won’t be able to tell them apart from the smart peop…
Nevermind, continue with whatever it is you do
July 27th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
I was expecting something of a list with multiple examples of each type of angry commentator you might encounter, but this seems to be a rant about negative commentary you recieved on some previous article you wrote. It’s like listening to Uwe Boll deffend his video game movies.
July 27th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
You are by far the funniest article writer on cracked in my opinion. All of your articles have been total hits with me! It’s refreshing to always know I have something GOOD to look forward to when reading one of your articles. The other men have been kind of hit and miss for the most part, but you are consistently funny. Keep up the good work!
July 27th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
I was going to say “Boy, all you wankers really care too much about this.” Then I realized that by commenting on it, I’d be caring too much about it too.
Then I commented on it anyway.
Really, how can we all be so AMAZINGLY BORED that we have to pass the time by pissing in the ocean? What is wrong with society?
Been reading your work since like 1999 Seanbaby, and you keep getting funnier. Keep it up. <3
July 27th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
WoWtards deserved this.
I cracked an approving smirk.
Fucking ghostbusters :]
July 27th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
I didn’t read your WoW article, this just caught my eye, really. The Dick Mentor kinda made me giggle; because I enjoy Sims. But other than that I enjoyed this a lot and found it mostly correct (nothing is correct with opinions, so I guess I mean that I find it agreeable).
Have a lovely day.
Senny
July 27th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
I think its funny that this jackamo bothers to read what you asswipes have to say in these comments. He’s totally insecure, but it made for a good article.
Seanbaby is so hit or miss, its frustrating. I’ll read something like this or his Sims experiment and think he’s a genius. Then I’ll read some piece of uninspired crap that leaves me feeling cheated. Yeah, comedy is subjective but you can tell when he mails it in because his good stuff stands out so much.
July 27th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
For a guy bent on putting down article commenters you sure do know a thing or two about how it should be done. That article really could have been 1 sentence long, it was so bad seanbaby might as well just leave Cracked and take his dick jokes with him. You’re prolly a whinny lil baby who tried writing article comments and had no real skill. It -could- have been hilarious, but there was not enough dick in meat grinder humor to reach such lofty potential. It made me laugh, but I still think you’re a wad. You need to get laid, play with my tits and then get the Delorean up to 88 so you can go back in time and rewrite this piece of crap!
July 27th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
If your ego is seriously so fragile that you need to send hatemail to a comedy writer on Cracked when he makes fun of your pointless timesink, you really need to step back and put some perspective on your life.
July 27th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
CHEESE WEASEL
July 27th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
amen
July 27th, 2009 at 11:45 am
Just 2 issues that potentially disappoint me about seanbaby’s retaliation: One, not frequent enough. However, I am often controlled by my sometimes self-sodomizing rage.
Two, (and maybe I just overlooked it) there was no mention of these Darwinism repudiaters needing anti-adhesives to remove the bedpans from their asscheeks. Reason being, of course, their assholes swell as they feed on their trailer trash Dads’ penises before the Sunday sermon.
Worry not, conveyor of comic joy. Some of us have owned our thesauruses long enough to know what the hell you are talking about. And find time to be receptive to the funny.
July 27th, 2009 at 11:42 am
I love how defensive people get when their beloved pastime (in this case, World of Warcraft) becomes ‘threatened’ by people who see it as what it is (aka a retarded waste of time). I also enjoy seeing how the replies of aforementioned people just leeches into your brain as they bitch about somebody bitching on, what less, THE DAMN INTERNET. So what if someone says your favorite game is a retarded pile of goat semen? Its the fucking internet! How, exactly, is someone else’s opinion going to affect you, and how, pray tell, are your own opinions going to affect him in the slightest, other than providing a convenient self-mockery system? How many times have critics backed down just because some teh 1337 gamerz’ disliked what he had to say?
Heh, sorry about the rant, but that’s just how this article struck me
July 27th, 2009 at 11:25 am
Seanbaby is easily the funniest writer on all of the internets!
July 27th, 2009 at 11:18 am
I showed the article to all my hardcore WoW friends and we still laugh and quote it. You cant really expect much from posters that play WoW, 5 mins in the WoW forums will show you that.
For the guy knocking female wow players… you are an idiot.
July 27th, 2009 at 8:47 am
Seanbaby is teh man.
July 27th, 2009 at 8:27 am
I like how the people who were insulted by the WoW article think Seanbaby actually feels defensive about their replies.
Sean’s article was full of gorgeous irony, but they can’t even see how funny their own replies are. Nothing like being distracted by coming up with sarcastic comebacks and missing all the jokes, and then saying its not funny, or written by a moron.
July 27th, 2009 at 8:25 am
Well written shawnbaby, I enjoyed your piece with SMB (or pac-man in this case) To illustrate how WoW works. Your ending paragraph summed up that you have enough knowledge of the subject to objectively pen an article with relevance.
I have to say, your flaming replies were a bit frightening, I wouldn’t want to end up on opposite ends of the flaming spectrum. (Or perhaps I would, nothing like a good challenge).
Keep up the article work, perhaps you’ll parody some more various interweb users.
|Insert choice of insult here as ending sentence|
July 27th, 2009 at 8:23 am
LMAO!! I actually remembered PuddleofAids comment from the last article and at the time thought “What a fucking tool”. Excellent article, keep up the good work!
July 27th, 2009 at 7:50 am
“Snowden Says:
July 26th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Ha! Fuck Warcraft. I’m sick of those closet eaters trying to defend themselves. Seriously, fuck ‘em. They are slaves to the very mechanism of their unhappiness. A sad, preventable cycle. Go outside and fail in the daylight you worthless losers. At least then, when your weeping family buries you in that small crater they kindly call a grave with a crane and a bulldozer they can put “He/She tried” on your tombstone…I wouldn’t piss on one of you if you were on fire, it would be a waste of piss.”
Love that comment. Warcraft is just a waste of time and money. It’s also an insult to piss.
July 27th, 2009 at 6:59 am
I was thinking the same thing when I was reading most of the comments on that article. The funny thing is that I’m not even sure you tried that hard to find the best examples of each. Imagine what Idiocy you could have found if you had combed the entire comment section but I know you have better things to do.
I do have one question for you though and I hope you can explain it to me seeing as you have some of the greatest insight into psyche if these obviously disturbed people. Why do people who seem to hate cracked humor continue to come here and comment on every single article?
July 27th, 2009 at 5:52 am
I love it how the lame-ass, pathetic dregs of humanity known as “female WoW players” just trip over themselves to tell you that they have tits. Yeah, ropey, fat tits with hair around the nipples, more than likely. It’s why the ugly bitches are inside playing WoW in the first place, they shouldn’t see the light of day and the only time they get fucked is in one of their Blood Elf fanfics.
July 27th, 2009 at 4:14 am
read slutter mcgee’s comment. i don’t think he’s giving you or the trolls enough credit. online gamblers? lol. i think that’s his nice way of asking you to write about something different.
it’s to bad manougon didn’t take it all the way to wow player level. blind fear? haven’t you noticed (i have and i’m not even done reading the comments) that some of the commentors are simply posing as trolls simply to egg sb on and maybe end up in an article?
smdh @ cheese weasel. trolling since 13? i hope he’s been trolling sb.com and maybe growing some thick skin. do people actually say that stuff and admit to doing that like it’s something so amazing. couldn’t have said lurking? i hope he’s getting paid.
nspan’s psychoanlysis of sb is kinda funny.
lol @ team tile thinking he’s immune…why is he posting then.
i think kokopure’s name is code for POS, and he obviously didn’t read the comment below his stating that wow is gay (not my words. haven’t played it :). i like the graphics though).
agree with mark’s comment about you becoming a battle rapper. it worked for another caucasian who was full of hate…and he’s a worldwide star. lol. surely if you wanted to seanbaby you could be famous.
hahah @ scott hamilton’s comment. i also love that mr. t pic. actually anyone with a brain loves mr. t.
agree with zombie. i was laughing like i was dying, which i was, and doing the whole kicking legs, smacking my table laughing moment.
i agree with socklord36 about sims graphics.
don’t respond to pepito.
@lahondre- that paul blartt mall cop advice was a bit too strong. i mean they are gamers not idiots…well maybe i am giving them too much credit.
i keep coming across these guild comments and i’ll echo another persons post and say wtf is a guild…actually just because i haven’t even played wow doesn’t mean i don’t know what the game is or how to play it or abou the people who play the game. i may be a rare obscure former gamer but i am a video game fan.
i agree with skypork. i like when you go all in seanbaby.
i’m with reidles. it took me FOREVER to finish the actual post because i was so busy laughing for really long spurts (woke up my parents) and thumping my table top that i think there’s something wrong with me. i mean it couldn’t be as possibly funny as i think it is. i need to re-evaluate my taste for humour.
lol brea, that’s too much logic.
yupp ratchet1215 some of them do it on purpose. just like sb is yanking them they are trying to get his goat too…but clearly some of them have been drinking too much kool-aid.
that person, dudeski, is too funny. i think he’s letting us know a fantasy of his.
i don’t have any problems like m16 with kissing you you sb because i have concrete tits and i will blow your mind…not really. i’m too bnoring.
@db-readers equal fair game. the should know what they participate in.
will be back to read the next then on to the original article
thanks seanbaby.
July 27th, 2009 at 3:23 am
a pixelated dildo. whoever the fuck crafted that give that person 1 of the 3 gifts baby jesus got coz that is awesome?
July 27th, 2009 at 2:10 am
i remember the that so raven review and i still don’t know what you did in your past life to get that interview gig.
aside from the rotc series i liked the ad review section from the old comics.
July 27th, 2009 at 1:57 am
i should have made my way to cracked a long time ago. shoot. i remember you from mtv, egm, 1up and your website when it used to get update, which is probably being updated now. wow. i guess i have to go right back to following your work again. it’s much appreciated. first thing i’m going to do after i catch up is hit the site. haven’t been there in a long while. it’ll feel good to get reaquainted.
July 27th, 2009 at 1:27 am
sorry about double post.
it’s going to take some time to get through all these 600+ comments but it must be done for me to get a clearer picture (although you did well in showing both the trolls side and yours as well) and then i will move on to the original article.
July 27th, 2009 at 1:22 am
God Damn,I love you Seanbaby.
July 27th, 2009 at 12:52 am
Ok, I might just think everything is funny, and I’m pretty new to cracked, but you are one of the best writers on here I have read. I laughed so hard at your war craft article I peed a little. My buddies read your war craft article and laughed so hard he couldn’t talk. Keep writing homie, you’re the shit!
July 27th, 2009 at 12:30 am
oh and just to clear it up i have never played wow or halo or any video game made in the past 8 years so i am out of the loop. i found my way here through a link from somewhere i can’t remember…maybe reading a techcrunch piece, but i am not sure. so i am coming here as an outsider and observing the kingdom. i don’t have any hate for anyone or anything but i do know i love what was written and therefore that love extends to the author. hahaha but i’m sure that after i finish reading the comments i can easily change my mind and see the whole apparently very delicate situation from another perspective. reading your article and letting go of my own aggravation with trolls is theraputic. a bit sick but still good for a master cleanse type feeling.
July 27th, 2009 at 12:26 am
oh and just to clear it up i have never played wow or halo or any video game made in the past 8 years so i am out of the loop. i found my way here through a link from somewhere i can’t remember…maybe reading a techcrunch piece, but i am not sure. so i am coming here as an outsider and observing the kingdom. i don’t have any hate for anyone or anything but i do know i love what was written and therefore that love extends to the author. hahaha but i’m sure that after i finish reading the comments i can easily change my mind and see the whole apparently very delicate situation from another perspective.
July 27th, 2009 at 12:20 am
awww daxl i was just getting ready to read the comments. i was also going to read the original article that started all of this hating and also read the comments there. thanks for the warning though. it’s like reading tolkien. i’ll do it at my own risk.
July 27th, 2009 at 12:15 am
What an interesting addition you are seanbaby! You really take it personally. This article is actually funny and brave in a loony way in that you’re so fervently defending an article that wasn’t very good in the first place against an enormous anonymous mass of commenters who’s opinions mean nothing to anyone but you.
July 27th, 2009 at 12:03 am
i think this is one of the best things i’ve read ever, anywhere. it certainly beats reading sourcrates, kant, tolstoy and all that sh*t that resides in the dying paper lit industry ;P. i hope you don’t mind but i am going to break this up into parts and get it printed out on some t’s. i hope i don’t get arrested or beat up. if i do can i blame it on you. lol i don’t think so because after reading all of that vulgarity (you certainly have a way with citing examples and drawing out scenarious. i especially liked the cat one) hahah i have learned to blame myself for my own ineptitude and not to blame others. thank you sean. baby you can drop that girl you mentioned in the opus and rock my world any day. i love pac man by the way. i even have those dumb pro-keds pacman shoes…they had space invaders but i didn’t have money. anyways long live video games, pac man, super mario bros. i use to play a lot of donky kong and sonic…but i think saying that basically makes me a 90’s kid. oh well. this is my first intro to cracked and i am smitten and devoted. i will be reading as many pieces as i come across and i hope they don’t fail me. this was probably one of the most well written pieces i’ve read ever. i am going to forward this to my english teacher. i know it’s summer but maybe she can put it in the syllabus and the students can see a good example of why the english language is not failing in this time of internet blogging. i actually checked all the punctuation and i thought a comma could have come after funny here, ” anything is funny is a sign of weakness” but i understand that i am just being anal and trying to pick holes in the overly perfect image i have of you for writing this tirade. i love it. thanks a lot!
July 26th, 2009 at 11:41 pm
I’ll post a comment just for the sake of it at this point.
Don’t read the comments unless you get some
profound sense of satisfaction from being angry.
July 26th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
It’s so funny how many people leave a generic “Yeh Sean I pley WoW an I agree wit you lol everyone else is so dum lololol” with the two simultaneously underlying messages of arrogant dissociation from the community they’re a part of, coupled with an irritatingly unsubtle sycophantic attempt to brown nose a cracked celeb.
I didn’t think either article was particularly amazing, you’ve done some pretty good work in the past, but these two articles just seemed a little ranty to me and very hit and miss. I guess I may have missed the joke.
July 26th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
ok … so i read this article and the warcraft one … i also have my own characters and play the game regularly … but i loved both the articles and agreed with u on many points … i dont take warcraft like its a life lesson or something retarded …. its a game … i enjoy playing it and think its fun … but there are lots of dicks and idiots and losers so yeah ur articles are true for about 95% of all the players lol … keep up the good work its all super awesome lol
July 26th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
Dear Seanhomo,
I was going to read your entire Farticle but I decided i had better things to do. You article failed to mention that we often have weapons of the orient and kiss girls. You probably wounldn’t last one second in a honey elf’s den of standing. lollers/
Also, I have gingivitis. Did I just blow your mind?
July 26th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
hmm..he seems to be the most angry commenter…
http://celebfry.com/internet_commenters_magazine.html
July 26th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
World of Warcraft had it coming. They. Had. It. Coming.
July 26th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
lol.
Awesome.
July 26th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
lol, surprisingly creative stuff
didnt read the wow article, and i dont play it so i dont know what its about,but im sure that it was as funny as this one 
p.s. - you have my sympathys regarding the emails that you receive from angry commenters (i.e dumb fucks who have no sense of humor, and should keep their mouths shut if they dont have anything actually constructive to say.)
July 26th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
Wow, I never thought I’d see Seanbaby take random e-hate so personally. The ‘WOW Using Super Mario Bros.’ article is easily one of my top ten favorite pieces on Cracked, and I agree that folks getting butthurt over a comedy article need to lighten the hell up, but this IS the internet we’re talking about. Unjustified, profanity-ridden hate mail is par for the course. Dedicating an entire update to bitching out people who have bitched you out just seems… kind of bitter, honestly. I laughed, but it was the same kind of nervous, uncomfortable laughter you produce when one of your friends talks at length about burning down the building where he works with no trace of humor in his voice whatsoever.
Seanbaby, I love your writing. One of the things I love about it the most is your ability to shrug off just about anything and roll with the punches so well. Please hold onto that, and don’t let the faceless legions of idiots that make up 95% of the internet drag you down into the abyssal pits of constant anger and pettiness with them.
July 26th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
I’ve been reading your stuff for about a decade now, SB. (way back in the day when the website was the center of activity) I think you’re awesome, man. But maybe I’m biased…I can’t not love the man who created The Superfriends Page.
July 26th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
take it with a grain of salt,no need for an article.
your the author,they’re your readers.
this would of been funnier if it was all made up, instead you’d actually brought it upon yourself to create an entire article to criticize those who criticized you…sad but still funny.
btw WoW is like any other past time, just another way to escape the disappointments that come with life.
July 26th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
Bravo, sir, bravo!
July 26th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Wow, that was…pretty angry. I mean, the article was hilarious, and the pictures are brilliant, but I’m kind of surprised that they got under your skin enough to get you to post a rebuttal.
July 26th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Thank you author, you fun factory, you!
You punish those douche bags every way they deserve it and I will applaud from my cheap seats!
This Earth-monster has really, really enjoyed your smilies, Seanbaby.
I don’t know why, but the mix of beard lice and nesting birds on the face of a semi-dead WoW troll with a nice car has me giggling still!
July 26th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
“Written by someone who was never a part of a high quality end game raiding guild” They raid games? I’ve done that once, oh the spoils I got from raiding games. Pillaging games is great too. My guild was definitely at the “high quality end”. I still don’t get what he meant by “raiding”. Rating?
July 26th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Glorious.
And, yes, Two and a Half Men sucks. I say this from shameful experience.
July 26th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
”Did search and rescue dogs near your smell often think they’d found a dead body?”
Bwahahaha, I burst out laughing when I saw that!
July 26th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Ha! Fuck warcraft. I’m sick of those closet eaters trying to defend themselves. Seriously, fuck ‘em. They are slaves to the very mechanism of their unhappiness. A sad, preventable cycle. Go outside and fail in the daylight you worthless losers. At least then, when your weeping family buries you in that small crater they kindly call a grave with a crane and a bulldozer they can put “He/She tried” on your tombstone. BTW, guess what?!? In a couple of years, when the next game comes out, they’re gonna shut down the servers on that shit and all the sweet loot you gathered along the way, all the countless hours you could’ve been out getting laid, and your youth will all be a meaningless memory. So seriously, fuck you guys, you are wasting your lives and it offends me. It wouldnt piss on one of you if you were on fire, it would be a waste of piss.
July 26th, 2009 at 10:37 am
Well done.
July 26th, 2009 at 8:26 am
Obviously these critics of Seanbaby have never heard of him until he came to Cracked. His shit is hilarious. And plagiarizing AVGN?? AVGN has only been around for a couple of years idiot. He’s funny too though.
July 26th, 2009 at 5:02 am
Critic of his critics, hah. Rapemonkey is the best I’ve read in a while.
July 26th, 2009 at 4:52 am
What!?
Did I just fucking read “Stop plagiarizing the Angry Video Game Nerd”!!???
Plagiarism is the theft of words or claiming specific ideas as one’s own.
“Dey both dooz Internet stuffs ’bout video games!”
And Seanbaby had a site and magazine jobs writing funny game reviews before AVGN fucking existed. The entire Internet is about videogames anyway.
It would be like me kicking you door in while you were taking a shit and accusing you of plagiarizing MY asshole!
July 26th, 2009 at 4:51 am
Two days ago i was threatening death to anyone in my line of sight for not liking ghost busters.
July 26th, 2009 at 3:18 am
“Trust me, I’d love to stop acting like a little whiny girl, but it’s the only way your wife can get off. I think it’s because deep down… she’s still in love with you.”
This almost caused figurative milk to shoot out of my literal nose!
For the most part, those commenters who hate for no reason or because they have completely missed the point are just a waste of blood plasma, and should have their right to breathe oxygen revoked. Seriously, when the revolution comes (and that time is nigh….) these w@nkers will be the first against the wall.
Keep doin’ whut ya doin’ Seanbaby!
July 26th, 2009 at 3:03 am
So much hate, that was fun reading. I still maintain that you will never be able to top your Sims 3 article. That exists as one of my favorite online articles of all time.
I can’t help but think that whatever burning rage you had for these WoW nerds (or vice versa) I think the real issue here is how teh intrenets is ruining out ability to type and form coherent thoughts. We are one Kanye West blog away from expressing our desires with “Me want…”
See, I was going to make a dead baby reference in the metaphor for our typing but I didn’t because I iz learnded man!
I also frequently dress in silk panties and bras and lurk in chatrooms and convince homophobes to cyber with me, then when they finish I scream at them “Ha, you just had online sex with a boy who hates you!”
Classy place this here internet.
July 26th, 2009 at 2:31 am
I just remember Sturgeon’s Law, and it keeps me in good stead. Ninety percent of everything is crap– that seems to apply to people, too.
Yes, most WoW players are morons, but most people are, period. Really– all this nerd rage is ludicrous. Us poor nerds have been laughed at for so long that we really ought to have learned by now to just join the chorus.
July 26th, 2009 at 1:46 am
thas some funny shit man. well done. i thought your wow article was hilarity at its best.
July 26th, 2009 at 12:30 am
Stop plagiarizing the Angry Video Game Nerd.
July 25th, 2009 at 11:05 pm
This makes me want to write an angry comment, not because I’m offended, but because I desperately want to be included in your next article. So how about this:
Your face-burns smell like the backside of a Lite Brite that got dipped in a turd you virgin gay hat. But I want you to father my children. I bet you play with your balls more than you play World of Warcraft! Ha! That’s how much you know about balls…I mean…about World of Warcraft. Your balls are a warcraft?
Leaving angry comments is harder than it looks. I applaud all of the people included in this article for making stupid look so easy.
July 25th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
Bravo Seanbaby. Bravo.
July 25th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
And before I senselessly forget due to my rampant short term memory loss:
I still lol at the fucking butter thing. Damn it, you made me choke on my beer.
July 25th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Your article is one of the most clearly written, properly punctuated, and incredibly funny items that I have read in a long time. I look forward to reading more of your work!
July 25th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
Wow. I’m actually kind of surprised I didn’t hit this list.
Bets on next time, though!
July 25th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
who doesn’t like ghostbusters.especially the part where they get slimed or the giant marshmellow attackes them. if you don’t think this is funny then you seem to have lost your sense of humor some where. pac man was always afun game eating all those ghost and not gaining a pound’what a diet.now some of the mario brothers games were a little different like having to jump over things and getting shot at by odd things.but after several tries it’s easy to figure out what’s coming at you if you have payed the least attention to what you are doing and not takening a nap. and yes if you played the early games you should be able to figure out the pattern is,unless you have burned out all the little cells in your brain.
July 25th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
Simply fantastic man. Your comebacks are an inspiration to us all.
July 25th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
Now that’s funny.
And not a mencia joke to be found, I’m almost shocked he didn’t write himself in as a hate mail writer.
I’m glad I’m smarter then an 18 year old with carpal tunnel. It fills me with a sense of purpose and accomplishment.
July 25th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
I like this article. I’ve liked MOST of your articles, including the ones from EGM. Even there it was funny.
I’m actually surprised you got that much hate mail from the WoW-using-SMB article. I’ve played WoW (still would if I could) and I didn’t find your article offensive at all. It was what it was supposed to be: a joke.
And the person who told you to do a better job writing articles is an idiot? Who does he think he is, a published joke-article writer?
July 25th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
“I don’t care if you have tits dude, I’m not your personal trainer.”
Best. Retort. Ever.
July 25th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
I always enjoy Seanbaby’s articles, especially the ones that shed light into the cesspool pits that litter our culture.
WoW, or just about any MMORPG, players are already laughable to begin with, but the way they respond to criticism is hilarious.
July 25th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
Looks like your observations regarding their gaming habits on WoW did the trick! Thank you for allowing me to laugh at them not once, but twice!
Bravo, Seanbaby.
July 25th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
wow…these people are so damn serious. I’m just sort of amazed at people bragging about a raiding guild? WTF is a raiding guild? People gather online to raid things in a virtual world? That guy said they clear things out in one night….so he spends multiple hours on this endeavour? What an accomplishment, if only I wasn’t such a loser out mingling with real life fleshy human beings, god I suck. And the tits girl…..lol I can’t picture someone being jealous over NOT being accepted in a make believe land. I could totally get it if this shit was something you physically did in the real world far far from any computer….though I imagen itd be something like “Role Models” L.A.I.R.E.
July 25th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
Wow, someone’s a tad sensitive.
I admit, some of the examples were pretty damn obnoxious, but seriously? Way, way, over the top.
July 25th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
“RandomPerson Says:
July 25th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
Why do people bother commenting negatively on this, you just made fun of the assholes… you could say the same stuff on some of the comments here”
You might want to look up irony and sarcasm in the big book of definitions…
July 25th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
This post was obviously more a well-deserved bitchslap given to the numerous whiney nerd-ragers in our midst than an out-and-out funneh feature, so understandably, it reads as if it were a bit rushed.
But that said, the bit about “your wife’s sparkling alabaster asshole” had me in stitches. Keep it up
July 25th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
Why do people bother commenting negatively on this, you just made fun of the assholes… you could say the same stuff on some of the comments here
July 25th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
Damn nearly choked… advise don’t eat while reading the words ‘fucking some butter’ one of the funniest cracked articles ever.
July 25th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
THIS ARTICLE IS A SHIT DICK. DONKEY PUNCH YOU IN THE ANUS. FUCK SOME TITS LOSER.
July 25th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Screw you ASSbaby. Charlie Sheen is GAWD!
July 25th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Such a retarded number of comments, I’ve got to go full retard and add to this mess.
I’m going to magically speak for Seanbaby…
He doesn’t give a shit! Do you really think his feelings were hurt by the previous article’s comments? Or that any profound proclamations that have unearthed his writing motivations contain any meaning?
I’ve read all of his articles here, and I’ve come to the astonishing conclusion that it is almost as though he is being PAID to write for this website. And get this…sometimes people are inspired by something unusual they see, like a large number of irrationally angry commenters, and that is just enough material to use near deadline time.
I promise he is not crying because you don’t find his shit funny. And this article is in no way a defense against criticism, because the comments quoted are in no way valid.
He does not give a shit about my queer little defense either!
Both articles were pretty funny to me, and I’d hope that WoW players and dipshit commentors could appreciate the truths as well as the exaggerations.
These aren’t the best things he’s ever done, but only because over the years, he has written some of the greatest shit I have ever read. From EGM to the Superfriends, I’ve gotten more piss myself moments from Seanbaby than from all 3 seasons of Mr. Show, which is amazing.
You can call me commentor type 11, the nearly creepy longtime fan. I have balls, impressive, no?
July 25th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
Well played, well played.
I fucking love these articles.
Makes my work day fly.
July 25th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
yaay seanbaby!
July 25th, 2009 at 11:11 am
christ, I’m surprised at the amount of Cracked readers who can’t understand sarcasm.
Good article.
July 25th, 2009 at 10:37 am
viddle, stop commenting. just stop defending yourself. not because you didn’t like ONE article of SB you have to say all that, you know what? no one really cares about your freaking opinion. thank you
July 25th, 2009 at 10:17 am
very funny
July 25th, 2009 at 8:37 am
First time reader, and let me just say:
You are a God.
Your entire article is something that I compare to Michelangelo’s David.
Yeah. That good.
Man, I’ll sleep with you- fuck dropping hints of ‘I have tits’ and all that shit, skip to the sex. :p
July 25th, 2009 at 8:09 am
so many comments in 2 days!
July 25th, 2009 at 8:02 am
i would have to agree with meredith. just walk a cheetah around the stage while someone juggles chainsaws, and you have yourself a badass show. AND you get to work in life lessons!!!
July 25th, 2009 at 7:55 am
a tampon machine in a Blood Elf sorority…I had to read that twice before I got it, but that was pretty great. Unfortunately, I cannot share this joke, as I have no friends who are fans of both World of Warcraft and menstruation jokes.
July 25th, 2009 at 7:45 am
You also forgot the Professor on the Soapbox.
You know, the guy who cant help but pick apart your article like an amateur psychologist who just got themselves a brand new thesaurus for their birthday.
Great article Sean.
July 25th, 2009 at 7:21 am
Holyshitbuckets, that’s a LOT of comments.
The effect you had on those who’ve already commented makes me think you should take this on the road.
“SeanBaby’s traveling circus of Angry Commentors…and also things on fire”
Big bucks I tell you….big bucks.
May I request an article illustrated by Tapper next?
July 25th, 2009 at 6:59 am
“OK, angry foreigner, if we’re going to be imagining each other as things, you’re the candy striper who has to wash me before I’m loaded into trucks. While you hungrily change my gigantic diaper, one of your probing sponge strokes finds the skeleton of a cat in one of the meat pockets between my armpit and seventh love handle. It was your cat, missing for weeks. In that moment you realize you never gave yourself a chance to cry. You sob like what your people call a poof, and I take a bite out of your stupid fag arm.”
You obviously read comments, so I want you to know how brilliant that was. Honestly.
July 25th, 2009 at 6:48 am
You forgot number 11.
The Insecure commentator. After authoring an unoriginal and only slightly funnny article attacking a group of people that any retard with an IQ over 30 could easily make fun of, this person finds it necessary to write another article identifying all those who thought his attempts at humor were not even as funny as an infant spraying pee into the face of an unsuspecting parent, as nothing more than trolls. Convinced of their intellectual superiority, they often find it necessary to add a ridiculous number of metaphors that make no sense, but rather serve as an indicator to their pedomorphic sense of humor and inability to write anything without referencing masturbation and lots of genatalia.
Convinced that they understand the concept of irony, they often have no clue on how to translate that into satirical commentary, degrading sarcasm, dry wit, or even potty humor, so after failing at their attempt to target one of the most laughable populations in the world, online gaming, they instead attack the absolute easiest group of people…internet trolls.
July 25th, 2009 at 5:51 am
“I would like to return this malfunctioning humor device”
totally made the article.
July 25th, 2009 at 5:38 am
That last article was fantastic.. & this one is amusing as well. The investigation into the nature and behaviour of the troll is a really interesting & new study in psychology.
I was just reading ‘manugons’ post & while it is partially true, he is doing the trolls a favor by giving them attention, because no one else probably does. That one moment in the light is a deep learning experience
July 25th, 2009 at 5:11 am
Nice job SB
July 25th, 2009 at 5:06 am
Come on people, it wasn’t THAT funny. Most of you are just sucking up to SB because you’re afraid of being targeted as one of the above. Here’s an Angsty Unfunner for ya: This article should be called “10 ways to control people’s criticism through fear of being ridiculed”
July 25th, 2009 at 5:05 am
I don’t know if your original article was funny but this REALLY isn’t. Come on-this is just a series of random attacks towards people who critisize your sense of humour. And I can see why. I’ve never played wow btw, don’t really care but I was looking forward to funny and I got offended whining.
July 25th, 2009 at 4:38 am
Dear Seanbaby,
you are fucking hilarious. i’d love to read the article:
“so you;ve gotten your girl to play video-games, here’s how to get her go anal”
it was mentioned on the bitmob podcast and a particularly creative reader has signed you off as “sean-douche-bag-baby” hahaha
keep writing, your awesome.
kthanxbye
July 25th, 2009 at 4:19 am
“# Cheese Weasel Says:
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:50 pm
are you fucking faggot id rather cut of my dikc than read this n i didnt read it cos its not fukin funny u fat vacuous neighbours fan. just fact u no so much bout these coments means u probaby do it 2, this was almsto as bad sa every oher atricle youv maed, al of wich ive read. iv been trolling sinc i was 13, and i no not everythin fits into these catargies. all u did ther was insutl ur detracters in humores ways, y dont u get a girlfriend. by the way my balls are enormous.”
@ CheeseWeasel
HAHAHAHAHA, mate i think u fit into every single category in this article, wat happened to ur grammar man, u got more spelling mistakes than a 5yo, my grandmother types better than you, and she has no fingers!
Mate if u come back on here just to read slander about urself then comment about it, then your a stupid idiot, Seanbaby should make a specific category for people like you, i would call it ‘Fucked by Nature, the skid mark of commentary failure’ (take notes Seanbaby).
Seriously Cheese Weasel, ive played WOW before and i got bored (Have two lvl 80 charcters so im no noob), but not once did i get offended at any of the articles Seanbaby Posted, so my advice is, if u get offended by this either uninstal Firefox or ur Internet Browser that u use, Go onto WOW, Raid with some dicks and idiots that are stated in SeanBaby’s article AND CRY AS U COMPLAIN about this article. You are Pathetic at life and you dont even deserve the eyes in your head to read anything off Cracked! Go die!
Thankyou :]
P.S Use grammar so ur comment doesnt look as stupid as you are!
July 25th, 2009 at 3:45 am
Rule # 1 of teh internetz:
Dont argue with trolls, it means they win.
Amazing article though!
July 25th, 2009 at 3:21 am
ah seanbaby fucking awesome work again… i play wow and read your last article and couldnt stop laughing… its strange to think people that stupid exist… oh well keep this up its brilliant
July 25th, 2009 at 2:59 am
You’d think that WOW players would have been the ones who most appreciated Seanbaby’s article. They are the ones who have to deal with the people he wrote about. Oh well, the internet is a crazy place were nothing makes sense and everything is personal. Great articles Seanbaby. Keep up the great work.
July 25th, 2009 at 1:50 am
The internet is full of Ad hominem
July 25th, 2009 at 12:15 am
wow, it’s like a flamer who has his own column. I agree though, these people are everywhere, doesn’t mean the receiving end doesn’t deserve it.
July 25th, 2009 at 12:00 am
@Cybertooth
Fuckin’-A, an old school SB fan! Hell yeah, we need to all get on here to give him the respect he deserves. When all the comments on his Cracked articles are nothing but fans, then I’ll be a happy, happy person. Still wish he had the forums up on his own site, though. Damn, I had me some fun times on there.
I still wish he would have kicked Uwe Boll’s ass, even though Postal was kind of funny…
July 24th, 2009 at 11:57 pm
By the way…you all know Seanbaby is an accomplished Martial Artist, right? Because he is. A lot.
July 24th, 2009 at 11:33 pm
You ever wonder if those people watch a celebrity roast and think everyone is just being major assholes?
July 24th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
just trying to save some confusion [and thsi comment is probz one of teh better [cept that yasmin crap lol]]
=================
nspan Says:
July 24th, 2009 at 11:40 am
Demmagog:
You really think that this was an objective attempt to “engage the audience”? Deep down, can’t you see that this article is NOT up to usual SeanBaby (or Cracked in general) standards? Even if it was partially an attempt to mock internet trolling by replicating some of it at its worst (eg. “I f*cked* your mom!”), there’s a whole other side to the situation: Cracked readers (including myself) put SeanBaby on a pedestal after a string of brilliantly-written columns. We declared him the new messiah. That probably wasn’t fair of us, because it set the bar unrealistically high. And, inevitably, he finally churned out a less-than-stellar article (WoW/SMB), and it met with less-than-stellar fanfare. The knee-jerk response from WoW fanboys (and fangirl) certainly didn’t help, but I’m sure SeanBaby was prepared for that. What bruised his ego so badly is the fact that a good number of non-WoWers happened to agree that the comedy just wasn’t there.
At that point, big deal! They can’t ALL be zingers, right? (Neil Hamburger taught me that). SeanBaby could’ve just shrugged his shoulders and tried again. His choice to *relive* the whole ordeal and personally attack his detractors just came off immature and, more importantly, unprofessional.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m rootin’ for the guy. I just think he’s better than this. If he wants to “engage his audience,” as you say, I guarantee he can come up with more creative (and more humorous) ways of doing it
========================
go seanbaby
July 24th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
I should elaborate that I like WoW because I can play it with one hand while I stare at the back of my night elf… hey, Kokopure, got room for one more… I’ll be your mom. Your sexy anal mom. :X
July 24th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
You know what pisses me off more than anything? The “first!” people. Seriously, fuck those people.
That said, I thought both articles in question were funny, and from reading the comments on many articles, of yours and many others’, I fully understand your inspiration for writing this one. I know it’s not necessarily taking the “high road,” so to speak, but hey, the Internet is an infuriating place.
By the way, I’ve recently started playing World of Warcraft out of summertime boredom, and reading your other article did not make me one bit more inclined to attempt a 25 person raid. It’s not even a good idea in THEORY.
July 24th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
Stop whining about commenters, and die like a man!
July 24th, 2009 at 11:04 pm
I will admit though that my mom ate five mercury thermometers while pregnant with me because she couldn’t afford an abortion, and the thermometers were at the dollar store she worked at. I was offended and want you to learn the folly of your ways… so I did the intelligent thing and wrote a comment on the internet that you will never read. SCORE ONE FOR TEAM TILE!
try again later, Seandouchebagbaby! FACE!
July 24th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
Sorry, I was typing this while my boyfriend and I were cosplaying; I’m a sexy elf and he’s a vile human who comes up from behind. Also, with him coming behind me I don’t need to tuck back my junk so he can get off, and I can pretend I’m having sex with my father. Oh, the good old days…
July 24th, 2009 at 10:59 pm
Like they say..
“Arguing on the internet is like running in the Special Olympics…
Even if you win, you’re still retarded”
That goes to you dude. Sorry, but that was just a very unfunny article, better luck next time.
July 24th, 2009 at 10:55 pm
KoKopure, I think you’ll star in his article with an 11th type of hater. Also… “Thou?” are we in middle fucking earth? Though shalt speaketh thou own language. You works; I like that word.
July 24th, 2009 at 10:35 pm
eh, I really liked the Super Mario article, since WoW has sucked up too many of my friends, and rescuing them takes longer than I’d like
This one was less about humor, and more about spewing hate back at people who hate on thou. (it might be worth saying that if the people who hate-mail you are trolling you, you’re doing what they want.)
Additionally, while here and there in this article you did get a laugh out of me, the homophobia was too rampant for me to get much enjoyment or even respect for you as a comedian out of it.
Calling someone ‘faggot’ stopped being cool in fifth grade.
July 24th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
dude, world of warcraft is the GAYEST thing i have ever seen, good article tho man, i hate haters more than anything.
July 24th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Your right n64player, they do, they really do just keep comming bakc for more. Just keep feeding the fire guys. Up against true genius like SB keeps putting out, you dont stand a chance.
Great article as always, keep goin your on a roll.
July 24th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
Touche, Seanbaby. Touche.
July 24th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
Haha, they just keep coming back for more abuse. When will they learn? Nice work. XD
July 24th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
lol ownt
July 24th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
fuck you shit face, this sucked dick
July 24th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
Great article. Did I mention I have tits? Yeah. >.>
July 24th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
You sir, should take up a career in hip hop battles.
July 24th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
@Yasmin
Actually Sean really doesn’t have to reiterate what a worthless, sad sack of predictable hack you are. Being a /b/tard who needs lame memes to survive and communicate, you wouldn’t understand the concept.
He pretty much kicked the seven shades of shit out of you already and all the “microdicks”, “newfags”, “an heros” and other mind numbing Chanboy-slang won’t cover for your masochistic need to have it done again.
July 24th, 2009 at 6:43 pm
@Yasmin
July 24th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
@ KidHellion - agree 100%
July 24th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
GOLD…NO FUCK THAT PLATINUM STANDARD HATER BASHING ON I’VE SEEN IN AWHILE KEEP IT UP THIS SHOULD DEF BE A REGULAR COLUMN/ARTCLE!
July 24th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
I’ve never understood why anybody would attempt to insult a guy who has a picture of himself with Mr. T. That’s Mr. Fucking T!
July 24th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Good contribution Rise.
I’m sure the unfathomable super nova of creativity it took you and five of your closest buddies to forge that “C” at the start of my name earned you an honorary spot at the Idiot Round Table during the next Internet Jackass dinner and cocksucking benefit.
July 24th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
this was funny.
July 24th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
so i was gonna try and make an epic insult with an example of each group listed above and i realized… i’m still laughing too hard at the article. congrats man, you’ve rendered me creatively helpless :’) keep up the funny shit bro…btw i have a vagina…did that not just BLOW your MIND?
well at least i got one in there
July 24th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Amazing article. I found it hilarious. I just love how everyone thinks that you are attacking them at a personal level.
July 24th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
lolz i play wow and most people who play wow do suck at video games……like my mom who plays more then me
July 24th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
I laughed just at the comments alone, if people are that offended why can’t they just close the screen and do something else? Like play World of Warcraft!
July 24th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
I prefer DOB articles or Brockway articles. It’s alright, though, maybe you’ll find that sense of humor some day.
July 24th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
It is sad to know that such people exist. This was another funny article. I would love to have written this and send it to a few annoying individuals… In fact, I think I will just send a link. ^_^ Thank you!
Can’t wait to see what you write next.
July 24th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Very nice. Could have been better, but I like creative expletives alot. But you had some good shit. Keep up the good work. The Sims 3 shit was fucking hilarious.
July 24th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
holy shit! Don’t get your panties in a twist bud. SOMEONE’S a wee bit ticked off about internet fucktards. Look your articles aren’t too bad, do you get paid for this shit?
Cuz if you do HOLY SHIT! YOU ROCK! otherwise, PLAY WOW FUCK FACE
July 24th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
second time in a week that you’ve made me laugh my ass off
I almost cried when I read that Senator letter.
Keep up the great work
July 24th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Seanbaby, I have unconditional love for you. You make me laugh like a little school boy every freakin’ time. Please continue to ridicule these people for our amusement! There may be more of them than of us, but you’re funnier. They can go back to enjoying their Paul Blart: Mall Cop that they downloaded from the torrents or whatever the hell it is they enjoy.
Speaking of which, I downloaded and watched Straight Up from the torrents. “Give me back that headband!”
July 24th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Major kudos on “pwning” these haters. As a former WoW player who experienced a good majority of end-game, “advanced players” to noobs are generally what you described: ignorant, retarded cock bites. Keep on doing what you do man.
July 24th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Linked to my guild’s website for a laugh, just like the last one!
Hai APC!
July 24th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Awesome
July 24th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Have…. Have most of them tried to imply that their lives are somehow richer and more enlightened than Seans purely due to their WoW character?
Good work Sean, keep ‘em coming.
July 24th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
AWESOME! I fully agreed with your WoW article and I have been in a high end raiding guild. This article was great and is totally true for every forum. There are people who dont understand humor and just like to disagree with anything written about something they like.
July 24th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
I thought the last article was very funny, though I must say I am a little displeased with the amount of “potty language” this current article contains, however justified it may be. Those cunts.
July 24th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Thank you for writing this.
July 24th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
@Ebaum: he probably will, just as soon as he writes one about your micropenis, newfag.
July 24th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
The fun part is that all of those folks are the inspiration behind the Learning with Mario bit. I hope they get incensed over this one too; the fruits of hate-mail based hate-mail is likely to be just as sweet.
July 24th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
That … was hilarious. Please consider a regular column in which you do nothing but create additional assholes right next to the existing assholes of people who send in hate mail! In addition to your other stuff, I mean.
July 24th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Your last two articles have left my face sore from laughing.
My little brother thinks there’s something wrong with me because Ive been laughing out loud for the past hour or so.
please write more articles soon!
July 24th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
It’s amazing how people get so worked up over a few jokes made about something they do. Saying all WoW players are completely devoid of a real social life is like saying all people who eat are fat asses. Obviously it isn’t true. If someone makes a fat joke about people who like to eat, I’m not gonna drag my skinny ass over to the computer to tell my life story and how it completely defies the jokes made. Pull you heads outta your vaginas, it’s just an article.
July 24th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
seanbaby’s not as funny as he was in egm. i think he has too much freedom with foul language, and much of the humor is getting lost.
July 24th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
I like DOB better
July 24th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
fucking awesome. the deep down still in love wife got me fired from work. youre the man seanbaby
July 24th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Every WOW player asinine enough to take the last article seriously and personally should make Warcraft their ONLY world for the next few days until their bodies’ need for nourishment and waste expulsion cuts them from our world, the World of Worldcraft, forever.
Also, it’s funny how you can identify textbooks examples of these haters in the comments TO THIS VERY ARTICLE. It’s like they did it on purpose.
July 24th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
The only thing more enjoyable than reading the previous mockery of WOWfags is watching them flail impotently in fantasy nerdrage as they try to strike back.
July 24th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
You’re on a roll. It bears mentioning that every WoW player that bitched is probably exactly what you were describing (especially the ones who assured you that they were in uber-leet raid guilds).
July 24th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
You rock. Put somethin in their mouth they didnt want in there.
July 24th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Cheese Weasel!
Too funny man!! Between this one and the WoW SMB tutorial I’ve been laughing so hard I was crying and now my boss thinks there’s something wrong with me.
Thanks for making it a fun Friday!!
July 24th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
After reading this article, I officially want to be a Seanbaby when I grow up.
July 24th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
I used to play wow, and still do every once in a while on a friends account, but i thought his article was hilarious..its depressing to hear everyone lump all wow players into a category of overly sensitive fat-bodies. i consider myself a fairly normal person with no personality or social disorder to speak of, and i still have a sense of humor, and i know people similar…not all wow players fit the sterotype people.
that said, seanbaby you’re awesome and dont listen to all these haters…just keep doin your thing man.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Two problems: One, he writes that he keeps a folder containing batological attempts at humour, yet cracked.com has a formulaic approach to tackling subjects.
Secondly, he writes that he finds wild shot in the darks in coming to terms with detractors to be miserable, yet employs them himself… Perhaps with a hint of irony?
Thirdly, he appears to have no recompense for critics… It appears bitter, but I’m sure its done in jest.
I am a WoW player and found aspects of the article quite amusing, though this article looks to be in paranoia.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Seanbaby, I meant to add that you’ve apparently gotten inside their heads and kicked their head’s asses too.
(Yeah, I love your old site…)
July 24th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
this is genius…and the people who think seanbaby was actually wounded by any of these comments is hilarious. just take the lesson that you will never beat him in a war of words…or face punches.
its too bad the site fucked up the views…seems like it reset a coupla times. i smell sabotage.
rock on, seanbaby.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
This shit is kinda pathetic. Seriously, is this what you do when 15 year old virgins crush your soul?
July 24th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
What kind of trolls are you sleeping with that you can get poon and work on your Warcraft material at the same time?
Ghostbusters. I don’t want to sound like a nerd, but I’ll learn how to masturbate in Klingon before I put my dick in something that can’t have fun watching Ghostbusters.
Aha always coming up with the goods
July 24th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
Hell yeah, SeanBaby! Go get ‘em!
I love seeing how pissed off the WoW nerds get at something as funny as A JOKE. Nothing against WoW and people that play it, I just can’t stand the people who can’t take a joke and have to avenge their internet reputation by flaming the shit out of anyone who says something their super intellectual minds don’t agree with.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
If I wasn’t a straight man, I’d kiss you right on the mouth Seanbaby!
I’m loving how everything you’ve stated here is coming true, yet again, in the comments section below. The truth obviously hurts.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Under yourmumismyepicmount or whatever, I think you forgot to change the font on the second half of his comment.
Otherwise, awesome article.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Not a bad post, but you did check to make sure no one else made a list like this previously right?
Because they did. On this site.
And it wasn’t as bitter and “Fuck You I’m Awesome!” as yours.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Is it me or are all of these people who are talking shit now easy to categorize? Just a thought.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
@Yasmin: no one cares about your fake tits, drag queen. seanbaby should write an article about your sex change lol
July 24th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
“I can’t really tell a guy to suck my balls when he’s already lurking under my toilet in a wetsuit screaming at them while I shit on him.”
Call me sick, but I like that. Damn it, I do!
July 24th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
I really have no previous opinion of WOW or the author of this article but it seems like he got his feeling hurt by the comments section and took of the role of a kid throwing a tantrum and making your momma jokes. I don’t expect a lot from cracked but I would think that making fun of your own readers is a bad idea, no?
July 24th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Guess what L: he’s not desperate to prove he’s better than them. He IS better than them. Anyone who isn’t a goddamn troll is better than them. So, that doesn’t include you.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Seanpussy, there is no point slamming all those commenters in a giant article, because that said article just shows how butthurt you are.
And oh yeah I have tits. *gaspy gasp* Are you going to write antoher article about them?
July 24th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Seanbaby, you are fucking awesome…keep up the good work. You are my favorite here at cracked and i loved the mario/WoW article!
July 24th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
I can’t believe you actually got THAT much shit from people about that article. I thought it was hilarious… and I play WoW. In fact, I don’t see why any semi-literate player with a sense of humor wouldn’t find the article at least amusing. This article did come off as slightly bitter though. However, the Pac-Men kept me mildly entertained, so no issue, really.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
meh
July 24th, 2009 at 11:53 am
I guarantee anyone who says they don’t get it or it isn’t funny is one of the people listed above.
July 24th, 2009 at 11:41 am
This all creates an interesting point. The sheer number of e-mail and comment stupidity coming from the WoW player base indicates an average IQ level of absolute zero across the game. Given the amount of people that play the game, this creates a very depressing image if we use it as a sample population.
July 24th, 2009 at 11:40 am
Demmagog:
You really think that this was an objective attempt to “engage the audience”? Deep down, can’t you see that this article is NOT up to usual SeanBaby (or Cracked in general) standards? Even if it was partially an attempt to mock internet trolling by replicating some of it at its worst (eg. “I f*cked* your mom!”), there’s a whole other side to the situation: Cracked readers (including myself) put SeanBaby on a pedestal after a string of brilliantly-written columns. We declared him the new messiah. That probably wasn’t fair of us, because it set the bar unrealistically high. And, inevitably, he finally churned out a less-than-stellar article (WoW/SMB), and it met with less-than-stellar fanfare. The knee-jerk response from WoW fanboys (and fangirl) certainly didn’t help, but I’m sure SeanBaby was prepared for that. What bruised his ego so badly is the fact that a good number of non-WoWers happened to agree that the comedy just wasn’t there.
At that point, big deal! They can’t ALL be zingers, right? (Neil Hamburger taught me that). SeanBaby could’ve just shrugged his shoulders and tried again. His choice to *relive* the whole ordeal and personally attack his detractors just came off immature and, more importantly, unprofessional.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m rootin’ for the guy. I just think he’s better than this. If he wants to “engage his audience,” as you say, I guarantee he can come up with more creative (and more humorous) ways of doing it.
July 24th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Your response to the insecure biographer is easily the most brutally hilarious thing I’ve seen on cracked in months.
July 24th, 2009 at 10:55 am
hey, explaining sex using the sims might had potential. you should try it, seanbaby.
July 24th, 2009 at 10:54 am
by writing an article as such you have nullified any insults that you have gotten and might get, by labeling them and by showing that you can write a humerous article based souly on insulting them.
also
Tits
July 24th, 2009 at 10:49 am
I could give a crap about that game, but if you’re going to get so upset at nerds slamming you that you make a Cracked article about it, try to be funny.
You come off as desperate to prove you’re better than them. You failed.
July 24th, 2009 at 10:41 am
Seanbaby,you are a warrior poet ,those were the most finely crafted insults i’ve ever read!
July 24th, 2009 at 10:35 am
WoW nerds are the absolute worst when it comes to taking insults. They feel the need to absolutely go apeshit whenever somebody so much as mentions not liking WoW. And you know what the problem is?
Seriously, do you? Cause I don’t fucking get the big whoop over a second job. And because I know somebody is going to respond/think “Well if played in moderation…”: there’s a major problem with that. When you play that thing, if you have a spare hour you’re like “Well, might as well just level up once more” and end up taking two hours. I have no idea how many times I did that before I realized this game was boring as hell.
Also nice post seanbaby, I’m glad you didn’t insult grammar or capitalization. Would have cheapened the whole article for me.
July 24th, 2009 at 10:29 am
Funny stuff. People who play WOW deserve to be criticized endlessly. Most of them are a little awkward socially to begin with, and have only become more so as a result of prolonged exposure. I have lost friends to this game, and even the on and off players I am still friends with disappear for weeks at a time during playing sessions. It is really sad.
I’m actually surprised so many WOW players comment on WOW bashing articles, because that means they aren’t in the game, doing raids or looting or whatever it is they do for hours on end.
July 24th, 2009 at 10:20 am
My dick is pleased. Also; poop fuck.
So many comments already.. Look how many in comparison to the last article.. also compare views. So many butt hurt people here.
Seanbaby, I’m being your life coach here… if you want to make it big, keep baiting out the ten types. You’re going to reach critical mass and explode into everyone’s everyday life soon enough.
Can you use Contra to explain why nobody loves me?
July 24th, 2009 at 10:14 am
Hey everyone check out Jason Clitzau who attempts to build self esteem through an internet savvy superiority complex.
Way to hit the digital world with some knowledge, bro!
also dick riders club.
July 24th, 2009 at 10:13 am
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
This was even better than the article you made about WoW. Nice one dude!
July 24th, 2009 at 10:13 am
please for the love of god no more articles like this. Right now I get funny articles and can skip over the comment section because, well, its generally artarded as you pointed out here. Now you’re forcing me to read comments. Srsly, fucking stop right now.
July 24th, 2009 at 10:11 am
Leave trolling to EDiots and /b/tards, you aren’t any good at it.
In an unrelated note, I would love to see an article about sex using the Sims! Although there might actually already be an article about that now that I think about it…
July 24th, 2009 at 9:57 am
It’s funny because scrolling through the comments section you can actually identify each species. Brilliant. Also, the following comment made me piss my pants from laughing so hard:
# VulpaLupa Says:
July 24th, 2009 at 12:36 am
This was so funny, and I agree with you about the ten catagories. And so do my tits.
July 24th, 2009 at 9:57 am
Highly amusing. Your article reminded me not only of why I don’t play WoW, but tend to avoid online gaming in general. It seems like people lose that part of their personality that tempers their statements into something resembling an intelligent and civilized statement.
I’ve know several WoW players very well and have spoken to dozens more; most of them seem highly sensitive to any criticism of their time sink of choice, which I can understand to an extent. However, a great deal of them seem to be addicted in a way that they don’t even realize they are addicted, or worse, don’t care. I avoid this game and ask anyone who expresses interest in starting it to steer clear, it reminds me of an addictive drug in that it consumes your life, relationships and sometimes your job and can make you cranky or just downright anti-social.
July 24th, 2009 at 9:47 am
I wouldn’t say no! Actually there’re lots of sexy big&tall men and woman on __^^^^Tallloving C om ^^^^__; and they are actually dating beautiful big&tall people there! now I start believing no weight&height gap is too wide in fron of true love!
July 24th, 2009 at 9:33 am
case in point, wow will ruin your life. if you have kids, it’ll ruin their lives too. fun fact, i don’t know anyone who plays wow who doesn’t also have some sort of debilitating pesonality disorder. it’s fucking quite sad really…
July 24th, 2009 at 9:32 am
Those were some savage comebacks Seanbaby. But honestly, all of those haters deserved it. I have a slight feeling that just a few of them may have cried themselves to sleep shortly after they read those replies. Anyway, I agree with you completely. Those who were offended by your article on WoW know nothing of true comedy. It’s a sad world we live in when people try their hardest to defend a videogame, an MMO to make things worse, while also making an attempt to roast the offender. Further proof that people who play wow religiously and never think about giving the game break, are retarded.
July 24th, 2009 at 9:32 am
Please let me have one of your Seanbaby babies?
I love how, judging by the comments, only about five people seemed to understand the whole joke part of the article…
July 24th, 2009 at 9:26 am
Great burns, all the way.
Excellent insults.
Sweet article.
July 24th, 2009 at 9:25 am
Hilarious article that can easily be applied to things outside of WoW.
Seanbaby, I *would* actually like to see more of this kind of things. The comments section of Cracked.com articles alone could be the basis for an entirely new brand of internet comedy - Troll Bashing!
July 24th, 2009 at 9:17 am
Meh.
July 24th, 2009 at 9:04 am
Seanbaby strikes back!
- 100’s of noobs pwnd!
Just a headline for the story I’d be using when editing my imaginary newspaper this article will be appearing in.
Also, I can’t believe people are so ready to dive right into one of these categories after JUST READING THIS ARTICLE.
Don’t believe me? Scroll down.
See?
Retarded.
July 24th, 2009 at 9:04 am
I have an opinion of your article and somehow it matters what I think… Like you write your articles for our feedback or advise?
Thanks for the laughs and carry on.
July 24th, 2009 at 9:01 am
HarryBalz008, GREAT! That just changed my world!
July 24th, 2009 at 9:00 am
Hahaha! That’s a hatefull article! that’s funny people getting angry with small shits. C’mon, let’s spread pieces of love!
And I have tits… And I know that’s not even important… Hahahaha
July 24th, 2009 at 8:57 am
I don’t have tits, but I got a boil on my ass that kinda looks like a nipple. So it makes my right ass cheek look like a hairy tit.
July 24th, 2009 at 8:53 am
Great article.
July 24th, 2009 at 8:19 am
I play WoW. I liked both articles. /shrug
July 24th, 2009 at 8:18 am
Great article. Fuck those douchebags, keep writing I need some good things to read when i’m bored in class
July 24th, 2009 at 8:08 am
Way to get a ton of comments on your article. Nice!
July 24th, 2009 at 8:02 am
That’s great Now how the hell do I post some thing with out sounding like one of those imbeciles *scratches head*.
July 24th, 2009 at 7:56 am
Man, I like your articles but this was shit. How’d you let a bunch of pathetic goblins get to you so bad?
Chill out and take these little fuckers in your stride cause the anger that was so fucking apparent here was a little embarrassing.
July 24th, 2009 at 7:55 am
seanbaby…. i think you’re funny. and i have tits.
July 24th, 2009 at 7:48 am
I wish you would make an article called Explaining Intercourse with the Sims.
July 24th, 2009 at 7:43 am
Fuckin hell.
Ok, i don’t normally read Seanbaby’s articles, but this one looked interesting.
It’s basically him getting butthurt that some people didn’t like his last article. Grow up, dude.
July 24th, 2009 at 7:43 am
Either way warhammer is better.
July 24th, 2009 at 7:37 am
hm, i don’t usually leave comments, but i figured i’d say that i thoroughly enjoy all of your articles, and it’s unfortunate that people who do not need to tell you, well, the you’ve just described. =)
July 24th, 2009 at 7:34 am
I really find the people knocking this article to be hypocrites. Apparently the only people who say what they please without repercussion are the trolls themselves. Seanbaby needs to be chastised for fighting back but these people don’t bother chastising the trolls.
I for one, love this. It humiliates these little chicken shitted bastards and puts their idiocy on display and regardless of what they might say, it’s not what they want.
Especially PuddleofAIDS who personifies the trite, banal, “internet” humor moron. Fag, fail and AIDS: pretentious buzzwords used by jackasses who think they’re funny.
Seanbaby is in his right to fire back at people who insult him. In the real world you don’t talk out your ass without a foot plugging it shortly after. If you truly think the internet isn’t real, you need to put the fucking keyboard down and get professional help.
Morons like these deserve to be put on display, to be mocked.
July 24th, 2009 at 7:32 am
This was a kind of article that I only read because I know Seanbaby wrote it, and by the detachable balls of Frankenstein, you could deliver this to the bank and get fucking money, dudes!
I wish there was a button to give hugs through the internet
And people who use poon as a word for vagina, has probably never even touched one without having their finger stopped by their computer screen
July 24th, 2009 at 7:30 am
Not your best one, but still pretty goddamn funny. The best part is what a sore spot you hit with the WoW kids. Kudos!
July 24th, 2009 at 7:18 am
I thought Viddle’s comment was pretty good.
Though tbh, that was worse than the original article. It was shit really. Now we’ve just gotta see if he does ANOTHER article hurling lame insults at people who say nasty things about his articles lol.
July 24th, 2009 at 7:16 am
excellent
July 24th, 2009 at 7:13 am
As a huge geek and an animal rights activist, it’s really easy to make fun of things I care about. Yet I keep reading CRACKED articles. Why? Because I have a FUCKING SENSE OF HUMOR! Why do people take themselves so seriously?
July 24th, 2009 at 7:11 am
I’m a WoW addict and Seanbaby is fucking hilarious. If you don’t get the joke, you probably spend more time crying into your My Little Pony pillow than laughing at the genius produced by Cracked’s team of Hyper-intelligent Space Heroes.
July 24th, 2009 at 7:10 am
Damn, I don´t fit in any of the mentioned catergories. Does that make me a misfit?
July 24th, 2009 at 7:07 am
This may be the greatest pixel art I’ve ever seen.
July 24th, 2009 at 6:58 am
God damn, people sure do like sucking Seanbaby’s dick. Did all of you follow him from his old site, or did you just decide that his interesting brand of comedy (jokes without any inherent humor) is the text equivalent of the second coming?
July 24th, 2009 at 6:53 am
Excellent series of articles, SB. Anyone that gets their panties in a bunch over this really needs a life-check.
Although I quit the game, I get my daily dose of hilarity on the WoW forums. They never disappoint.
July 24th, 2009 at 6:35 am
Fuck, I fucking hate it when people leave long, boring ass comments. I read the first sentence, realize it’s gibberish and skip to the next comment. Understand that almost no one is reading your half novel in the comments section if it’s longer than 3 sentences. dipshits
July 24th, 2009 at 6:31 am
Fuck me they just keep coming and coming, like you opened a pandora’s box for all the rage addicted lunatics who cling to the safety of internet anonymity. It amazes how far people will go to feign intelligence and character, not that I have either one, but at least I know when to keep my mouth shut every now and then…
July 24th, 2009 at 6:30 am
Heh. Great counterattack, Sean.
July 24th, 2009 at 6:25 am
Your WoW article was hillarious man, I played that shit for so long my eyes barely work now. So fuck anybody who didn’t get that shit.
July 24th, 2009 at 6:07 am
Some really good stuff in the comments here. I’m going to attempt to combine all 10 comments into one piece.
U no pussy getting homo, you playd wow and no bash people who do so your the same as tehm dumass. I cant evn take u srsly, I HAVE TITS. tHIS article was dum like you, idiot, LEAVE. not funny, not FUNNY!! fgt. EPIC FAIL fatty! what does your BASEment smell like? cause you must smell it A LOT! cause ur ALWAYS DOWN THER. Try geting some girls like i do! rofl, u cudnt rite an artivle if you tried, next time try bashing sometin like halo LMAO.
July 24th, 2009 at 6:04 am
“This wasn’t that funny, I don’t get why everyone’s shitting their pants over ”
That’s because you’re a cunt
July 24th, 2009 at 6:02 am
Still, this article is hilarious.
July 24th, 2009 at 6:00 am
To Viddle: Gah, us old pen and paper foggies seem to be a dying breed. I chose to stop at second edition, because 3rd edition thru 4th edition felt like I was playing a paper version of Diablo II (yes, I have tried them all, even shitty 4th). While that game is awesome, yes, I play video games for one reason, and pen and paper rping games for another…and never the two should mix. It’s almost kinda funny, but my generation grew up with such a stigma associated with the game, that I’m now a closet gamer. By day I do patrol with my partner, weight-lift, and ride a chopper. By night, only my closest of friends know I play D&D (because they play with me =p)! I know the reason for mixing the two was to dissolve that stigma and pull in new blood, but perhaps it’s time to move back towards it’s tride and true origins. But, alas, that will never happen. =(
July 24th, 2009 at 6:00 am
Everything about this article is great, except for the childish replies to the comments. You’re a comedy writer. Why are you regurgitating “yo momma” jokes?
July 24th, 2009 at 5:49 am
I don’t care how many times people make fun of WOW, every time I read something like this, I laugh my ass off. Especially when they angrily comment about how you’re jealous because you “aren’t in a good guild, noob”. It just makes me feel that much better about my own life. Seriously though, that game blows.
July 24th, 2009 at 5:46 am
@ Lukus:
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/satire
July 24th, 2009 at 5:14 am
Never played WOW myself. But this was pretty amusing. I liked the Amateur Communicator best.
July 24th, 2009 at 5:11 am
Your articles should be prescribed as a drug for people with depression
July 24th, 2009 at 5:05 am
Got to go with Viddle on this one: too long and not enough funny.
Seriously though, this seemed a little like shooting fish in a barrel. They can’t really defend themselves (though you are defending yourself) and your response to them is much more visible than their comment was before you quoted it. Attacking people who leave comments is kind of picking the low-hanging fruit, you know? Everyone who leaves a comment is a total moro- awww…
July 24th, 2009 at 4:46 am
Seanbaby, I have to admit, this is journalistic genius. You picked a topic in WoW that was sure to generate quite a list of hate mail, based on the nature of MMORG players, then come about the next week with a snappy article on the comments the first one generated. It wouldn’t surprise me if you had the idea for the second article first, and wrote the initial one for the basis of gaining the required material to riff on. Well done.
July 24th, 2009 at 4:33 am
Oh this article is great. Even better is how all these WOW gimps took the bait, well flies are attracted to shit. Nice work Seanbaby.
PS: I have a penis, Does that just blow your mind!!
July 24th, 2009 at 4:26 am
YOU ARE A CHEESE-EATING WEASEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
July 24th, 2009 at 4:24 am
I think your articles are great. Im a high level WoW player and I thought your WoW by Super Mario Bros article was hilarious, not insulting. Every WoW player I have shown thought it was funny. People are just overreacting or only fire up out of boredom.
Keep up the good work!
July 24th, 2009 at 4:19 am
You know I’m really glad I read this before I read the WoW one (for any people who can’t realize something that is obvious to most, I did go back to read it before making this comment). Most people on World of Warcraft are completely retarded, assholes. I think your actually giving them a comment in how you talk about them. I played on free servers for a while and everyone there was much worse. My dad played the game with me and while we were level seventy (highest level at the time) we went in raids. Me, my dad and my brothers were all in the same guild, people could see that, we grouped with another guild and one lone guy. The one lone guy said kick the greeny (my dad) told us half the people sucked and should be kicked, and personally bitched out me, for specing my mage in fire not arcane cause he was an arcane mage and “thyr teh best 1z” even though I was literally the third highest ranking mage in the server and he was in the seventies. My dad got us all retail wow cards because he liked playing with us and cause apparently people weren’t as big assholes. When his card expired he told everyone he was never going to by one again “cause everyone is still an asshole”. I had forty characters in retail because I always got bored and switched characters. My lowest level was seven and my highest was twenty one. At level twenty one I stopped questing and just played with the random events and special holiday items. The most fun I had in the game was playing with the tanks at the dark moon fair. The game is fun in moderation but so many people play it for several hours straight. Blizzard did a good job, people fucked it up. On one of my probably final comments since this is dragging on way to long, the mario thing was hilarious, and towards nolootsforthatkid, you probably didn’t know this but halo was made for the computer in the 90’s, before the x-box was made, and is still one of the greatest fps games their is, yeah the halo 3 campaign sucked, that’s why they’re making halo odst, saying halo isn’t a real fps is the same thing as saying dungeons and dragons isn’t an rpg. Even though so many people won’t read this cause it’s to long, or you don’t care, or you just can’t read grammer, I know someone’s gonna be a dick and ask me when the last time I went outside was or when the last time I saw a girl or had a friend or some retarded joke, I won’t be here to reply because I’m going camping with fifteen other people for a week, with no technology besides the vehicles driving us there, so I can’t listen to your replies. In advanced though (you know who you are) your a fucking retarded asshole. Later.
July 24th, 2009 at 4:12 am
Some good stuff in the comments.
Seanbaby, your articles have the most divided audience in the comments of all Cracked columnists. People either seem to really, really love you or completely despise you. I’m not sure why that is, but I think I must just not get your stuff, because I started reading Cracked 2 years ago, and the ONLY article I haven’t read entirely (often more than one) was one of your columns.
As I say, I think I must not get it, because to me this smacks of a meltdown. I hope that isn’t the case. I read the title and hoped for a general classification of these types of commenter, I think that could potentially have been good.
But I think, if you’re writing an article like this, the breakpoint comes when you call out specific comments, and mention commenters by name. To me at least, that just smacks of being offended.
Maybe this is funny in a way I don’t get, or maybe Brockway had it right and this was an easy way to make an article (maybe you left it too late?), but I really don’t find this kind of thing funny, and I don’t think its going too far to say even though others definitely do, as seen below, its out of step with the kind of humor people come to Cracked expecting.
PS. When I think about someone new to the site, reading this as the first article, I think at best they’ll be expecting the wrong thing from this site, or at worst be turned away and not give this great site a chance.
July 24th, 2009 at 3:44 am
ROFL. pwnt! fuck what everyone said that WoW article made my laugh so hard my balls exploded. and this one is just gold. just.. just amazing work. now lets say what those douchebags say in reply to them gettin owned on an article. even though just the fact you aknowledged their existance already turned their dicks into cum fountains. good job
July 24th, 2009 at 3:42 am
Good to know!
And thousands of sincere and serious tall people I met on
___Tallloving C om___ are the most amazing people I ever met! they care nothing but real love and chemistry! that’s what we are looking for in today’s world!
July 24th, 2009 at 3:31 am
Hilarious as always. Would have been a bit classier if you’d stuck to the creative analogies and avoided the high school-ish insults, but oh well, still great.
BTW, anyone who feels compelled to flame THIS article is stupid even by internet standards, which I think is equivalent to brain dead out in the real world.
July 24th, 2009 at 3:21 am
Viddle, all your bases are belong to seanbaby.
July 24th, 2009 at 3:20 am
I love the amateur commuter, it takes so long to even comprehend what they are trying to say. Anyways, your articles are great, despite what retarded commentors say =)
July 24th, 2009 at 3:20 am
Insulting your Cracked reader fanbase. What good business sense.
July 24th, 2009 at 3:18 am
I agree with GPS (”The previous article, on WoW, was good. This however, slips into ad hominem and childish rant, occasionally cracking a successful joke. Not worth it.”)
I enjoyed the WoW article, and this one probably would have been better had you not replied to the commenters.
July 24th, 2009 at 3:17 am
This article is a good argument for the abolition of message boards and comment sections on the internet.
Because fuck Freedom of Speech when people use the anonymity of cyberspace to act like dicks.
July 24th, 2009 at 3:14 am
@ Get Fucked Up
I’m sorry, I will not play a computer game for a million hours and beat the Intel Pentium Processor Level or whatever to prove how easy it is to press the same buttons on a keyboard over and over. Instead, I’ll make fun of said computer game that makes you sit around ant press the same buttons on a keyboard over and over, because the last I checked redundancy wasn’t equal to skill.
Unless we’re talking about masturbating, in which case I am the most skilled mother fucker in the world.
July 24th, 2009 at 2:53 am
Well done as always, sir.
July 24th, 2009 at 2:47 am
The previous article, on WoW, was good. This however, slips into ad hominem and childish rant, occasionally cracking a successful joke. Not worth it.
July 24th, 2009 at 2:44 am
C’mon, seanbaby, explain intercourse using sims.. I’d love to read that..
July 24th, 2009 at 2:44 am
I love the people who think it’s a good idea to flame this article. They crack me up. Also, the amateur communicator bit is pretty hilarious.
July 24th, 2009 at 2:42 am
lol hay gaiz.. um.. isnt it funny how he is liek so clrly the moast angry persn here? lol u wud think tht somene who rites artikles 4 the intrnet 4 so long wuld kno how 2 handl a ltlle trollin! rite lol?
July 24th, 2009 at 2:41 am
Great Article; i find it funny the people that were slandered are coming bak to post more comments which got them into this article in the first place, quite funny…
I didnt know u guys were that stupid, how about u drop it, Seanbaby kicked ur asses on internet, how embarrasing LOL
I just think the people that come bak to comment after being slandered by this article are little attention seekers that cant get laid in the real world because not one girl will even give them a sideways glance; that they need to comment about the article about their comment, get a life mate, although it is funny to read!
BTW this was @ Viddle LOL
Found a new category for these type of people i call it:
‘Fucked by Nature, the skid mark of commentary failure’ (take notes Seanbaby).
July 24th, 2009 at 2:38 am
Come on seanbaby…sometimes your articles lick choad. This was one of those times. What’s next? Explaining intercourse using the Sims. GO get some poon
July 24th, 2009 at 2:31 am
seanbaby lets internet fight
July 24th, 2009 at 2:30 am
Funny for the first two.
July 24th, 2009 at 2:16 am
@Viddle
Actually, I came back to say I’m not sorry.
July 24th, 2009 at 2:14 am
@ Viddle
Despite what your mother has been telling you all these years,
You are not funny enough to be a comic writer.
I’m sorry.
July 24th, 2009 at 2:13 am
…Damn, remind me to never troll you.
July 24th, 2009 at 2:11 am
Wow I went away for awhile after Seanbabys article, did my stuff after work and what do you know? Seanbaby is still awesome. Wow.
July 24th, 2009 at 2:11 am
Briliant rant. One of the best articles on cracked in the past month. The mario article also made me laugh, the guys that send e-mails like that are just WoW players that can’t accept the truth…
July 24th, 2009 at 2:06 am
You just immortalized Viddle. Now he’s desperately milking the validation given by the article. All his posts read like “look at me! I can laugh at myself just like you!”.
ps: You are one funny man Seanbaby.
July 24th, 2009 at 2:04 am
the important thing to remember when posting is that no one reading your comment gives a shit about what you have to say. Because who the fuck are you or I.
July 24th, 2009 at 2:01 am
lol it’s dumb to expect reasonable comments from anonymous internet users. stop whining!
July 24th, 2009 at 1:53 am
FUCKING HILARIOUS! SB, you are a goddamn legend
July 24th, 2009 at 1:44 am
not funny. and you should feel bad for being stupid.
July 24th, 2009 at 1:36 am
This was a very retarded article. It’s just not funny. You need to get some funny material or get the Hell outta Cracked.
July 24th, 2009 at 1:32 am
Loved the article, Seanbaby. Mainly because these categories apply to all critics in blogs and such. Especially in MySpace and Facebook. My particular fave is the ‘justification bitches.’ These are folks who sit their and play far into what’s being said and go completely off-topic, then come up with odd crap for justifying their incoherent ramblings.
It’s even more fun when these guys go off on another commenter, using the classic ‘you’re suppressing my freedoms and rights.’ Or claim they’re ‘making judgment calls,’ but never really say anything about the topic in general.
Ah, well, you gotta love the Internet, eh?
July 24th, 2009 at 1:15 am
Honestly, you’re hilarious, but I often won’t read all your articles. And by often, I mean just this one and the one it’s about. What I did read was funny, but I just couldn’t finish it.
THE PICTURES, ON THE OTHER HAND, WERE AMAZING.
“wut is labia”
July 24th, 2009 at 1:14 am
“I’ve yet to meet a WoW player who isn’t full of themselves, and as much as they want to fight it, you REALLY hurt them with your last article. And, like the bully we know you are, you took their meager attempts at redemption, and hurt them even worse.”
O yeah man, I’m fucking reeling.
Yeah you get to grand finals at the Intel Classic and tell me the game takes no skill, fucknut.
July 24th, 2009 at 1:14 am
Reading the comments to the WoW article actually got me reminiscing about the good old days of Sean ripping new assholes in fools, but I wasn’t sure you’d be launching any of your epic rebuttals on Cracked. Thanks for the surprise!
July 24th, 2009 at 1:14 am
I knew that WoW blog was gonna serve up massive doses of butthurt.
July 24th, 2009 at 1:10 am
Wow this article was really bad. I mean man, the cringe that had to be made every “your mom” your wife” I heard made me vomit. I wish Seanbaby wasn’t 10 years old so I could be on his side. I hate “wow” and i would back seanbaby on subject but in an argument, if I heard him say those things I would back out in embarrassment. I could have sworn i was reading an ED article.
Why in the world did he need to make an article about his response to some idiots comments. What narcissistic fulfillment/pleasure was he getting from this. Does he want me to say “OMG SO PWNED YOU LAID DOWN THE LAST WORD, THE SWAIM DOESN’T HOLD A CANDLE TO YOU”.
I seriously doubt this was to just make an article of good points like most on cracked. This was an a temped to certify your self as a good comedian or joke writer.
July 24th, 2009 at 1:10 am
I really hope I do not actually fit into any of these categories, as this is not a “hate” or “angry” comment. While I did thoroughly enjoy this article, I confess to having to read it twice in order to determine where the commenter quote ended and the author response started. Eventually I determined that the break occurred when the poor grammar and txt spk stopped! Maybe a different font would’ve made it easier on a casual reader.
Oh dear, I think I’ve just worked out where I may have fitted into the list….
July 24th, 2009 at 1:08 am
Damn man, this rant was great. I’m a Warcraft player and I thought the article was hilarious! It’s jokes people, lighten up.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:54 am
Get ‘em, Seanbaby
July 24th, 2009 at 12:53 am
You know what?
I think this just about sums up the entire population of Digg and every high school ‘cyber bully’ currently abusing some poor 13 year old through myspace. I also find it pretty hilarious that PuddleofAids replies with a simple FUCK YOU, as if he couldn’t manage a ‘funny’ enough reply.
This is one of the best articles I’ve read in ages
July 24th, 2009 at 12:51 am
Seanbaby, people don’t get it. I know what you are…it’s obvious. You’ve said it yourself. You’re ‘a fratboy who plays videogames and if you’re not holding a beer, you’ve recently spilled on on you”.
I’ve yet to meet a WoW player who isn’t full of themselves, and as much as they want to fight it, you REALLY hurt them with your last article. And, like the bully we know you are, you took their meager attempts at redemption, and hurt them even worse.
But see, that’s what makes you great. Being really funny isn’t something you do to make people laugh. You have to keep yourself on your toes, you’ve gotta be on the top. If you can’t entertain yourself, then what the hell is the point? And I can tell you have high standards for your comedy. I’m the same way.
I’ve posted a handful of comments in these sections, but it’s high time I took the place that I deserve. You’ve driven me to this, Seanbaby. I want in. I want part of the action. I know I’m better than these losers here, and it’s high time I prov-
Er, I mean…These wonderful Cracked Readers…Yeah. Anyways, I’m signing up. I want to write for Cracked. And I will.
Balls.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:47 am
ps all cracked columinsts should do this once a month!!!!! im serious PLEASSEEE i have no soul
July 24th, 2009 at 12:47 am
“# Cheese Weasel Says:
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:50 pm
are you fucking faggot id rather cut of my dikc than read this n i didnt read it cos its not fukin funny u fat vacuous neighbours fan. just fact u no so much bout these coments means u probaby do it 2, this was almsto as bad sa every oher atricle youv maed, al of wich ive read. iv been trolling sinc i was 13, and i no not everythin fits into these catargies. all u did ther was insutl ur detracters in humores ways, y dont u get a girlfriend. by the way my balls are enormous.”
HAHAHAHAHA, mate i think u fit into every single category in this article, wat happened to ur grammar man, u got more spelling mistakes than a 5yo, my grandmother types better than you, and she has no fingers!
Mate if u come back on here just to read slander about urself then comment about it, then your a stupid idiot, Seanbaby should make a specific category for people like you, i would call it ‘Fucked by Nature, the skid mark of commentary failure’ (take notes Seanbaby).
Seriously Cheese Weasel, ive played WOW before and i got bored (Have two lvl 80 charcters so im no noob), but not once did i get offended at any of the articles Seanbaby Posted, so my advice is, if u get offended by this either uninstal Firefox or ur Internet Browser that u use, Go onto WOW, Raid with some dicks and idiots that are stated in SeanBaby’s article AND CRY AS U COMPLAIN about this article. You are Pathetic at life and you dont even deserve the eyes in your head to read anything off Cracked! Go die!
Thankyou :]
P.S Use grammar so ur comment doesnt look as stupid as you are!
July 24th, 2009 at 12:44 am
Hailey wrote
“because around 48% of your readers are female”
Were the fuck do people get these statistics from
AND YESSSSSSSS >_< article was epic and person below me is ass hurt.. ohhhh
July 24th, 2009 at 12:41 am
FUCK YOU
July 24th, 2009 at 12:37 am
“anyway i’m done, yer a douchbag and should prolly stop bein such a whinny little girl .
Trust me, I’d love to stop acting like a little whiny girl, but it’s the only way your wife can get off. I think it’s because deep down… she’s still in love with you. ”
Hehe, that was a pretty epic burn.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:36 am
This was so funny, and I agree with you about the ten catagories. And so do my tits.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:34 am
you are the greatest person on the internet seanbaby
July 24th, 2009 at 12:28 am
“You can’t please the nerds and the masses at the same time.”
- Zach Galifianakis
http://www.dead-frog.com/blog/entry/interview_zach_galifianakis_stand_up_comedian/
July 24th, 2009 at 12:25 am
both were solid article but i feel this one had so much hate it failed to bring up serious points as to why everyone who e-mailed hate mail is pretty much a fucktard
July 24th, 2009 at 12:19 am
Not to be rude this was funny as hell but you don’t have to get so pissed off when people don’t like your articles. Some people are just dicks and find it nessecary to send hatemail.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:17 am
seanbaby is capable of dishing out some supremely sick burns. this article proves it conclusively and hilariously. we may now move on with our lives
July 24th, 2009 at 12:17 am
Hi Seanbaby, any chance of doing a revisit of the Yoyo kid you once described as there “not being enough feet in the world to kick this kid’s ass as much as he needs it”?
I also recommend the movie Legendary Weapons of China where one character rips his own balls off to show how good the kung fu of his school is.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:16 am
This wasn’t that funny, I don’t get why everyone’s shitting their pants over it.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:16 am
Loved the article, these whippersnappers need to learn a thing or two!
July 24th, 2009 at 12:15 am
So funny… can’t breathe….
Pure gold, up to and including the line “361 Responses to 10 Species of Angry Commenter You Encounter on the Web.”
July 24th, 2009 at 12:14 am
this was fucking amazing
btw i has tits
July 24th, 2009 at 12:11 am
Ha ha, great article! Swaim, we need that pedestal back it’s Seanbaby’s now.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:08 am
Sean, don’t be so bootyhurt.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:02 am
I kept waiting for a Grammar Nazi shout out. =[
P.S. I have tits. Sleep with me?
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:52 pm
this article is terrible
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:40 pm
Fucking Brilliant. I haven’t read an epic burn like this in a long time.
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:38 pm
I was wondering if Seanbaby read the comments. Since he does, I’ll point this out:
Part of the commenter’s text in the “The Blind Shit Flinger” appears in the wrong font, making it look like you are saying it instead of YourMumIsMyEpicMount. Editorial should probably fix that, unless you just suffered a mild stroke halfway through your article and started typing with your face.
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:36 pm
Hey, good article, but not nearly as entertaining as usual. The dick joke quota really disappointed me.
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:23 pm
I’ve read the article “Understanding the World of Warcraft Using Super Mario Brothers” and I found down right hilarious. I also play WoW and can personal assure you and everyone else that the average player fits into your descriptions. I say people are to soft and keep up the good work.
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:21 pm
As a pacman player i’d just like to say, that the above was written in the perspective of someone who’s jealous that they can’t eat all the pac-dots. This article reads as if you spent a day in lvl 1 around a bunch of ghosts that bragged about boning Ms. Pacman. But wtv. i’ll keep getting my phat power pellets and fruits while you’re still trying to french kiss Kimagure without eating power pellets first ROFLMAO. Oh yeah, I’m also a virgin. Did i just blow your mind?
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:20 pm
After reading this article, I decided to go ahead and Cntrl + F all the flamers names to see if they left any comments below as a retaliation to this article.
Suprisingly, I found Viddle, whos comments made this article truerer and even more hilarious stacked with the funny it already is.
Viddle, while you still can, just /lifequit. Your making yourself look a little stupider then you already are.
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:18 pm
You’ve outdone yourself, seanbaby. You’ll always be the highlight of my week.
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:04 pm
I see WoW is the smelly kid with leprosy everyone is defending. Such a sad, sad bunch those people are.
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Sorry, not gonna wade through 350 odd comments to see if it’s been said already, but I couldn’t really care less if this WAS a personal attack on those commenters or not. It was fucking funny, and that’s all I really care about. A pleasant surprise too that my thursday morning laughs were at the expense of whiny morons. Almost like positive karma against having to endure so many for the rest of the day.
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:02 pm
I have to admit, I don’t often find SB’s articles to be funny, but I’m not going to comment on every article, because I’m not being held down and forced to read the articles by the SS, as apparently so many of the commentators on this site are. This however, was hilarious.
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:59 pm
Here’s a thought: if he’s entitled to the opinion of everyone who comments, they’re all certainly entitled to his. And to everyone who is bent out of shape about being singled out: guess what? It’s the internet! People can read what you write, and will react to it. If you can’t handle being ridiculed for your overreaction to what is meant in good fun and for laughs, then click your back button before you open yourself up for retaliation by someone who is better at it, much funnier, has more experience than you, and has a website that allows him to be accessed by thousands of people simaltaenously. Oh, and maybe you should consider going through puberty and/or having your balls drop at some point. It really makes life much easier for you, and people around you.
And my tits agree with me.
Great article. Absolutely hysterical.
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:53 pm
Dude, I fucked loved the warcraft piece and I still play. When I first read it I couldn’t even breath I was laughing so hard because it’s so true.
Anyway, whoever didn’t like it obviously has some RL issues if they’re getting that upset over a fucking artical about a video game.
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:52 pm
The stupid is strong with quite a few of the posters here, particularly the ones that take anything Seanbaby says seriously.
Seanbaby isn’t exactly a newcomer to this whole Internet comedy writer schtick. He’s been at it for a good ten years and has a ton of material out there.
He’s very well established and this is just what he does - it’s what he’s always done. You have to be a grade-A monkey-certified idiot to think that a bunch of donkey-fucks spewing their special blend of crap in his comment section is going to somehow get under his skin. He’s dealt with plenty of hate mail throughout his career.
I do have to wonder, however, how many of you angry dipshits are actually Mark Discordia in disguise…
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:50 pm
Fucking. Brilliant.
and i think that sums this article up
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:49 pm
I’m pretty new to cracked, but what an awesome article. I particularly like the part about how these dicks feel they are above laughing at anything funny on the internet.
Well done.
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:44 pm
@mcdodo
This attracts the older species of men. 50+
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:43 pm
What is this “humor” you speak of, human?
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:40 pm
I have a question.
If I say,
“PS I HAVE SAGGY BOOBS.”
will it have the same effect? Or not? Because I do have saggy boobs.
I need an answer.
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:24 pm
I fucking love you. I swear it.
The Two And A Half Men reference is how I feel about it. I’m glad I’m not the only one.
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:18 pm
I couldn’t even finish this, and I’ll read most anything on cracked. really, this is like being in the middle of flame war.
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Great stuff.
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Hahahahah. I love retaliation. Rock on, seanbaby.
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:13 pm
holy shit that was amazing, and true.
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:12 pm
I liked this article, specifically the examples (IE callin’ bitches out) of the people you were describing.
Then halfway through I started reading it in the voice of Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons, which made it seriously hilarious.
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:06 pm
Who cares if you were just insulting losers everything was hilarious. Great article.
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:05 pm
You fed the trolls… why would you do that?
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:01 pm
SB,
You fucking make me pee. Once, I laughed so hard at one of your posts that my boyfriend broke up with me because he thought I has finally fucking snapped.
For the record, it was the Tootsie Roll comic where the kids throw a surprise party. I seriously nearly pissed myself laughing.
So fuck these shits. You’re a funny ass motherfucker, motherfucker. Glad to see you back at work and for Cracked! The time having to wait between EGM, The Wave and, now this, was far too long.
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:01 pm
This contains some of the rawest insults I’ve ever seen.
Just straight rauncy stuff off of some hard-as-fuck block.
Haters can’t even be heard over how bad they got burned.
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:01 pm
Lol @ Kunta Kinte. Keep trying and one day your babble will sound insulting. ‘Til then, all the best :).
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:00 pm
The funniest part being is that there WAS an article explaining intercourse using the SIMS.
Unless I dreamed it.
But I’m pretty sure I didn’t because it’s a fucked up dream man.
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:59 pm
Also, well played cheese weasel. Well played.
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:58 pm
@ cheese weasel, you may be the person who gets this article best. props.
also @ oblivious and @ tony, to quote my good friend who showed me this site, “Yeah, SEXISM!”
not cool. but funny.
also, i have like 10 friends that play wow and im the only one that doesnt, and for all the negative, wanna say: fucking perfect. frightening gibberish indeed.
also the insecure autobiographer… when i see that i tear up. so sad. are people that lame/unhappy? jesus.
also this is way to fucking long, am i right?
also i like white chocolate with popcorn and rootbeer
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:58 pm
WOW ruins peoples lives dude, pure and simple. I loved both articles. The thing I don’t get the most about comments is the terrible grammar people use when insulting someone. If you really want to seem like the more intelligent opinion, fucking spell shit right. Also a period every now and then doesn’t hurt either.
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:57 pm
*standing ovation of one* Totally freaking awesome…I don’t understand why people leave angry comments about stuff like this. The bottom line is this… No one cares what you think. It’s the internet. Seriously.
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:55 pm
I don’t think throwing insults back at the insulters is a very good way to handle haters given previous experiences with the internet, but they did deserve it.
Good article, Seanbaby. You’re my comedic hero.
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:54 pm
@ Phillionaire
The ‘P’ in your name stands for penis.
Meaning you have had well over one million penis.
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:52 pm
I thought the same thing about Two And A Half Men until I saw the show. Hilarious.
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Sam, I’d tell you to lick my jizz off of your mother’s face, but your dad told me not to disturb either of you during your “special time.”
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:43 pm
heres a fun game, go through all the insulti comments, then label them with the above ten lables!! its fun for the whole family!!!!!
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:42 pm
Brilliant shit. “Plus, I can’t really tell a guy to suck my balls when he’s already lurking under my toilet in a wetsuit screaming at them while I shit on him.” That’s awesome writing and very funny.
And Phillionaire, shut the fuck up, you wannabe comedy critic.
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:42 pm
KILL ‘EM SEANBABY! KILL ‘EM ALL!!!!
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:37 pm
That whole female sexual organs bit is kinda disrespectful. What about hermaphrodites?
Am I failing at my attempt to post a funny comment? Probably.
But at least I have the balls to admit I’m drunk (that comment is aimed towards people with shitty comments….though hey, seanbaby, if you’re drunk too, mad props)
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:37 pm
“# Tamina Says:
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:29 pm
Women mention that they’re women not because they want to fuck you but because they want you to know you’re women. The default assumption is that, unless otherwise specified, everyone on this site is a man; in both the comments and the articles.
Not every female who mentions it wants your man-meat with a desperate passion, they’d just like it if you maybe didn’t include them in your ‘fat and bad with women’ categories. And stuff.
PS I HAVE BOOBS”
I disagree, The majority of females who do this are younger girls who, now that being a nerd has become more and more socially acceptable, want to place themselves, on a platform, as a rarity. They enjoy the attention that nerd guys(esp 15 and below) will give them. Often they turn to the web where they can talk about themselves, and have the desperate masses care what they have to say, instead of competing with other woman out in the wild.
“I have boobs” isn’t something you put on a lure when you disregard the gender of your repliers, and if history isn’t proof enough won’t help much on a resume either
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Fuck. *read
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:36 pm
@TheWinst
Nobody likes Nickelback. Nobody. They buy their own albums.
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:36 pm
1. I raided for a year, it was sort of fun. I left because everything Seanbaby said was pretty much true.
2. When I raid WoW via Mario bros, I laughed. A lot.
3. Tamina, you’re fat and bad with women.
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:31 pm
“…wear me thinner than a tampon machine in a Blood Elf sorority.”
I laughed for about 15 minutes just thinking about that.
You never cease to amaze, Seanbaby.
Also, Two and a half men is a fairly decent show. What I’ve seen is better than what I’ve expected.
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:24 pm
Bravo.
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:18 pm
I actually took the time to read this again, and I realized that the direction of the piece is fine. It’s just in the execution. Come on, “first term abortion?” I came up with better abortion related insults in high school. Gay/rape jokes? Really? Just because you can say whatever you want here doesn’t mean you have to pick what you think is the most shocking or offensive to be funny. I looked up the old website that a few people mentioned and laughed my ass off at that Worst Video Games list. Maybe I’m falling under #10 here but it’s possible I just picked the wrong article to read today. You’ve done better.
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:15 pm
I’d also like to add… the only way to make the majority of readers like you is to be safe, boring, try not to make any waves, and write with a effort to not offend anyone. At that point you become the fucking Nickleback of comedy writers. And who the fuck likes Nickleback?
Boring fucking people, that’s who.
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:09 pm
Tamina, I’d imagine he’s making a joke about the absurdity of pointing out your gender as if someone had asked, or as if all men on the internet will have their minds blown by the concept of one of their detractors have breasts. The whole “omg im part of a male-dominated subculture AND have a vagina, I bet you’re masturbating to my screen name already you filthy nerd” thing is incredibly pathetic and arrogant. And yes, he could have said that instead, but that’s not fucking funny is it.
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:03 pm
Seanbaby, you were by far my favorite part of EGM, and the main reason I was bummed when it went under. The shit Maxim issues they’ve sent as a replacement don’t nearly fill that void.
Then, one day I decided to check out Cracked (which I had previously only read occasionally) and came upon your article on the official Ninendo Seal. I started reading without looking at the writer’s name and thought “Wow, this guy writes just like Seanbaby, he’s fully biting the guy’s style…” only to scroll back up and see I had inadvertently found the real deal. I’ve been a regular visitor to Cracked since. Every week I look forward to your new posts. Sure, some of your articles are better than others, but at it’s worst your shit’s a tier above 90% of the “humor” I’ve found online.
My point is (yeah, tl;dr)… fuck the haters you just schooled. You have your own unique writing style that’s instantly recognizable, you’ve gained at least one regular visitor to Cracked since joining, and bro… you’re fucking hilarious. I honestly missed your unique brand of vulgar nerd-humor after EGM stopped printing, and I’m glad that void is filled.
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:03 pm
I never read the comments, and I just kinda assumed that you didn’t either…but knowing that you do, I love you. That is all.
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:02 pm
@ Tamina
Don’t forget my sandwich too.
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:00 pm
@ Tamina
Break away from the stove and laundry for a minute. Get on Google. Type in “What is a joke?”
Get back to me.
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:51 pm
I have boobs too
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:50 pm
are you fucking faggot id rather cut of my dikc than read this n i didnt read it cos its not fukin funny u fat vacuous neighbours fan. just fact u no so much bout these coments means u probaby do it 2, this was almsto as bad sa every oher atricle youv maed, al of wich ive read. iv been trolling sinc i was 13, and i no not everythin fits into these catargies. all u did ther was insutl ur detracters in humores ways, y dont u get a girlfriend. by the way my balls are enormous.
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:49 pm
This article was endlessly hilarious. And the description of the “Angsty Unfunner” was surprisingly insightful. The “MADlibs insult” explanation was so, so true. When did idiots start thinking that was funny?
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:47 pm
Thank God. Thank God you exist.
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:41 pm
@Dore
I think most people aren’t even aware of that to be jealous of it.
Truth be known, he probably pwns every single hater here when it comes to real life.
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:40 pm
And to corresponding all the games are the huge waste in time. WoW is enjoyable, if it does not spend it me for little even when be enjoyable you, I that likes it. The game like radioactive fallout seen boringly for me completely and it is the huge waste in time to me with, it. Similarly it was ‘expand’,… you sbj planning was expanded are, and is it correct? it is. Those best strategy are expanded even what obtains other persons with that does it of to it so by the fact. Yes. Eighty single flat warlocks can slaughter thuzad Kel’ easily. In order that he makes it in the face surface only with the fact I collect people it is such easily. You do you notice that must do it if those wish that the monster is correct, the item merchandise that carries? Like your being thought it is the insufficient elementary knowledge of all the MMO. EQ does it and Vanguard do probably so and it is done many is equal and a little MMOs you who it is made intentionally with the method there are not the hell lower class that does so and from that is teambased economy, if you do not obtain it and you besides.
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:37 pm
Well, Seanbaby once again proves he’s the king of the internet by not only making a damn funny article (well, ALL of his articles are funny…), but casting the dumbass light on all the idiot Cracked commenters as well. Damn, damn fine job, Seanbaby.
Oh, gotta love the “go get some poon” commenter, too. You ever see Sean’s girlfriend? She’s fucking hot. As in, way hotter than some jerkoff posting “go get some poon” could ever get. Hell, he couldn’t even get an attractive hooker.
It all boils down to the J word, JEALOUSY. Sean used to write for EGM, has a HUGE fanbase, can kick your ass in real life, and gets laid regularly. Hell, I love the guy, and even I’M jealous!
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:37 pm
Nice way to hit back, yet it seems that the people commenting below me still don’t get it
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:36 pm
Epic. Awesome article.
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:32 pm
@ Lol
“Lol Says:
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:23 pm
Look at all you, putting seanbaby’s dick in ur mouths.”
The jokes on you. Seanbabys dick is too large to be contained in a mere mouthhole.
The only thing that could contain such a behemoth is Deimudda’s mum.
Hint: Diamuddas mums pussy is as wide as a door.
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:29 pm
Women mention that they’re women not because they want to fuck you but because they want you to know you’re women. The default assumption is that, unless otherwise specified, everyone on this site is a man; in both the comments and the articles.
Not every female who mentions it wants your man-meat with a desperate passion, they’d just like it if you maybe didn’t include them in your ‘fat and bad with women’ categories. And stuff.
PS I HAVE BOOBS
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Seanbaby-1; Angry Commenters-0
Great stuff, mate!
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:27 pm
The Cult of Cracked seems to have deemed you worthy for the most part, Mr. Baby. Proceed.
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:25 pm
You should just make a dumpster article of the worst replies you’ve gotten or get.
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Man, you are getting a little defensive don’t you think? Now before you cast people into one of your pigeon holes, you’ve got to remember that some part of the internet is just gonna hate your stuff, more or less when you attack their lifestyles. Obviously.
See, they’re doing the same thing you did. But instead of having the first piece of verbal vomit turn into online commentary, you at least decide to defend your lifestyle (writing, most likely) with witty backlash in article form.
I only condemn this article because it seems more pointless than your original intent to make it hilarious, only ending up seeming like a defensive prick who could be writing another type of funny article.
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:24 pm
A lot of you guys just confirmed what he was talking about. (And he has the last laugh by the way) I think he has every reason to rant due to all the stupid comments he gets every time he writes. I’d get sick of it too, however, he did it in a funny way. I could never do that, and apparently you guys get butt hurt every time something MAY be geared towards you and you can’t take a joke. Wahh… and also WOW is no longer fun simply because of the r-tards on there. He made a point, it was funny, stop crying…its embarrassing.
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:23 pm
Look at all you, putting seanbaby’s dick in ur mouths. GG. He’s just an average rager who has been given the oppurtunity to write articles about people raging at him.
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:18 pm
Okay, so let’s see…
When Gladstone is annoyed, he makes dry witty comments until he explodes in incoherent exasperation.
When DOB is heckled he yawns and says things like “Thanks for your advice. I’ll take that into account.”
When Seanbaby is bothered he writes a page of entertaining wrath.
When Ross is angry he transforms into a cloud of primordial evil and devours the souls of the people of a small country in Eastern Europe. We’ll miss you, you bearded bastard.
But what about Bucholz? I haven’t seen his response to frustration. Does…does he not have anger? Is he THAT Canadian?
Hmmm…interesting.
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:15 pm
Gotta hand it to you Seanbaby, I get twice the entertainment for just one article - the comments are just as golden.
Let’s get some perpective folks: joke article is a joke. If you didn’t like it, announce your disappointment as you have every right to and move on, rather than excercise your supposed right to be a complete douchebag and obsess because maybe you took it a bit too seriously. I love how the ranters go ballistic because they have to defend against some supposed personal attack. Jesus fucking Christ, if your real balls were half as huge as your virtual ones, there would be more reason to hide away behind a computer screen and flame all day because of the embarassment of carting those badboys around in a wagon in public.
Get a sense of humor and laugh a little. Not everything is about you, the world doesn’t revolve around you, and you are not a special snowflake.
Good stuff Seanbaby, keep it up! It’s funny because it’s so Goddamn true.
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Beautiful rebuttal. Thank you Seanbaby!
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:13 pm
You and I- we could be friends over this.
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:09 pm
Awesome article Seanbaby they should totally let you skip ahead in line at the CRACKED beer vending machine for that one.
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:05 pm
seanbaby you are hilarious. your the only reason i keep around my old EGM’s.
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:04 pm
i find you hilarious. i had quite a chuckle from all this. gosh, youre funny.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Cheese. Weasel. End.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:55 pm
I’m pretty sure Seanbaby has just unleashed the most drawn-out, well placed, and thoroughly effective burn I’ve ever seen.
Watch now, as everyone yearns for your ever-elusive affection.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:47 pm
@ Deimudda
deimudda Says:
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:00 pm
“@ toby: wow!! my mum, really???
ps: my mum was fat and ugly as shit and she´s three years dead,”
Thankyou for letting us all know of your genetical lineage.
Please, don’t be angry at Seanbaby for this. You have only your mother to blame. And manbearpig.
Hint: Your dad is manbearpig.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:43 pm
If this comment appears twice, it’s because It didn’t seem to go though the first time. Probably because my examples contained curses, but others don’t seem to have that problem.
One thing about writing a long comment, after you’re done you see something else that you want to respond to. You also may discover, as I have, that you shouldn’tInternet use the spellInternet checker on your e-mail client. I just doen’t Internet that well.
I’ll keep this one brief. Stop wasting everyone’s time and insulting whatever we all might have that passes for intelligence by suggesting that poor behaviour comes with your genetals! I have never once greeted the super in my fleabag apartment complex with “Eat $#%& and DIE! Lrn to cln the tar offa walls and PS I H8 U!!!”, and he has never responded to anything I’ve said with “%$@# U COCK MOUTH FAGGITY-FAG-FAG, Me want PR0N BITCH!”. This despite both of us posessing the same offending genetals.
For the sake of what’s left of the dignity of men everywhere admit that being rude and obnoxious is a completely separate personality disorder from being male.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:42 pm
This article was too long and not funny at all. L2J
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:33 pm
I thought it was an okay article, but there could have been more wit and less angry responses.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:31 pm
If you hate an article why would you waste your time writing a response? On a related note, if you hate all the articles on this website why would you bother coming here?
By the way, I thought it was a great article.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:25 pm
I don’t play Wow so the original article was just funny from the perspective of a long-suffering … um… sufferer of everyday noobs and their everyday noobishness. It was pretty funny what with the Mario parallel.
But damn guy, this isn’t comedy, this is just pure vitriol. I like your other shit but let’s be honest, the purpose of this article was never comedy, was it? Trust me, I need to vent on ranting idiots constantly too, but can’t you just flame people on the message board? I was looking forward to a good Seanbaby comedy article but with respect, this was not an article, this was an open fuck you letter. My first WTF was right around “your father’s birth canal” and the rest was just painful. I don’t even like those guys you quoted either, but I couldn’t bring myself to enjoy this, and I f-in tried. Looking forward to yuor next post (as long as it’s not more of this).
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:25 pm
Goddamn it, I hate Amateur Communicators.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:25 pm
Looks like Seanbaby is the biggest rager of them all
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:22 pm
I thought it was a pretty funny article.
I have played World of Warcraft and I have to agree, the community is just full of (what I will *Generously* refer to as) retards. The game itself is pretty lacking as well , in all areas.
Seanbaby was speaking the truth in his previous article, angry people are just people who whined about it for the sake of whining. I don’t see why people go to a comedy/entertainment site and take this seriously.
Anyway once again, I enjoyed this article and the previous one.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:19 pm
I’ve seen every one of these types over and over for the last decade and a half. Thank you, Seanbaby. Trolling is so satisfying when it’s done well.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Hey, just thought I’d like a little image for all of you angry commenters. HAVE A NICE DAY!
http://nicekicks.com/images/retard.jpg
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Seanbaby;
I have to admit. I didn’t read your article last week. I didn’t really find it funny - and, to be honest, I used to work with an entire department of nerds who talked about WOW every other time they weren’t talking about anything work related. And while I still count most of them as some of the closest friends I have even to this day, I have to admit that I’m also glad that I now work with people who, more then likely, have never even heard of the game.
I’m sure you can understand, then, when I say that I’m just a little bit sick of hearing about WOW - but in the end, I have nothing against it as a game in and of itself, or the people who play it for the enjoyment and / or graphics (except for those crazy fucks who let their 4 month old kid suffocate because their game ‘took longer then usual’. As a father myself, I don’t give a shit what the reason was - 4 months old means someone’s there with her every time, or you take her with you - no exceptions!!!).
I also have to admit that your articles, on a whole, are a bit hit-and-miss with me; I either really like it, or I never finish reading it.
But the ones I do read…goddamn, seanbaby. Some of the funniest things I’ve ever read online (could even rival Swaims’ stuff, some of them [I'm sorry Michael, I still love you.]).
I still remember that article you did about alternatives to Christianity, and the shit you wrote about Wicca. And you’re right - for the most part, we are just batshit about environmental issues - albeit it each in our own way (though some of those ways vary quite a bit, I’m afraid…). But when I got to the part about ‘a synchronized menstrual cycle’, I got in so much shit at work for laughing so damn loud…..but it was worth it.
And it was the same with today’s article - though this time I read it from home, so the worst that happened is I woke up the neighbors.
But fuck them - this article’s worth a cold stare or two!
Keep it up,,,
Regards,
Shadow122
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:17 pm
That was gold. I can only imagine the ferocious cyber-rage being experienced by some of your troll-happy targets.
Nice work!
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Am I the only one who didn’t understand the “secret rival” one? The comment seemed like a regular negative mail, but SB calls him his stalker- for reasons I don’t comprehend.
Maybe if I say “I didn’t find this article to be entertaining” I will be called out as an obsessive rage-filled stalker
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:13 pm
hmm..he seems to be the most angry commenter…
http://celebfry.com/internet_commenters_magazine.html
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:12 pm
I thought both articles were profoundly mind blowing. I have played WoW, but then one day I realized a bar is much better. But I am an asshole, and as such I have to say everyone that said he was wrong is a cock-monger. And everyone who said he was right, welcome to the right side. Oh yea, if you want to talk shit to me, please take a moment to play my flesh flute first.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:11 pm
I love you Seanbaby
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:10 pm
Applause.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:10 pm
Generally, I always love your articles, and this one is funny… well, it was funny until I realised that it was not about the general dickheads that dominate in the internet, but instead just a personal attack. I mean, it almost sounded like if you had found the internet the past week.
Really Seanbaby, you are more than this.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:10 pm
Gotta hand it to the commenters… they do a great job of giving examples.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:05 pm
Heh, both this article and the one before it were very funny. I always look forward to Seanbaby’s stuff.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:00 pm
the thing about seanbaby is, he doesn’t really write about anything. He just…writes.
and therein lies the genius.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:58 pm
I once had sex while watching Ghostbusters. The guy claimed for weeks that he didn’t sleep with girls early on in the relationship and then one day we were watching ghostbusters and suddenly he was ready to have sex! This was the only time we ever had sex though we dated for a month after that. I was really confused by that but you’ve finally cleared it up for me. He was turned on by the fact that I liked Ghostbusters and probably didn’t eve had sex with me again because I went home after instead of staying and watching the rest of the movie.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:55 pm
Entertaining as always.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:55 pm
O.k., let me spell it out for the confused trolls. You just got out-trolled by someone who can actually come up with a funny and original insult instead of regurgitating internet memes.
Think I’m full of sh*t? Think you know comedy? Try to insult SB in a way that is HALF as funny.
What the hell, its a comedy site. Since you already think you are so beyond the humor level of the writer and all us dorks who think this is funny, prove it. If you are gonna take the time to complain, why not try and make someone laugh while you are at it.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:54 pm
This was awesome. That is all. I take seanbaby’s side. If anyone is wondering.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:54 pm
deimudda=insecure autobiographer+secret rival
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:54 pm
“For those of you who aren’t men; this is how men act. We’re rude and insulting and it is not always meant with bile. If you rip on us, we’ll do it back, but that doesn’t mean we’re hurt by your comments or hoping you get hurt by ours.”
Thanks, Digger! Now I can finally laugh at all those Judd Apatow movies. As a woman, I just never got the joke! Or any joke, ever, unless Nora Ephron wrote it.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:49 pm
the name will always be deimudda, has been for over a year here and even longer on numerous other sites…..
YOU CAN HAZ ZUPAR AIDS TOO!!!!
and it doesnt matter what you label me as, i stand firmly by my hatred of all things seanbaby, i cant even count how many mean comments i planted under how many of his godawful so called “funny articles”. i´m a hater since his day one on cracked. i even admit that there was some semi decent suff (the casting fail top 10 and the jcvd articles werent half bad), but overal i just cant stand his selfrighteous arrogant prickness. if that makes me any of the types described so poorly above then so be it. i still wish in all honesty he would die a rahther slow and painful death!!
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:47 pm
To make fun of Seanbaby is like going to a comedy show and hurling a ‘clever’ barb at the performing comic. They’ve got a microphone, they’ve got a stage, they’ve got a huge audience and they’ve got the comedic talent. If they so choose, they will utterly annihilate you because you have NONE OF THOSE THINGS.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:46 pm
As a WoW fan, I found the first article absolutely hilarious. Thankfully, I am a rarity amongst my fellow Wowtards, otherwise we would never have been delivered a second helping of deliciously stinging shit!
Champagne comedy, sir! Champagne!
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:40 pm
The best part of this whole article is that each of the ten groups listed in it appear in the comments section. That’s gold.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:38 pm
lol nice article seanbaby. it seems all it really did, tho, was inspire more people to be exactly the things you wrote about, lol….
article made me laugh tho, thanx
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:38 pm
“And before someone points out “Ha! You just contradicted yourself in the part where you say it takes no skill then you say it needs organisational skills!!!!!”
I shouldn’t have used the word “skill”, because since when did organising people take skill?”
Another comment that reminds me of frisky. Damn, I should throw that in.
“Your super power is management? Baffling” - One of the Nerds
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:35 pm
“i dont get people (kids) who think that warcraft or CS is a skill. like, when a guy with two chicks and a car comes to a internet caffe, beats 10 people in pool and then takes a comp to play Counter S and he gets beaten a few times in a row and the nerds are like N00B!!!1 hahaha, loseeerrrr”
What is with all this emphasis on owning a car? This has to be the 3rd or 4th post I’ve seen where owning a car is considered some sort of life achievement. Is the economy that bad that the average person doesn’t own a car?
But it does remind me of frisky dingo.
“I own like 50.” - Xander Fucking Crews
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:32 pm
o deimudda whoever he is when he’s not hiding behind a made-up name, and any others like him,
dear Mr. Whatshisname:
You are evidently a combination hater. The language makes you sound like “Secret Rival”, but the content betrays a “Busy Critic” because you clearly didn’t read even the first two paragraphs of this article. If you had, you’d realize your sad tirade will have absolutely no effect on Seanbaby, no effect on CRACKED, and no effect on the majority of the audience of either one.
In the case of this article, I think SB decided to save some time spent in his e-mail client by responding to every single one of the doubtless thousands of self-appointed internetInternet who e-mail him every time he posts anything. He is not the only one who has this problem, the internet iInternetpulated with uppity nerds who have way WAY too much time on their hands, who seem to think the internet belInternetthem, and only what THEY want to see should be found in a random google search.
I however like to think I’m a more laid back nerd, so I only comment when I think I have something positive to contribute to the conversation… or at least the chance to make it a conversation. The comment is this: CRACKED appears to be some sort of business. All businesses are in the business to make money, and in entertainment that means pleasing people. Hate Seanbaby all you like, but he’s here and he’s not going away, which means SOMEBODY likes what he does, and lookee! your little comment and/or email didn’t change that!
Okay, by now there’s no way Mr. Whatzizname is still WhatshisnameI’ll just end the comment by saying, this wasn’t the funniest article you’ve ever written, but it was a heroic statement. I get so tired of the rare, meaningful comment on anything being buried on any thread under a mountain of threatening, incoherant nonsense lacedincoherent, curses and ebonics. I just get tired of reading them. This all probably changes nothing, but it was nice to see someone who can spell (or at least employ a spell check) use his podium to vent. Thanks SB!
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:29 pm
I play world of warcraft, I admit it.
But I found your article hilarious because it spoke the truth. In fact, I shared it with a bunch of my friends who also play, and they thought it was funny/true as well.
I’m not going to insult anybody here, I just want to commend you for a well written article that made me fall off my chair laughing.
Also, I like Ghostbusters.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:25 pm
hey deimudda, why dont you calm the fuck down?
ps: if we all get super aids because you keep wishing it on people, we’re going to jizz right in your mouth so that firstly you will stop talking, and secondly, you will die, and therefore stop talking.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:23 pm
I thought the mario bros. WOW article was pretty funny. If you’re getting flak you’re over the target I guess.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:22 pm
Ha!
That is all.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:21 pm
Hahahahaha. My favourite part: the mangina minotaur. Thumbs up and applause.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:18 pm
“Hell, I’ve dated two women who didn’t even like Ghostbusters.”
Ghostbusters is lame, unless you were a little kid when you first saw it.
“all hate mail writers, even ones from Warcraft, fall perfectly into one of ten categories. ”
10? Way to narrow it down, chief. You’re a friggin genius.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:18 pm
“The other is swapping genetic fluid, but I imagine anyone lucky enough to have sex with you gets to skip the unnecessary intercourse part and go straight to the weird smell in the air.”
Haha, I want you in my corner when I’m arguing with someone
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:16 pm
So this is what virgins get up to
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:09 pm
And before someone points out “Ha! You just contradicted yourself in the part where you say it takes no skill then you say it needs organisational skills!!!!!”
I shouldn’t have used the word “skill”, because since when did organising people take skill?
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:09 pm
I love that, instead of replying pissily to comments and sounding insecure, you wrote an article about ‘angry commenters’ but decided to use specific examples aimed at yourself, leave in the names, and add a bunch of personal insults to the article. So the main difference between you guys is way more people will see your replies to their comments. And your insults are at least well formed and thought out.
On the other hand, it’s PacMan, and PacMan is always awesome, regardless of how it’s used, so it’s all good.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:07 pm
Ah, I get it. All these people complaining that seanbaby is a terrible writer are World of Warcraft fans that can’t admit that the game is terrible and takes no skill. Yes I have actually played the game, and I was bored within a day of playing the game because it’s so repetitive. Of course someone will point out “well you haven’t even got into the core of the game which is raiding”, I would like you to outline the skills that go into beating a boss. Because I am quite sure organisation skills are only required, nothing else. You press the same 3 or 4 keys for 20 minutes straight, so where’s the skill again? Oh yeah, it’s all organisation like I just mentioned.
No doubt I am going to receive replies from copious amounts of idiotic fans that question my sexuality/life/job prospects etc - when the reality is 90-100% of current World of Warcraft players use the game as their only real social outlet, have extremely poor hygiene and no sex life (or life at all for that matter). In effect, it renders your reply useless since if you were in the minority of people that actually have proper social skills - you’re still socialising and “hanging out” with the very people you hate. Nice work, the hypocrisy’s are amazing.
Despite the fact World of Warcraft caters to the most idiotic and unskilled people all around the world in the entire gaming community, you guys can atleast take solace in the fact that it’s a most likely a more popular game than whatever others would play, right? Which would mean what exactly? I don’t know, but that argument is most likely going to be brought up eventually.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:06 pm
To be honest, the original article didn’t do much for me… that being said, some of the lines in this rebuttal more than made up for it. That bit about the tiny monkey; awesome.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:00 pm
@ toby: wow!! my mum, really???
go lick seanbabys asshole some more, will ya?
ps: my mum was fat and ugly as shit and she´s three years dead,
but hey nice that you finally lost your virginity at 28!!
please, see to it that you contract the same strain of super aids when having raging butt sex with your personal superhero failbaby!!
IDIOT!
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:59 pm
Dear Seanbaby,
They are all right, and you are wrong.
Sincerely, Lex
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:55 pm
And 1 “word critic”- “”meh.”
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:55 pm
I just think anyone who is interested in posting another complaint should read this first:
Oof.
Even the people defending Seanbaby are getting it wrong: This was a friendly gesture.
I got the same reaming when I first got here and responded to an occasional comment or two. For those of you who aren’t men; this is how men act. We’re rude and insulting and it is not always meant with bile. If you rip on us, we’ll do it back, but that doesn’t mean we’re hurt by your comments or hoping you get hurt by ours.
Seanbaby and I have both come here from having our own websites first, where we’re used to interacting with commenters like they’re more than an audience. I’ve never taken an (angry) comment seriously enough to get upset about it, but I’ve responded plenty of times with insults - it’s the game. It’s a bonding thing. It’s fun, and it builds community….
Sometimes.
Everytime an author rips on somebody here it’s “butthurt this” and “whining” that. Do you honestly think a guy like Seanbaby, who’s been doing this for a decade now, doesn’t understand how the internet works? If he actually got upset everytime he received an insulting comment he would’ve died of a stroke by now. The comments on his WoW piece were just good fodder for this simple insult comedy article. That’s all.
This is from Brockway, but it’s a long way down the comments list and some people don’t read that far
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:54 pm
Don’t forget lengthy be-my-smary comedy routine’s-test-audience down there, with his smug knowing smile and ability to point out things that are cheap.
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:53 pm
You forgot my personal favorite, “Captain Incoherent”. I get emails from him from time to time which are something like this:
YOU WANT HUMP YOU MOM BIG BOY? HUH? FOR WHY YOU WANT NO READ IT?
Truly a genius in his own way.
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:51 pm
@ ceri: not /b/tards, just the cancer that is killing /b/.
On a note of personal observation, it hasn’t been highlighted by the column, but there’s another species of angry commenter that has obviously appeared aplenty this time round: the Instinctive White Knight. The type who, at the slightest hint of dissent, will immediately initiate the same response: “Your a fucking fag if you fail to understand or agree with it…if you didn’t like the article then don’t bother reading it…[insert vitriolic almost-incoherent insult pertaining to genitals/upbringing]”
Now perhaps the writer, bless him, was not intending on giving both sides of the coin fair attention, but surely it’s blinkered to cast negative commenters as the only idiots around. It’s the Internet, not everyone’s going to agree unanimously. A differing opinion, even a dissenting one, if properly thought out, is surely still valid. If only people were this willing to spring to defence of something without foresight this quickly IRL, America’d probably have wrapped up Iraq by now.
Also just to highlight the idiocy of people who write some variation of “If you didn’t like the article then don’t read it.”, if I didn’t read the article first, how was I going to know I wouldn’t like it, tool?
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:51 pm
Interesting; I have long considered what you describe as the “cheese weasel” phenomenon of utterly failing to be zany as the “purple monkey underwear” phenomenon. Despite this difference of opinion, I hope we can still be best friends forever.
Love,
Green Cheez Monkie!!!!!!!!!!
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:49 pm
meh.
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:47 pm
Pure Gold! Mr. T Levels of Gold!
Seanbaby, I’m so happy you came to cracked.
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:47 pm
By the way.. learning to take it lightly goes both ways.. I read the comments “Seanbaby” was making fun of and I thought some of them gave me a chuckle. I’ono maybe my sense of humours shit hehe.
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:45 pm
This Just In:
Barrack Obama Hussien YoMama Shalama today appointed David Gergan as White House Talky Strategery Person.
Also President YoTypicalWhitePersonMama appeared at a fundraiser beside the Reverand Jesse Jackoff, where he denounced rapper Sister Solja as “like, just a total racist bitch, you know.”
Stay tuned for further details.
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Wow.. I’ve never come across an unfunny article on Cracked before.. This really does seem like an angry self righteous rant but whatever.. maybe I missed sarcasm in the writing.
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:42 pm
@Ennui
I’d wager you my Deimuddas mums cum soaked tissues,
that a cracked poll would show seanbaby as one of the most popular article writers here.
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:36 pm
Hate to say it, but I agree with deimudda. Half of those sweaty-palmed, self-masturbatory OMG-PRAISE comments sound like they were commissioned. The past 3 or 4 Seanbaby articles have not only been so poorly written but riddled with typos to boot, as if even the editor didn’t want to be arsed to actually read it.
In this harsh economy, I think this one writer is nothing more than a strain on Cracked’s payroll and reputation.
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Ha ha ha,
Kudos Seanbaby.
I found both articles funny, light-hearted and tongue-in-cheek, and any articles I didn’t… Well, it’s my own fault for reading through all of them.
Having said that, I love reading some of the comments.. It’s comedy of its own sort.
Some people just need to stop taking stuff so seriously and learn to laugh at themselves
Keep up the good work
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Damn. There goes my idea for sending in the “Cheese Weasel” comedy routine for consideration.
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:31 pm
@ deimudda
Do you want a tissue?
I have some beside my bed here, left over from when your mum visited last night.
Hint: They’re covered in cum because i fucked her.
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Fuck those haters man I thought your article was funny as hell and I am a WoW player
So yeah
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:26 pm
wow!!
just wow!!
not only the worst article by seanbaby, or the worst on cracked.com,
but probably the worst pile of incoherent, whiny, pissed-off, self-righteous garbage i have ever seen on the entire web!
all funny flaming and trolling aside, in dire seriousness:
please contract aids or die of painful dick cancer you gigantic prick!
i hate you!!
i will never read any of your articles ever again or bother to comment on them, you re even worse than i could have ever imagined! i love cracked, and thats why i tried time and time again
to laugh about your articles, but this was the last straw!!
please die!!
really, do it, you would make the world, and cracked, a better place
for all of us!!
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:17 pm
You, sir, are a comedic genius! Loved just how perfectly you pegged each species and how every word was dripping with such contempt.
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:17 pm
You hit some nails on their heads. And by nails, I mean noobs. Why is it girls who play games feel the need to point out that they’re girls? There are more than three billion of you out there, ladies. It doesn’t make you special that you decided to try video games. Also, “playing” WoW does not count as being a gamer. Any game factories full of little children play in Asia as work can’t be a challenge.
Not that I’m trying to insult the gaming skills of Asian kids. I’ll bet they rock at Pacman.
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:17 pm
i want to be part of it too…..please im bored and have nothing better to do at the moment since i just kicked a self medicating habit that rivals that of most rock stars
no really u fucking people with your comments are way more entertaining than the actual articles most of the time.
and wow as its so eloquintly called is a waste of time to anyone with a real job…i dont mean welcome to taco bell may i take your order…and yes im eatin a fat ass making burrito right now
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Is that a tampon attached to Ms. Pacman? Isn’t the bow enough?
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Well that was good, you have a great way with words. I wouldn’t want to get in an argument with you, but it was a bit aggressive for my taste. Funny though!
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Are WOW players the same as /b/tards these days? some of the e-mails he got sent certainly seem to be /b/tard inspired.
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:08 pm
LOL! Funny how he writes about how all his commenters are dumbasses with horrid languages skills and suddenly, every commenter is writing in clear concise English! Seanbaby, you’re a GENIUS!
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Sean…Bizaby… You know that perfect inner comedian that does the “head reading” when you are reading silently…(don’t know about you but I read a loud all the goddamned time) anyhow… Your articles make me pee. I said the shit about the inner comic head voice thing to say this: My inner voice reading your inner voice just might be the same thing as partyin’ like Axl Rose in 1992. I haven’t laughed so hard in a long long long long long time. Bones.
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:03 pm
I no longer allow myself to scroll down and read Youtube comments while watching a video. It’s just…too…retarded. It makes me feel really bad that the 10 categories you just described seem to include 95% of all people on the internet, but I like to think that the rational, level headed people just didn’t feel the need to speak up if their opinion has already been stated (which in all likelihood it has, my comment included). Thank you for this informative guide to the internet’s variety of assholes, I’ll remember this next time my eyes scroll over a stomach-wrenching metaphor and I almost feel the need to comment back.
They’re all very damaged people. Indeed.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:56 pm
Seanbaby, I am so torn. I want to complement you for this. But then I want to insult you so I can feel the scorn of your EPIC wit. Punish me Seanbaby. Punish me with your mind!!!! LOL!!
No, but that is was awesome. I laughed the whole way through. If ever I get into it online with some angsty, anti-humorous, life-coach, nerds, I’m coming to you for pointers.
Three thumbs up! Wait…
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:56 pm
= D
Reading this articles responses has proven to me that people are stupider than I thought.
Seanbaby is too intelligent for most of you guys.
Think of him as jigsaw from the saw series. He knows what he’s doing and he knows how you’re going to react. It’s a game to him.
Types…smil..ey.. face…. = ) <– ha
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Both articles were fucking fantastic!!
I laughed my ass off…and totally ignored Colbert on the television behind me!
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:51 pm
curse you, Versus. Switch to magnified!
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:51 pm
im going to contribute to the wonderful arguments here that provoke intellects to battle out their opinions in a civilized manner.
PENIS VAGINA PENIS VAGINA VAGINA SCAT PENIS BOOB VAGINA SCAT SHIT FUCK BITCH ASS CUNT MOTHER CUNT
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:46 pm
I’m sticking with ‘amplified’, thank you very much.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Instead of addressing any criticism how about I just insult everything and everyone I can. You and the wow faggots are actually exactly alike, the difference is you get paid for being a retard and they do it for fun.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:45 pm
@Voidedlives: Which baseless statement would that be? That RP’ers are considered by even the general populations of MMO’s even nerdier than them? (I never said I agreed, just that it’s the impression that’s given.)
Personally, I’d love to try out some pen and paper someday, just there’s not like there’s exactly a lot of willing people where I live to do it.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Everyone, please: Listen to Brockway. He seems to be the only person in this thread so far that seems to understand this article.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Why do people get offended when somebody makes fun of WoW? It has 11 million subscribers and Mountain Dew on its side, I’m quite sure it can take some blows from a comedy writer.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:41 pm
hmm, okay, i’d like to say something, my earlier rant on Versus was probably ineffective, but that’s how i feel, you shouldn’t take it personally and if you do, i apologize.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:40 pm
although, i might be in denial as Versus said hehe
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:39 pm
oh and Versus, ALL games are a colossal waste of time. If you don’t have any fun, for me, WoW is fun, i like it. Games like Fallout just plain look boring to me, so to me THAT is a colossal waste of time. Also ‘it’s amplified,’ … you mean magnified, correct? ‘it’s amplified by the fact their best strategy is to get other people together with nothing to do’ (paraphrasing). Yep. A single level 80 Warlock can EASILY kill Kel’thuzad. So easily in fact he just gathers people to rub it in his face. You realize they HAVE to do that if they want an item that monster carries, correct? you seem like you lack basic knowledge of any MMO. EQ did it, Vanguard probably does, and so many others do, hell, some MMOs are even teambased from a low-level, it’s made that way on purpose. If you don’t get that, then there is no saving you.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Man, you didn’t deserve none of that.
True fans of a piece of media can take and make jokes about it, the jerkasses who can’t take joke about it need to head over to aisle nine and grab a sense of humor.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:37 pm
that was fucking awesome. I love the rage.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:37 pm
@ Kaage123
That’s because you’re in denial.
Just kidding.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Okay I’m sick of reading comments now… I tried to get through all of them, but no fucking way.
In any case I have something to say to nspan and others who think that it’s stupid to respond to the comments at all, and I’m going break from all attempts at comedy to say it:
ALL the most successful websites in any content industry, comedy or otherwise, are achieving their success by engaging their audiences. In a world of aggregators and websites like Digg that allow people to jump back and forth from source to source, the only way a site can develop a loyal community is by forming a dialogue with fans, which Cracked does extremely well with craptions, photoshop contests, round-ups and columns like this one. Websites need those communities, because that is what they sell to advertisers, and that is how they survive and how they explore this fairly uncharted economy that is online content production.
Of course, everyone here bitches about sponsored background images and a few themed articles when they come along, as if that isn’t a very pleasant and unobtrusive approach compared to television commercials or radio ads or popup windows.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:34 pm
okay, i’ll be fair, this was funny. Yet offensive. Come on, just because you didn’t like them does that mean you can ostracize them on a whole article dedicated to them? That said, you’re a sad sad man. kidding about the sad sad man part, you’re awesome dude, but this article is just offensive. (oddly enough though, i play WoW and couldn’t fit myself into those categories)
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:34 pm
“WoW was too hard, so I sold my character to China and bought your wife a tube of asshole bleach. It says it’s strong enough to work on pigs. ”
Ha Ha! That shit was funnier than putting my dick in a blender set to Hadron Collider speed. For that Seanbaby, you deserve that poon you so desperately need.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:33 pm
There comes a time when any journalist, artist, or profession member that channels their talent into a public medium must defend themselves for their convictions.
When that person conveys that defense effectively, and in a form congruent and loyal to the style of their chosen product, it reflects a sort of professionalism and sincerity that are trademarks of the truly gifted.
Speaking of loyalty, I’ve been a fan of your writing since long before you became a write for Cracked. As your fan, an article like the one above is a sign of loyalty to US because it delivers the goods for which we come back regularly.
In doing so, you’ve renewed yourself as my favorite internet author. Thank you for your consistent, funny, reliable work.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:30 pm
And for anyone who wants to criticize the quality of writing? You’re visiting humor sites. Get over yourselves.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Oh, and Viddle, I’m a roleplayer (old school AD&D style), and I’m confident that I could not only pound your ass senseless, but do it without breaking a sweat, so you may wish to rethink that baseless statement.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:27 pm
I’m just amazed at the number of WoW players that actually dared to log out for even a few minutes to not only read an article that successfully describes their sad existence, but also to ironically comment in a way the author writes an article that talks about their inability to take criticism.
And let’s be honest. Warcraft IS as easy to play as it is a colossal waste of time, amplified by the fact that the best strategy to beat anything in the game is to gather people with equally nothing better to do.
If your circle of friends has shrunken from many to none, it’s time to unplug. If you met your present boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife in the fantastical realm of Warcraft, it’s time to eat a gun.
Just sayin’.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Oof.
Even the people defending Seanbaby are getting it wrong: This was a friendly gesture.
I got the same reaming when I first got here and responded to an occasional comment or two. For those of you who aren’t men; this is how men act. We’re rude and insulting and it is not always meant with bile. If you rip on us, we’ll do it back, but that doesn’t mean we’re hurt by your comments or hoping you get hurt by ours.
Seanbaby and I have both come here from having our own websites first, where we’re used to interacting with commenters like they’re more than an audience. I’ve never taken an (angry) comment seriously enough to get upset about it, but I’ve responded plenty of times with insults - it’s the game. It’s a bonding thing. It’s fun, and it builds community….
Sometimes.
Everytime an author rips on somebody here it’s “butthurt this” and “whining” that. Do you honestly think a guy like Seanbaby, who’s been doing this for a decade now, doesn’t understand how the internet works? If he actually got upset everytime he received an insulting comment he would’ve died of a stroke by now. The comments on his WoW piece were just good fodder for this simple insult comedy article. That’s all.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:21 pm
You, seanbaby, are on par with Maddox. both of you rock.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:20 pm
This article makes me extremely paranoid about commenting on Seanbaby articles, for fear of what he will think of me.
However, I have loved every Seanbaby column as far as I remember, so I take comfort in the fact that I will, at worst, be thought as “that idiot who likes my work” and not as one of the dicks in this article.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Deep down inside, she’s still in love with you…………….epic.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:16 pm
@Mike: Yes. Yes I did. ^^’ It seems less a full thought out piece and more a retaliation. But saying that indicates that ‘I just don’t understand the humor’.
So it’s either an author’s vengeful comeback or a comedy piece. If it’s not the former as so many have said, then it’s a comedy piece. Or at least, something that’s trying to pass itself off as one. If he just wanted to make a funny article, why not do so? Why the rigmarole with the calling out of the commentators? Even if we deserved it. ^^’ But there I go again though, just not understanding the subtle humor and jibes contained within.
Strictly speaking, I don’t really dislike Seanbaby’s stuff, this was just one time I didn’t particularly like what he’d written and I made the mistake of saying so in a poorly worded response that has gotten me enshrined above. (Not that I’m complaining about that :3 )
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:15 pm
You forgot one particularly bizarre and terrible species… The apex predator of this hate-fuelled internet ecosystem. It is the emotionally-wounded comedy writer lashing out at those who hurt him with a retaliatory article. This unfortunate creature attempts to disguise his impotent fury and sorrow beneath a thick veneer of “yo’ momma” jokes and rants about rape and homosexual fellatio that lack both creativity and the intended shock value.
That said, I find the stuff on your old site hilarious, especially the Superfriends and Legion of Doom profiles. Even some of your Cracked stuff has been alright, even if it’s not your finest work, and I actually thought the WoW article in question was quite entertaining, if petty at times. But this? C’mon, man, this is beneath you. Not because it’s self-indulgent or anything (that’s a staple of internet comedy, after all), or because it’s needlessly vulgar (ditto), but because it’s not nearly as funny as your usual stuff.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:13 pm
serious*
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:13 pm
Wow, that was pretty accurate. Like for example, you fit PERFECTLY in the “Bling Shit Flinger” category!
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:12 pm
“FUC U SHENBABY THIS ARTICL DOESNT HAVE 12 GOOD JOKE AND UR MOTHER HAHA GO GET LAID ME ON THE OTHER AHDN HAVE 40 BITCHES ASKIN 4 MY COCK BUT IM MARRIED UNLIKE U U INFAITHFULL BASTERD I BET U HAV AN AFAIR EVERY DAY HAHA U IDIOT U SUCK GET OUT OF MY LIFE I H8 U”
I don’t know if you’re serius, but if you are, you fit into almost every category up there.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:11 pm
All right, first off, this shit was hilarious. Second off, no one who plays WoW, or any other MMORPG’s, has a good home life. The game is build like a giant hamster wheel lined with meth, you simply keep going and going…absolutely nowhere. I speak first hand, except my shitty addiction was Everquest, version 1 (yes, it was a long time ago). Lets just say I learned my lesson the hard way, when I found myself without a girlfriend and living in my car. People who play this have no real job, certainly have no wife, and the only way they’d be driving a nice car is if their parents bought it for them (which is ok I suppose, since they’re probably living in their parents basement anyway). Not only that, but since they spend all of their time playing the damn game for years on end, I’m sure their home smells of cans of dried speghetti-o’s, B.O., and unfulfilled dreams. Cheers!
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Hope you weren’t planning on starting some sort of commenter revolution with this one. It looks about the same around here this week too
That article is a beauty though. Sort of like beating a ‘tard at the Special Olympics, but it worked for me. Thanks.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:07 pm
I like Warcraft, but to each his own, I suppose.
Still… what does any of that have to do with pac-man?
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:04 pm
lmao…I never think about all the hate mail writing stuff like this gets you…un fucking believable
good article too, both this one and the WoW one
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Wow. Someone’s gotten fed up with the internet. ouch.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:04 pm
“For a moment, ignoring the ‘it’s meant to be funny’ idea. I just want to question then, why this article was even made,…”
Did you just ask a guy who writes comedy for Cracked.com why he wrote a comedy article for Cracked.com?
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Type 11: The ones with internet columns.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:01 pm
@greatwhitenate: Can’t say I agree with that assessment. I play on an RP/PvP server. Read it: AN RP/PvP SERVER. Even the regular WoW nerds consider roleplayers nerdy losers. And yes, I’m in an RP guild. We’ve been doing Ulduar 10/25 five for a while now. No, we don’t raid as often as other guilds, but the point is, most of our members don’t play all that often and we still find time to squeeze a raid in twice a week.
I’ll stop now, I think my pasty white genitalia are showing. :\
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Ah… nothing like some putrid, ad homenim bile to cleanse the spirit. Reading this kind of thing keeps me from punching random people.
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:00 pm
You know, seanbaby, what’s really funny about this article is how true it is. The article does a rather good job predicting exactly the sort of idiots who responded to the article. They are filled with righteous indignation that you would dare insult, err, people just like them.
———-
Its kind of like a game. Find an outraged comment, then you get to decide which type of idiot category that person belongs in.
———-
For example, Antihistamine says:
“It really just seemed like an ego-stroke, SeanBaby, or a desperate defense for writing a sub-par article last time (and I don’t even play WoW, so don’t give me that shit). And now that I think about it, I really can’t remember any time I’ve actually enjoyed your articles. Huh.”
I would have to place him solidly in the Secret Rival category. He hates you, but is secretly begging for a bath in your sperm. Antihistamine would be the guy in prison who drops his soap on purpose so he can rave and scream about the unsatisfactory gang rape afterwards.
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Wait wait wait, which one will “realize” that this article was a response to their insults so now they are under your skin shitfuck
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:54 pm
honestly, i’ve been on wow since about patch 1.12, and i have to agree with everything from last weeks article, not everyone plays regularly enough to be the top .02% of the game and join elite raid guilds. which seems to be a recurring theme in the comments. for those of us who have lives outside of wow(who am i kidding, amirite?) raid’s are like trying to herd cats.
also, pig strength anal bleach?
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:54 pm
“Wow, 3000+ words of internet butthurt dressed as an article. Don’t tell me they paid you for this.”
Judging by your smugness, I’m assuming that someone does in fact, pay YOU to count the words in comedic articles on the internet?
Are they hiring?
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:53 pm
I liked the WoW article. The people who didn’t fall into three categories, in my opinion:
-butthurt WoW players who inspire all the articles on “Losing Your Life to Video Games”
-people who think only their own brand of funny is appealing. These tend to be the same people who aren’t funny to anyone but themselves.
-people with legitimate reasons not to like it. It simply wasn’t their cup of tea, and that’s cool.
seanbaby, you’re quite the master of the humorous tale known to these interwebz as a “Cracked article.” Don’t let ‘em get to you.
In summation, I find this retort in the form of a list to be lulzy. 10/10, would read again.
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Miko is teh noobZ. L3rN to pleigh yur class, noobzorz!1!!one!!!eleven!!!
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Fantastic. You know what’s best? All the people you just cussed felt compelled to comment just to prove how right you are! It’s almost as if they’re in on the joke and this was one elaborate set-up all along… hmmm…
Great article though
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:48 pm
Even when it’s just low-brow counter-ranting, Seanbaby’s wordsmithing is still tops. Let’s hope this teaches people to lighten up!
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Great Article Sean
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:41 pm
Fuck. A typo. There goes my credibility.
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:35 pm
I’m saving some your insults for my own my repertoire. Very good article, although I can sense some pain deep down, like you actually got your feelings hurt. Well, I’m just going to say right now that you’re still my second favorite Cracked columnist (after Swaim, of course, but who doesn’t love him?). Keep your eyes on the prize and don’t let some anonymous assholes get to you.
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:28 pm
For a moment, ignoring the ‘it’s meant to be funny’ idea. I just want to question then, why this article was even made, if indeed, it’s a small showcase of commenter types and comments you don’t personally agree with or find repellent used for humorous ends, why does it strike that all you want is some kind of mental fellatio to be performed on you? (Though it could just be the fans performing such acts of their own volition.)
I know the old adage: If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. But this is the internet, you yourself stated as such in the intro to this little piece, not everyone is going to like your work. But that doesn’t mean endless and uncritical praise is a good thing either, nice as it may feel.
I guess I need to re-iterate: All I meant was that I thought, and still think, is that SMB: WoW article was too long and the jokes too widely spaced. ‘Too long, not enough funny’. Some of it was funny, you make note and tear into many of the duds who abound in WoW. I just didn’t think it was amazing, good for a small laugh, not much else. Then, I play WoW, I’m probably just jaded with any humor referring to it.
And again, though the earlier comments seem to be deleted, I’m still flattered at being quoted and await my Rape Monkey. A new one now, I don’t like the used kind, they’ve got issues.
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:26 pm
omg
o m g
OMG THAT WAS SO AWESOME
You are godddddddddddddddddd
I have a penis DO U WANT IT
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:24 pm
Haha, next you should do the ten species of general commenters on the internet. I think I’d be a parallel to the ‘Dick Mentor’? The, uh…
… Pussy Mentor?
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:20 pm
This article is further proof that the majority of World of Warcraft fans have no sense of humor. Thanks Seanbaby.
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Wow, 3000+ words of internet butthurt dressed as an article. Don’t tell me they paid you for this.
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:18 pm
This was a hilarious article, almost as good as the WoW/SMB one.
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:16 pm
FUC U SHENBABY THIS ARTICL DOESNT HAVE 12 GOOD JOKE AND UR MOTHER HAHA GO GET LAID ME ON THE OTHER AHDN HAVE 40 BITCHES ASKIN 4 MY COCK BUT IM MARRIED UNLIKE U U INFAITHFULL BASTERD I BET U HAV AN AFAIR EVERY DAY HAHA U IDIOT U SUCK GET OUT OF MY LIFE I H8 U
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:16 pm
You forgot one type of commenter:
The guy who has achieved a decent amount of credibility as a comedian, but is still so insecure about his writing that he feels compelled to waste space on Cracked with a long, angry article to the people who didn’t like his last one.
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:13 pm
I read the previous article and while I enjoyed it it didn’t have me laughing uncontrollably as this one did, Bravo
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:13 pm
haters gettin served. I love the smell of it. VICTORY.
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:13 pm
“I don’t want to sound like a nerd, but I’ll learn how to masturbate in Klingon before I put my dick in something that can’t have fun watching Ghostbusters.”
Well really, no one should ever have to sink that low.
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Seriously though, try removing all the “yo momma” and “you’re a homosexual” jokes from this article. There’s nothing left.
What will you do when you encounter someone who _is_ gay and who’s mother you _have_ fucked? They’ll be immune to your entire armoury!
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:08 pm
I hope you had a cigarette after writing this Seanbaby. You deserve it.
MrCheezy,
“Author of Overly Angry and Lengthy Critique that Nobody Will Ever Read nor Care About” is correct. And believe me when I say that I just skimmed your “critique”. I assume you are trying to get yourself into Seanbaby’s next article. Good luck.
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Yeah, I swear I won’t comment again, but seriously guys, this was not an article about the ten types of commenters, that was just a ruse to set up the funny stuff, dont come here and be like, “what about this kind of commenter?this list aint complete,” etc.
;;
hey Jake? Looking for a payoff? how about when I pay off your mom for all the blowjobs?
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Ah, the old “I fucked your mother” combined with “you’re gay”. Truly the bleeding edge of witty retorts. You’ve totally got our number.
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Jesus fucking Christ, the butthurt in this article massively overpowered anything that might have been funny about it. I mean, it’s pretty bad, guy. If you were going for a sarcastic undercut to the flamers, you failed horrifically. It doesn’t really help to argue your case that all of your supporters in the comments both from here and the WoW article have turned this debacle into one huge circlejerk, in which you are the ringleader.
It really just seemed like an ego-stroke, SeanBaby, or a desperate defense for writing a sub-par article last time (and I don’t even play WoW, so don’t give me that shit). And now that I think about it, I really can’t remember any time I’ve actually enjoyed your articles. Huh.
Why do you have your own column again?
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:59 pm
“I don’t want to sound like a nerd, but I’ll learn how to masturbate in Klingon before I put my dick in something that can’t have fun watching Ghostbusters. ”
Not your greatest article, but still better than every non-Seanbaby thing this site puts out.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:58 pm
ROFLECOPTER EPIC FAIL LONGCAT COCKMONGLER ANONYMOUS DOES NOT FORGIVE!!!!111
I just owned the shit out of this article.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:57 pm
This comments section is pretty much “People vs. Kanye”.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Another great article seanbaby. Keep ‘em coming.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:56 pm
That was fantastic, sir. WRITE MOAR.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Nice one bro. Who knew uninspired backlash (or vehemently inspired…which is a much more depressing case) could make for such awesome comedy material? Truly innovative work…I just thought maybe the Cracked community would be slightly better than YouTube in terms of level of intelligence or maturity, but you don’t always get what you want, eh?
P.S. - “Sotp bein h8rs yall.” (Let the criticism commence!)
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Anyone in the comments section accusing Seanbaby of just taking out his anger on trolls doesn’t quite get the point of a humor article.
Or, they don’t get the humor inherent in morons who get bent out of shape by comedy writing.
The job of a comedy writer is to take the normal and shine a spotlight onto its juicy bits, highlighting the ridiculous in doing so. Odds are, someone’s going to get offended in the process, but you know what? If people are mature, they can understand that others will find their actions absurd/insane/odd/comical, live with it, and move on. If they’re not, then they deserve every ounce of ridicule that they get. The comedy writer, in turn, understands that not all of his actions will appeal to a given audience, but takes that risk in putting his/her best foot forward.
Anyone who sets foot into a comedy site/publication without understanding that agreement between audience and author needs to make an immediate U-Turn to the safety of less bold entertainment sources until they are ready to handle contrasting opinions.
Seanbaby’s article fulfilled this spectrum quite nicely, and, truth be told, it was really funny (in the opinion of this reader, and apparently many others). No, it was not just complaining about dissenting opinion; it was highlighting the inane for the sake of humor.
Also, BIG FLOPPY DICKS.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Dude… I thought this was funny but solely because I wasn’t mentioned in it. I think I might’ve freaked if I saw ‘Tartra’ anywhere up there. Sorry you got pissed off so much. I guess when everyone’s sitting behind a computer, they think they’re talking to a screen… or something…
Anyway, uh… please don’t hate us, I laughed at the article but the whole thing was really angry (and scared me a little) and… I’ll see you at your next article.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:54 pm
did i accidentally misclick my way to myspace?
so much whine, so much whine in response to the whine and even more whine inbetween.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:48 pm
I actually like reading writers’ responses to annoying, hateful commenters. There is no accountability for the hate that is spewed on a daily basis by people who refuse to be coherent or funny (oh how they try!), just really butthurt. If you’re a Warcraft player/fan you should expect to be reamed on by a comedy writer. Its the same if you happen to be Republican, Christian, Twilight fan, a Harry Potter fan, Chris Mencia fan (!) etc. Its all fair game. For example, I like the Harry Potter books and I find the articles totally hilarious but if there was a chance that I would be offended by them then I would abstain from reading the article. Its just comedy, for fucks sake.
There is a reason why I look forward to reading your stuff. Keep it up, SB.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Loved it.
That is all.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:43 pm
What next?
Learning grammar with minesweeper?
Just kidding. You rock Sean
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:42 pm
It was pretty funny. I really like the ongoing use of video game imagery. I was a little disappointed though that the specific examples didn’t really seem to showcase the weird troll tics described so well. I recognize the types too; maybe if it hadn’t been limited to the responses to the last article there would have been more to pick from.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Its funny how seanbaby described the commenters yet they still have something shitty to say about the article.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:40 pm
not a very funny article. unfortunate, because it is rather well-written with what would probably be very good jokes in an article that wasn’t as boring as watching paint dry.
actually, i think that this very website had an article on troll comments that reads startlingly similar to this one, as well as any other article that has been written about trolls since 2003 [an arbitrary date, but it's probably still true]. also, the busy critic section makes no sense. i understand why you would “humorously” mislabel girl who wants to fuck me, but the whole idea of busy critic was supposed to be that the person didn’t have the time to read all of the article. based on the example you provide/attack, that isn’t the case at all. did your creativity strain by the time you got to what should have been the beginning of your writing session, wherein you were deciding exactly what the 10 species of angry commenter were?
regardless, i would give this articles 2 out of 10 stars, for unoriginality, repetitiveness, and for rather unorganized material despite being a list on a website that specializes in making lists. even your Van Damme article a couple weeks ago, while not very funny, was at least enjoyable to read because it was an interesting topic and was pleasantly written. this article was just bad.
while i’m at it, i’d like to collectively ask commenters like “Grimore” and those like him to go fuck themselves for considering this an original article. being incredibly kind, i will say that this article offers a unique spin on what is already an incredibly tired topic simply because it is written around unique user comments. understand what is “a very original idea” before you let the writer think he did well when in fact he sucked. there was probably a more eloquent way to word that last sentence, but i’m getting tired of being an angry, anonymous, and completely guiltless troll.
Oh, file me under…secret rival? I’m not sure, i think that you left out an “Author of Overly Angry and Lengthy Critique that Nobody Will Ever Read nor Care About” category [or maybe something like "Stephen King's Retarded Brother Begging for Attention"]. Or I might have qualified for the angsty unfunner. anyway, i’ll end by saying one more fuck you to you for making me continue to lose faith in this site’s ability to be as funny as i tell people it is.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:38 pm
anyway i’m done, yer a douchbag and should prolly stop bein such a whinny little girl .
Trust me, I’d love to stop acting like a little whiny girl, but it’s the only way your wife can get off. I think it’s because deep down… she’s still in love with you.
- …. Got damn. Lmao.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Meh, it was sort of funny in certain parts (The Amateur Communicator was the only one) but in general you’re just being an asshole D:
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Btw, what’s with all the dickiots hating on this article?
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:33 pm
Seanbaby did this article not only because it was probably fun as shit for him to combine a little revenge and what I thought was an efficient analysis of angry commenters (as much as I expect from a fucking COMEDY site) - but because it was fucking hilarious.
Insult comedy at its lowest form? Please - what comedian doesn’t offend some group of people at some point, and on top of that, why the fuck are people reading a site notorious for putting its foot up the ass of, well, anything they can think of, and end up ticked about it at the end of the day?
I don’t understand, and don’t want to.
Seanbaby, brillliant article, fucking awesome, you earned your paycheck with this one. ^^
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Oops. 90% sure I had all those people on my ignore list when I played WoW. Excuse me.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:28 pm
I laughed so hard , milk shot out my nose, but I’m lactose intolerant, and haven’t drank milk in 20 years, weird huh?
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Yup I’m 90% I had all of those people on my ignore list when I played WoW. Good articles Seanbaby.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:27 pm
I never laughed so hard as when i read your reply to PODs letter.Its like you just start off the articles as a nice guy explaining some concept, then immediately turns insane.You called that guy a first term abortion, i laughed so much i think i sharted, oh wait….brb
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Good old Seanbaby…Over the past few articles we’ve grown to love him. Both articles were great, in my opinion.
And most of the haters are people who feel a need to respond based on their own insecurities. So you struck a nerve there. But perhaps this is a case of TROLLS TROLLING TROLLS TROLLING TROLLS. Nonetheless, keep it up.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:20 pm
ouch…..
Very funny article.
More please
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:17 pm
Just had to leave an utterly pointless comment telling everyone how much awesome I think this post contained.
LOTS.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:11 pm
It petered off at the end, but I was in stitches by the time I got to the description of “the Alien Visitor”. Well done.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Wow Seanbaby is on fire. Took them fools to school.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Fuck you.. that’s how i feel
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:09 pm
…I love you.
Yes, I play WoW. Yes, I can take a joke. And yes, I love laughing at people who can’t.
Keep up the great work, those idiots deserve it.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:09 pm
You’ve been saving this card for a long time. Sometimes, we all just have to let it out. Slightly dickish at times, but all in self defense, so it’s fine. Congratulations, you’ve earned my seal of approval. It’s not worth a damn thing, but you’ve got it kid!
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:07 pm
I am a lurker and daily reader of silly comedy stylings on Cracked. I felt the need to actually respond that your articles are my very favorite - I do a little Seanbaby dance when I see an article of yours.
That is all. Just keep writing, please.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:04 pm
I wonder how these categories of ‘people’ would feel now after reading this…
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:04 pm
The warcraft article was a masterpiece and I daresay this one was even better. Hats off to you Sean.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:03 pm
It’s just a video game…..
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:02 pm
but I’ll learn how to masturbate in Klingon before I put my dick in something that can’t have fun watching Ghostbusters.
am i to understand you now wank off in klingon?
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:01 pm
NERDRAGE NERDRAGE NERDRAGE, bwahahaha this is hilarious. or to put it in WoW terms for you all less QQ more pew pew.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Seriously, that was awesome. Even better than the WoW article.
And i don’t get why people are upset about Seanbaby knowing about WoW and saying its hypocrisy.
He played it. He didn’t like it. He wrote an article making fun of it. How is that hard to understand?
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Why don’t we all just relax? This is the internet, people! Reality exists, in case you weren’t sure, and arguing about arguing on the internet really has no bearing on your life… or so I hope.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:00 pm
You tell ‘em, Seanbaby.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Hey Seanbaby, don’t feed the trolls, man.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:00 pm
You sir are a true scholar.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:58 pm
The funniest part is people are still hating on him after he clearly laid out the types of haters…
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:57 pm
well done.
takes utter ownage to a new level of asshole ripping.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Sorry but i have to agree with Pedgerow. The Super Mario article was fucking hillarious, but this was just you raging over other peoples rage.
The only thing i can agree with you on is how people took that so seriously. I mean, what the fuck? I play WoW and so does my brother but we BOTH thought it was funny as hell and not insulting at all. Those people that took it as insulting need to take their dick out of their own ass.
This article = Junk/Rage
SMB article = Pure golden awesome
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:55 pm
I fucking loved it.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:55 pm
I have definitely ticked off almost every type of person described in the above article in this comment section, often several different types merged into one person. I think the point of this post went over many people’s heads.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Good, Seanbaby! Your hate has made you powerful. Now, fulfill your destiny at my side…
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:53 pm
I for one loved the original Wow article. I almost cried laughing several times and found several good quotes to use later. This was just as good, keep up the good work.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Dude!
Although it is pretty funny that WoW players got angry about “understanding wow using mario”, your replies (i.e. this article) are incredibly weak. Article is boring, doesn’t have a single good joke, and your counterarguments are not witty enough to make it interesting. It is far worse than original “mario” article that already was only mediocre. You are basically use a lot of swearing and personal attacks, which is incredibly uninteresting. I bet you could make MUCH better text - if you tried hard enough.
Besides there is alredy better description of angry commentors (though it doesn’t include your “girl that wants to fuck”, it describes something between 50 and 100 types people). It is called “Flame warriors”, has illustrations, and is available here:
http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:51 pm
I thought the WOW article was funny but, jesus christ, this one just seems sad. You’re picking fights with trolls in the most insecure and dickish way i’ve ever seen.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:48 pm
Man this was funny! I especially like the part where people angrily comment on this article and irony ensues.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:47 pm
I think I typed a misspeeling somewheres.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:45 pm
“You’re like if masturbate to fat celebrities and then died from crack! LOL and then you did!”
Epic quote. Oh Seanbaby, you never fail to make me laugh. Be proud of yourself! Also, I have tits and a vagina! Whatcha gonna do about that???
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Once again, i must compliment you. I read both the wow article and this one: both were excellent. And oh how truly amusing it is to see so many negative comments on this article made by sad little ppl who have failed, once again, to read this for its entertainment value and realize that you are not bitching at people, but rather offering just one more great article to pass the time with.
And on a side note, this article shows us that you really do read and appreciate the comments of your readers (good and bad), not just brush it all off to the side without a second thought. My thanks to you, and please keep up the great work =D … also, a quick question for you… horde or alliance??
haha
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:43 pm
I have hating for this words you speaked!
Why does you make this bad?
Mine parents is dead.
You jokes am ungood.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:42 pm
I liked the Super Mario/Warcraft article, but I hated this. It wasn’t funny, it was just petty. It doesn’t belong as an article; it belongs in the comments section of the Super Mario article, where it would be one of those long bitching rants that nobody reads. I can insult people on the Internet too, and while I might not be particularly funny while I do it, I can’t possibly imagine it’s even feasible to be any less funny than this.
Too long; read it anyway, because I’m not the Busy Critic.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:42 pm
i dont get people (kids) who think that warcraft or CS is a skill. like, when a guy with two chicks and a car comes to a internet caffe, beats 10 people in pool and then takes a comp to play Counter S and he gets beaten a few times in a row and the nerds are like N00B!!!1 hahaha, loseeerrrr
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:41 pm
That totally su– oh… my bad.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Awesome article. I’ve been reading your work since your EGM days, and it’s still golden.
Keep up the good work.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Down there I said fuking. It’s pronounced fooking, and is totally a word - I promise. I AM INCAPABLE OF BAD SPELLING.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:40 pm
One of the funniest articles i’ve read on cracked. Very well done.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:40 pm
LOL @ all the neckbeard rage in the comments on this article.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Oh and fuck all the bitches who didn’t get it, that was spot on perfect for describing WOW.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Mr. Baby
Thank you.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:39 pm
I play WoW almost 18 hours a day (I shit you not). Currently sitting in all-but-4-pieces of 226 ilvl tanking gear on my DK.
Seanbaby is fuking hilarious anyways. I can only see his articles being offensive if you have some deep-seeded complex that isn’t even WoW-related. And even then it’s a reach.
Seanbaby = funny. The best one on the SMB WoW one was “Part 3 times 5″ I cried for a good few minutes before properly finishing that segment. And I don’t have tits. <3 (Back to Strand)
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:39 pm
I gotta agree with Avi here. Dude, just let it go. Everyone gets trolled, you’re the only one who posts an angry response, and it seems to me that other columnists look more confident and professional by just ignoring them. I loved the WoW article, but this is just a tantrum in prose.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:39 pm
I’m not going to feed this fire by commenting on this article
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:38 pm
@Gabriel,
Like The guy below me says, you’re giving him too much credit. You have the expectation that he is indeed making a joke here. He isn’t. I won’t claim that I’m the smartest guy around, because if I was I wouldn’t be anywhere near Seanbaby shit. I actually enjoyed the article last week. I really did. In fact, it was the first one I ever read here and the one that pulled me in to stay. But this is not some sort of complex joke that I’m too ignorant to miss. It’s insult comedy at its lowest. And considering that you’re trying to label me as ignorant, I find it funny that you assume I’m someone else because I recently arrived here. What can be more ignorant than guessing at who I am? You’re certainly entitled to your opinion of this article. And I am mine.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Damn, I shoulda been an ignorant prick then I could have been quoted in a Cracked article, oh well guess that one will stay on the ole’ bucket list a bit longer.
God damn cheese weasel!
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:35 pm
i agree with nspan. Oh and I have tits as well. And a vagina. ooooh!!!!
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Alright, so, this following comment probably falls under one of the above categories, but I’m going to speak anyways.
While your previous WoW article was a little more offensive than funny (though some jokes were good), this one could have been better. You pretty much responded to troll posts with more trolling. I wanted to read an article, but ended up reading something more akin to a 4chan forum discussion.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:30 pm
I can’t help but wonder how people can really believe that he’s doing anything more than just soothing his hurt feelings here. I read the World of Warcraft article and loved it, but I can’t imagine that the guy who wrote it is capable of any sort of comedy that requires thought.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:29 pm
I’ve always hated these kinds of assholes, so I’m glad someone spoke up. Of course, it has been done before, but this article did it really well.
Keep up the good work, and I look forward to your next article
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:29 pm
I thought the first guy’s comment “Are you a dick or an asshole?” was spot on. I mean you made a blanket statement about WoW players which wasn’t really fair, but it was for comedy right? So people should just laugh and move on. Then Detective douchebag, or whatever you named him made an unfair statement about you, as you would have had to play the game in order to say anything intelligent about it, but as you said, anyone who plays it is either a dick or an asshole. It was a funny statement, deal with it.
Also the ironic thing here is that your response was more full of hateful trollishness than was the commenter’s. You’ve just become what Michael Moore is to Right-wing propaganda.
p.s. Sorry to bring up politics when it wasn’t part of the article, as Cracked commenters love to do. I just thought the analogy worked.
p.p.s I am not a WoW player
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:29 pm
@ Phillionaire: No, you’re just #8. A perfect example thereof. The archetype, the platonic ideal. Not only do you not get the joke, but while failing to do so, you honestly seem to imagine that your massive intellect has rendered it impossible that you could’ve missed something. Trust me: failing to comprehend something isn’t a sign of intelligence.
And yes, I know, “Oh, um, I got the joke alright. It just wasn’t funny.”
No. No, you didn’t. You have described the article as a “result of dedicating an entire article to angry responses to those who don’t worship you” which makes pretty clear that you’ve failed to get the joke. Even if you were intelligent enough to get it, you’d probably realize that different people find different things funny, but you didn’t do that. You missed the joke, so like most stupid people failing to notice something, you simply assumed that it wasn’t there.
And then you actually made a post positing that this lack of intelligence made you smarter than everyone else.
Please do keep posting, though. There’s something positively fascinating about watching opinionated yet completely ignorant people.
Actually . . . given the abrupt shift in tone from “I’m a genius when it comes to comedy, and therefore can determine with 100% accuracy that my failure to find the joke in the above means that it doesn’t exist, and it’s meant to be taken at face value” to “he’s a butthurt fag lol” and the fact that the name Phillionaire doesn’t show up very often prior to this . . . which of the 10 were you? You actually were PuddleOfAids, weren’t you? I knew it. #8.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:28 pm
I really enjoyed that article.
Keep ‘em coming, Seanbaby!
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:27 pm
I can’t tell if he is seriously hurt or just fucking around.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Seanbaby is, now and forever, my comedy-writing hero. Internet or otherwise.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Liked the WoW one a whole bunches, made it half way thru this one. Fuck the haters and stick to whatever formula you had been using lately, cause thats that stuff that made me jizz a lil bit with each sentence.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:24 pm
SeanBaby: Don’t get me wrong–I still want to have your SeanBaby. But let’s all just move on. You wrote one mediocre article, big deal. Let’s not dwell on it anymore. Instead of slowly self-destructing by lowering yourself to the level of actually READING the comments section, why not focus on coming up with your next ingenious column that I can proceed to forward to everybody I know.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:22 pm
This was fucking brilliant. And it’s depressing quite how much and how often the point is being missed in the comments. (If you’re annoyed at me saying that, then I’m almost certainly talking about you.)
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:22 pm
I’m not sure which is more brilliant, your original article or your point by point demolition of the nerdragers, but by GAWD, man, this is a great pair of articles!
Honestly, though, if you’ve ever spent any time at all on the WoW forums you had to know this was coming…
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:22 pm
As I look through these comments, I’m finding perfect examples of the people mocked in this article…no wonder there’s so much bitching…
Also, he’s not whining about people criticizing his comments, he’s slapping their whiny faces with a giant dildo of humor, and a slice of cherry pie
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Apparently, since you dont have to create an account to post in the columnists blogs, all the ugly little WoW players decided to strike back.
Have you ever tought about, I dont know…not visiting this site?
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Hahah! It’s pretty funny reading the comments, and see those type of people in them.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:20 pm
8====~
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:17 pm
i love this article because it hits the nail on the head for internet bitchers and whiners
thank you
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:17 pm
No srsly, I’ve given seanbaby a fair chance and I can honestly say he is not even close to funny. Not once did I laugh reading any of his articles. This one is just him being a whiny little baby calling out all the people who hurt his widdle feewings. I think the ‘putting your dick in a meat grinder’ was a great lol, so go do that, maybe u’ll get a laugh from me.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Another great article from SB, I’m glad I’m not any of those people.
I don’t understand why people complain on sites like this, it’s all free, so there’s really no reason to complain.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:15 pm
I’m amazed that so many people can get angry at something on a comedy website. What’s wrong with making fun of a video game? There’s an article on this website that tears the Metal Gear Solid series a new one, and I found it hilariously on the mark even though I really like the series. The same thing goes for all the articles on Dungeons & Dragons. Why is it so difficult for people to laugh at the things they enjoy?
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:14 pm
I’m going to pull out an Angsty Unfunner, or maybe the Girl Who Wants to Fuck me, minus the fucking. You seem pretty pissy in this rage-y article, which sort of leads to the assumption that you’re acting like a PMSing bitch who can’t take the hate. Still, liked the article.
Personally, I love most to all of your articles. Just sayin’. If I didn’t enjoy an article, I wouldn’t read it. Certainly wouldn’t comment.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Thought both articles were great. It sucks that people can’t take a little joking around. Oh well, thats what you get when you sit in a chair for an endless string of hours, neglecting all social events, people in general, and sunshine because you are too busy running around in a fake world, doing things that hold no real value in the REAL world.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:13 pm
(The illustration on the last one was the best)
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:12 pm
That was awesome. I have to admit, I’ve always wanted to see that happen.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:11 pm
“you first term abortion”
Boss-a-fucking-nova.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Hahahahahahaha. . .Can I eat the shit off of your dick yet??????
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Nice rant. I agree in that every single of those comments you posted are actually very stupid. I mean, the WoW article was funny because it’s soo true, and what hurts more than insults..? yep the truth.
So then all of these angry nerds go on a personal crusade against anyone who talks bad about WoW players because they are WoW players and they don’t want no one to talk bad about em.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Wow, an article making fun of internet trolls. How original!
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Moar!
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:06 pm
I read this entire article even though it was about as enjoyable as reading a Liberal / Conservative flame-war on Fark. (Edited about as well too)
I didn’t enjoy reading it, but I read it hoping for some sort of payoff. It never happened.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Dude, don’t justify idiots with responses.
You’re a funny guy. Get back to the real meat. This just sorta made me angry at the people you were talking about, because now they’ll feel like their word vomit is actually making a difference.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Man, I’ve been choke-laughing over your articles since you were in “The Wave” magazine, but this seems less like a humor piece and more like a knee-jerk lash-out at your detractors. Still funny, but goddamn. You should have a thicker skin than this.
Unless of course, the whole point of the article was to illustrate how pathetic flame wars are, in which case, game, set, and motherfucking MATCH.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:02 pm
Hilarious!! In a Dustin Diamond, Michael Richards sort of way. I’m a big fan of using put-down sarcasm, biting jabs, and defensive bickering all in one bundle of unnecessary bark-fighting. Who needs to actually be funny to be a “humorist” these days? If you tell people it’s humor, it IS humor by gawd. And you told us several times that you are writing a humor piece - just in case some of those “other” people were confused. Seriously.
Just like an English orthodontist, people like you are needed but rarely called upon. Now, if only your comparative would be like you, and run into the streets with bloody pliers and yell, “I’m here! Come Get it!” Keep it up until people get you.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Valeran, a butthurt faggot wrote the article. What do you expect?
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:01 pm
You idiots take the tone of the article at face value. You really believe Seanbaby is perturbed by these people? God help me.
PS-I’ve only read the first 3 entries so far but highlights included the “father’s colon parts” metaphor thingie and the Pac-Man artwork with the broken humor device was absolutely brilliant.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Bwahaha, you got the idiots to do the same thing in the reply field here. Seanbaby, you are awesome.. more people need to lighten up and understand your humor.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Seems like the butthurt faggots are coming out to comment on this one.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Not the funniest, but certainly one of the most enjoyable. Two thumbs up.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:55 pm
The fact that you have to sacrifice humor in order to stroke your massive ego only reinforces the argument that you don’t deserve a column. Frankly, you suck at this. Only the most weak-minded idiots could enjoy this. That’s right, run-of-the-mill idiots think they are too good for your verbal excrement. You may label me specie #11 if you want, but realistically speaking that’s your position as a result of dedicating an entire article to angry responses to those who don’t worship you. I’m happy with #12.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:53 pm
This is the article I was waiting for: a no-holds-barred raping of the all the forms of confrontational dipshits on Cracked. You da best, mang.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:48 pm
please stop being so butthurt, you have to expect this kind of thing when you publish anything online. However, its still 30x better than comments on a youtube video.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Yeowch. Angry, much? I personally didn’t find the WoW article funny, but didn’t comment, just brushed it off and said, okay, random article I didn’t like in a sea of funny stuff. But, this? Angry and vindictive, I can’t believe Cracked published it…
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:48 pm
When you talked, in the last article, about the Ogre casting his “Throw Rock” spell I died laughing. IMMA THROWING A ROCK AT YOU! That and the section on loot distribution were fucking priceless. Honestly, it felt like the article was actually funnier if you played WoW, especially if you’ve ever raided. I wonder if any non-wow people would really understand and appreciate the fail that is Trade channel.
Ahh, good times.
BTW, this article sucks and you suck and everything you do sucks and will always suck no matter what. Also, what server did you play on?
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:46 pm
That article sounded like something an angry commenter would write in a flame war.
No real arguments, funny or otherwise. Just a bunch of personal attacks.
Maybe that is what you were going for.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:44 pm
“Trust me, I’d love to stop acting like a little whiny girl, but it’s the only way your wife can get off. I think it’s because deep down… she’s still in love with you. ”
Greatest. Comeback. Ever.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:42 pm
Great article…
Cheese Weasel.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:42 pm
No Seanbaby, you don’t understand women, which is unfortunate, because around 48% of your readers are female. Look it up.
Also, Ishmael didn’t hate the whale, Ahab did. Crack a fucking book sometime, dude.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:41 pm
@Slappy:
Yeah, but it was fuckin’ funny. THAT’S the point.
Seanbaby, your articles continue to nearly kill me. One of these days I’m going to asphyxiate from laughing so hard. And truthfully, that’s how I want to go.
M
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Sean, you just spent an entire article engaging in a flame war with the comments section of your last article- why let these people get to you? The internet is full of retards- they’re obnoxious, they’re not funny, and they’re not going away because you argue with them. Fortunately, you’re under no obligation to respond, or to even read what they have to say.
This article was much less entertaining than the last one, precisely because it came off as desperate and defensive. When you argue with hecklers, you lower yourself to their level. You’ve just become the internet equivalent of Michael Richards. Not a good place to be.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Defensive are we? HAHAHAHA
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Bravo, sir! Your articles keep getting better and better. Lay into the haters more often, I haven’t laughed like that in a while, nor have I seen a minotaur burn be successful. Kudos!
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Alabaster asshole - AWESOME!! You rock you master wordsmith you!! I know not to get in an insult fight with you. Very high levels of badass-ity!!
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Ishmael wasn’t the one who hated the whale; that was Ahab.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:35 pm
This was at least 17 kinds of awesome. Created a digg account and dugg.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Wow Senababy, that is just angry. There’s no humor in this article, it’s just one long, bitter diatribe on hating people who hate you and acting like your better for it.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Sean, you upset the nerds, its no wonder they were going to vent. I can imagine why you would have felt a little defensive but really, your articles are awesome and anyone that can’t handle WoW being mocked probably doesn’t ever get enough sun to ever have to worry about.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Awesome freaking article man! My eyes were tearing from how hard I was laughing! GREAT, JOLLY-GOOD, FUCKING SHOW!
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Good stuff, I have to stop reading this shit at work before I laugh so hard I shit myself and have to explain my requisition request for a new chair. I knew that there were people addicted to WOW but God help them… I hope heaven has a LAN
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:32 pm
I can certainly see that a lot of people are going to dislike this, but I rarely comment on cracked but I’m actually going to. I quite enjoyed this. The humour of this will likely go over a lot of people’s heads (which is hardly surprising considering the comments you recieved before.)
It really is sad that when people feel offended over a COMEDY ARTICLE that they resort to “you need to get laid” or “you suck at the game” comments.
But hey, just shows how some people really are just too into the game.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:28 pm
@Mayo: There were plenty of comments. They seem to have mysteriously vanished. Probably some program that deletes them if they run on too long. Probably
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Yeah, I agree with Slappy. As much fun as it is to dismantle the dicksmacks who treat WoW as a religion (and angrily defend said religion), they’re just not worth the time and energy given to the article.
That being said, the ‘female gamer who must make her gender known’ is hilarious. You have different reproductive organs than I do?? And you’re taking part in a pasttime where your gender isn’t as well-represented??! AMAZING!! Fuck Jackie Robinson, I have a new hero!
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:24 pm
A very original idea for an article, it does make an interesting change to have a cracked writer directly address the retard demographic, and I for one found it fucking hilarious.
I’d tell you to ignore all the sad little people who claim you take this too seriously, but I wouldn’t want to deny you material for another article.
Keep writing, I’ll keep reading.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:23 pm
Ha, very nice. Surprising that there are no comments here.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:20 pm
You made me choke on my cola.
Great article!
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:19 pm
I love these, because when you read the comments you can pick out each type of commenter.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:14 pm
I haven’t read a seanbaby article yet that I haven’t liked.
I don’t normally suffer trolls, but it’s always nice to see someone tear them apart from time to time.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:13 pm
You read these comments? I’m a long time fan and if I ever run into you on the street, I’m buying you a beer. Thanks for making me laugh, brother!
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Wow! I used to come to cracked for the humor. Now it’s turning into a pissing contest. Sean, come on man, you don’t really need to waste good article space pointing out how some people are dimwits do you? A lot of us can already see that. Really, the last thing I want to read about when I come to Cracked is the comments section. I can totally understand why you made this post, but you’re funnier than taking defenseless idiots down a notch. Seriously, I don’t want to read about the comments section, I’d rather read about some funny shit. although the line “WoW was too hard, so I sold my character to China and bought your wife a tube of asshole bleach. It says it’s strong enough to work on pigs”. literally had me spewing Pepsi out my nose, that was fucking awesome
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Wow….
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Ahhh Sean….it’s been a long battle..but you have my heart…~whisper~ you have my heart…..
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Don’t forget Megan Fox’s NEW poke! http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1292175/ She’s lovin’ ‘em older boys!