Much as it pains me to bring up my secret shame yet again, events of the day have forced my hand. Today is Election Day in Canada, where all* Canadians go to the polls to elect a new government.
*here I’m using “all” in the metric sense, which comes out to about 48%.
Now, I understand full well that this website has primarily an American audience, and that if you guys aren’t reading about hot Vice Presidents or the lamest Garbage Pail Kid cards of all time or some such, then you’re not happy. So I won’t get into the particular issues of this election, and bore you all with details of the proposed changes to whale oil tariffs, and harsher sentences for polar bears and so on. What I wanted to do here is explain some of the differences between the Canadian and American electoral process, and to helpfully highlight some of the ways ours is so much vastly superior to yours.
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In Canada we have a Prime Minister instead of a President, but unlike the U.S. we don’t vote directly for our Prime Minister. We instead vote to elect a Member of Parliament(MP) for our local area, and whichever political party has the most MP’s gets to have a Prime Minister. The losing parties don’t get to have any ministers, but they do get to shriek obscenities at the Prime Minister every day. I’m totally serious. We even have a special room built for it.
In Canada we have elections at least once every 5 years, although they can happen more often if we have a minority government. Minority governments lack the critical mass of members of parliament to provide the shared body heat necessary to survive the harsh Canadian winter.
Like the States, we have two legislative bodies, but we only elect the lower house, the Parliament. Members of the Senate are appointed by a council of the strongest men in the country, and are mainly former SCTV cast members.
Unlike the U.S., Canada has more than two viable political parties. Currently these parties include the Conservatives, the Liberals, The Anti-Masonic Party, and the Wolverines.
We don’t have Vice Presidents, but we do have Deputy Prime Ministers in Canada. However they aren’t named until after the election, so there’s no need to “balance the ticket” with them. (”Hey, how can we win the support of white guys?”) Constitutionally, I think their only requirement is to operate the donut shop in the House of Commons.
We have debates as well, only instead of being focused on specific issues, we have multiple general topic debates, conducted in English, French and from the roof of a moving train.
As a rule, we don’t elect likable people, and consider affableness to be a major character flaw in our leaders. Whereas if given the chance, I would quite enjoy being able to shoot the shit with either Obama or McCain, none of the party leaders running for office in Canada are someone I’d want to talk to, or even to look at directly. Seriously, look at those guys. Talking with any one of them would be about as pleasant as receiving oral sex from a muskrat.
Because our elections can happen at any time, and with only a month’s notice, our campaign seasons are more shorter than the ones in the U.S. It’s not that we don’t want to hold year long election campaigns - it’s that we have stuff to do. What’s your deal America? Don’t you have stuff to do?
Although we do have political ads in Canada, they’re nowhere near as vicious as American ads. Political ads in Canada generally involve the candidate loudly boasting about various features their automobiles have and making unlikely claims of past sexual accomplishments.
We don’t have punch cards or electronic voting or any other system which necessitates the use of a machine or friendly robot to count our votes. We write an X beside a name on a piece of paper and put it in a box. The box is made of cardboard. Later, a team of elite professionals opens the box, looks at each piece of paper, and using advanced counting skills, count the X’s. We think it’s hilarious that anyone could screw this up.
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Last 5 posts by Chris Bucholz
- The American Recession as Explained by a Canadian - December 2nd, 2008
- The 20 Stupidest GI Joe Vehicles Ever - November 25th, 2008
- How To Train An Army of Animals To Do Your Bidding - November 18th, 2008
- Everything I need to know I learned from He-Man - November 11th, 2008
- Campaign 2008: The Year in Pictures - November 4th, 2008
December 3rd, 2008 at 7:57 am
Kind of like the elections in Australia. Except we do basically have 6 month campaigns which are vicious and petty. Also, our previous leaders have never been particularly likeable either. Our current leader is however, but his incompetence is only overshadowed by that of his deputy and treasurer. AWESOME. I want to punch him in the face.
November 26th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Tartra-
more like canada is the douchey kid who lived with mommy and daddy till they were 30.
while the US is the kid who fought to get emancipated at 16 and still managed to fuck it’s life up.
-JD
November 25th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
It might be tough to have both a pm and a president running one country. Governor general is just a figure head, if she had any say in anything, it’d be a none stop power struggle. I think that canadian senate reform should be higher on the priority list. Taxpayers footing the bill for an appointment only retirement home with $120000+ salary where you only have to show up twice a year leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Might be interesting to have a parliament as-is and a senate based on proportional representation. Sucks that pulling stuff out of our constitution is next to impossible. Probably not going see it change in our lifetime.
November 25th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
> Matt Said:
> Proportional representation. That’s what we need.
Proportional representation is a terrible idea for a country like Canada unless you live in a densely populated area like Montreal, Toronto, or Vancouver. First-Past-The-Post ensures that rural areas have locally accountable representation. There is a middle road; maintain the current system but replace the Governor General with a President elected by popular vote.
November 25th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
Its funny because its true!
November 18th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
British elections used to be awesome. We used to have the results from each constituency televised. And it used to cost like £50 (about… $100, I think…) to run as a candidate in a constituency, so we used to have loads of people who did it as a joke.
One year, we had Lord Buckethead. His party was The Buckethead Alliance. He was like Darth Vader, only with a buckethead.
Now it’s less fun. People take stuff way too seriously.
November 8th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Nah, Canada rules.
The Australian system is better, though.
November 6th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Bah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah !!!
Vicky says “Polar bear attacks account for 20% of Canadian deaths. Be aware. Be alert. Be bear-safe.”
Bah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah !!!
I consider all the ways there are to die here in the “Land of the free ….” and then I read that 20% of Canadians cant seem to notice that big ass white bear sittin over there with a Bar-B-que grill, sharpening his knifes and licking his lips…. the bib is a dead give away.
Man we have radiation, asbestos, drive-by shootings, so damn many forms of cancer i cant keep track of them all, road rage, buildings falling down, floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes…. and dont forget a war about every 5- 10 years,
electricutions, fires, planes falling out of the sky, hostage situations, anti-government militia leaders with dilusions of granduer…… oh to hell with it, the list is too damn long……. just stay away from damned bears !!!!
November 5th, 2008 at 10:12 am
Bwehehehe shared body heat. Poor Harper, I guess all he wanted was more huggle butt with his BFFs.
And technically Canada does now have fixed election dates, but as you see, that didn’t even last one election. I guess our next fixed election date is when our emperor calls it!
All Hail Harper!
November 4th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Well only half of the population ever liked Trudeau, so I think it’s still a valid point.
November 4th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
I agree, and that is because Canada is clever enough to want to be like England/Britain depending on if you wish to include Scotland because even though our PM is Scottish the Scots still need their own parliament. But anyway yes, Canada is indeed pretty cool; a) it is more like England and b) they also speak French which is pretty cool. I think I could happily live in Canada.
November 4th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
I’m glad someone else thinks Harper is fish eyed. He also sports a $3 haircut.
November 4th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
hilarious. and dead on, too.
November 4th, 2008 at 11:11 am
Wow, and you didn’t even mention the Canadian Conservative Reform Alliance Party. Or CCRAP for short.
November 1st, 2008 at 9:49 am
“As a rule, we don’t elect likable people, and consider affableness to be a major character flaw in our leaders. ”
Exception to the rule: Trudeau.
October 31st, 2008 at 12:14 pm
this still doesn’t explain why fucking fish-eyed stephen harper won again.
October 24th, 2008 at 8:02 am
Dude, it’s exactly the same here in Israel. Even the cardboard box.
October 22nd, 2008 at 9:00 pm
To quote Old_Bean
“Works fairly well until the Governor General (Monarchial Relic) sacks your popularly elected Prime Minister then gets drunk at a horse race. (Google John Kerr)”
Well I I seriously WISH Ours would sack OUR government and do her fscking job! If she knew how to do her job, we’d of had no issues with our piss poor excuse for a government. Seriously, 4 Elections in 5 years…. we’ll be back at the polls by Easter…
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Our PM has the control of the legislative and executive committies.
- When his party represents the majority, he can pratically adopt any law he wants, unless the supreme court saiys that this is a big no-no. BUT
- He can name the judges. So, he names judges people you think like him…
Canada is a dictature, but a soft dictature. All Hail Maple Syrup!
October 20th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Hi,
I’m from Respectastan and our system is very similar to the American system… if our president is not on HIS ( and i stress our president is male and always will be) way to finding and robbing large oil deposits from countries that won’t give into our ridiculous demands for low sale prices of their product to us or infringing on our civil liberties to hate every race of people and religion that are different to white protestants then we simply shoot our president using our central intelligence agencies agents and blame some poor bastard that owns riffle (as is our outdated constitutional right) and shoot him before the real story comes out.It’s a fail safe system that keeps the rich rich and the poor poor….win win apparently
Come to think of it,my country fuckin sucks and i think i’ll kill myself like should all people who sit down and accept such a bullshit way of running things!!!
PS JOCKS FUCKING RULE DUDE
yeah……right….
October 20th, 2008 at 3:25 am
I always thought one of the ways that the parliament system was superior to the presidential system was that if the PM is doing a poor job the parliament could cast a “vote of no confidence” and fire him. Likewise if parliament is getting nothing done due to constant fighting and incompetence the Pm could dissolve the parliament and call for new elections. That’s so much better than our (America’s) current system where if our president is a complete screwup or our congress gets NOTHING done, well TOO BAD! Unless they due something illegal, there’s nothing we can do about it for the next four years. We just have to sit here and hope the president doesn’t blow up the wrong country or something while congress sits there and fights with itself.
October 19th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Oh and voting is manditory, if you are caught not voting you get a fine.
Then again if you don’t vote in america you get George Bush.
I like our system better.
October 19th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
This is similar to the Australian system, only instead of Xs we use a preferencial voting system, so you have to put the candidates in order of which you hate the least.
Also we get to vote on our Upper House. Only difference is you vote for a party and the more votes a party gets the more representatives they the get in the Senate. And senate parties must be real easy to start because the ballot paper is huge and includes parties such as the “Legalise Marijuana” party, “Single Dads” party and other parties whose sole function is to appear on a ballot paper and not get voted for.
Works fairly well until the Governor General (Monarchial Relic) sacks your popularly elected Prime Minister then gets drunk at a horse race. (Google John Kerr)
October 19th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
“Wait a minute, there is actually a government running Canada? Wow, oh and their beer sucks too!”
Is that considered a creative insult in america? Just terrible
October 19th, 2008 at 10:30 am
Ah, the good old Westminster system. Could do with a little fixing (The House of Lords, we still have a Queen, also as Matt mentioned, it would be nice to have proportional representation, maybe separate national and local government), but definitely better than most other systems at the moment.
October 18th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Wait a minute, there is actually a government running Canada? Wow, oh and their beer sucks too!
October 18th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
I hate to bring a serious note to it, but our (Canadian) election system sucks…
I mean, with 4 major parties (5 if you’re in Quebec), the first-past-the-post system we have is just fucking ridiculous. Anyone who doesn’t vote for the winning party of the riding basically has their opinion shat upon.
For example, in last Tuesday’s election, the Conservatives won. They had 36% of the popular vote. And that is of the 59% of eligible voters who came out (yeah, our turnout was a piece of shit in this last election). So it comes out to roughly 21% of people who voted.
Anyway, all that to say, anyone who didn’t vote conservative…that is, the other 64% of canadians…their opinion when to shit.
The Green Party has no seats. If it were representative, though, they would have 23 seats in Parliament!
Basically, we need a new system, to make our system even BETTER than it already is over the US. Proportional representation. That’s what we need.
Anyway, back to the article. Quite enjoyable. We do rock…hahaha
October 17th, 2008 at 4:31 am
Russell Crowe for president of Australia!!!! (Maybe next time we won’t get scared and vote AGAINST a republic.)
October 16th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Good ol’ Canadian elections! This was the first federal election I’ve been old enough to vote in so I went down and cast my ballot for–actually, it doesn’t matter. I live in Alberta. The only way anybody other than a conservative would have taken my riding is if the conservative candidate had been eaten by a polar bear.
Polar bear attacks account for 20% of Canadian deaths. Be aware. Be alert. Be bear-safe.
October 16th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Yeah, I followed both elections and the Canadian one is about a MILLION times more interesting for a number fo reason. For one, it’s alot more subtle and you get 4 partis bitching after one, but that one party is alughing because he’s gonna win anyways. The American election is really depressing.
October 16th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Cast members of SCTV are a wonderful choice, look at the top notch way in which they ran a television station.
October 16th, 2008 at 11:27 am
Dear Commonwealth countries,
Youre Welcome
Love,
Great Britain
October 16th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Wow. I totally understand the need for an edit function. Seriously, Cracked, get on that.
October 16th, 2008 at 11:22 am
@Deprae - I’m glad you enjoy our edible trees. Maybe you can pay for it with your nice, currently-insanely-stronger-than-ours, US dollars. (Seriously - please give us money.)
@Haruhi - Yeah. Hello? Britain —> Canada. I know we fought for independence but - come on! We’re the GOOD children of the mother land! We didn’t go around change all our systems and messing up our spelling until like - you know… SOME ex-colonies.
And I used to count the votes. I used to be a scrutineer - oh, boy, was I cheap countin’ ‘em, too. If a vote looked misshapen, it was immediately rid of, unless it was one for my party, and then it was okay. That led to some awkward situations…
October 16th, 2008 at 9:36 am
Mr. Speaker, I move for a three-way with the member for Brampton - Springdale and the member for Simcoe - Grey!
(Ruby Dhalla and Helena Guergis are hott!)
October 15th, 2008 at 11:45 pm
I never voted for Tits the Nun, but when I lived in California I voted for Conan the Barbarian. Does that count?
October 15th, 2008 at 10:40 pm
Good old Canada. You’re the Australia of the northern hemisphere, and we love you for it. I wish we had something like maple trees, though. our lack of edible goodies is a major bummer.
isn’t this like the 4th election you guys have had in three years, though? how do your PMs get time to do anything before they get kicked out by the next guy?
October 15th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Even if I could vote (I can’t), I still wouldn’t have voted this election. Nobody seemed worth it. Either way, we were one of the best-prepared and organized countries when it came to the financial fuck-up we all experienced.
October 15th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
the answer to your question is no, americans dont have anything better to do than have long elections (the popularity of american idol and paris hilton is just some of the massive evidence that we’ve nothing better to do)
of course the real reason they last so long is that it takes that many months to get an american to pay attention to anything important long enough to even consider taking 5 mins to poke a hole in a piece of paper voicing your opinion on it….
October 15th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
I gotta say, Canada is better than Mexico. Not better than Iceland, but getting up there.
October 15th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
I just exercised my right not to vote yesterday. Honestly, it doesn’t matter who we vote for here. Stuff always ends up going in the right direction. I think it’s because the Polar King of the North holds so much sway in parliament
October 15th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
People in the U.S. don’t hate Canada. Actually, I don’t believe we really think about’em all that much. They’re all so quiet and polite. The perfect upstairs neighbors really.
I’m pretty sure we’ll never bomb them, provided they keep sending us all their best comedians.
October 15th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
First.
October 15th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
pingollum, you can google image search hot nun or toppless nun and get results about the movie. I don’t remember which worked, but since I am at school, I can’t check for you.
October 15th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
what the hell is a canada?
October 15th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Umm… How do you know how pleasant receiving oral sex from a muskrat is?
Nevermind, I don’t think anyone really wants to know.
October 15th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
and I meant fucking politicians. Edit function please!!!
October 15th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
corporations dammit. Goddamn, y’all redo the whole site and don’t include an edit function, WTF?
October 15th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Actually, here in the US major corperations buy the politions and tell them what to do.
The voting is just there to make people feel better about that fact the the people have had nothing to do with picking the leaders and running the country since about Nov 1963.
October 15th, 2008 at 11:58 am
The canadian system sounds like a rip off of our English system.
Or is it an “homage”. Do you guys obey the queen or not (Well, technically noone does, the rule is that she can order anyone to do whatever she wants provided that she never orders anyone to do anything).
October 15th, 2008 at 11:23 am
“In Canada we have a Prime Minister instead of a President, but Unlike the U.S. we do not vote directly for our Prime Minister. We instead vote to elect a Member of Parliament(MP) for our local area, and whichever political party has the most MP’s gets to have a Prime Minister. We instead vote to elect a Member of Parliament (MP) for our local area, and whichever political party has the most MP’s gets to have a Prime Minister.”
Actually, here in america we have a system called the electoral college where we elect representatives on election day to then go and vote for the president. It’s dont by state. The most Electoral college votes in a state wins the state and its ‘points’
October 15th, 2008 at 10:54 am
Ahhh, Tits the nun. Did anyone find out what movie that stillframe was from?
October 15th, 2008 at 10:45 am
I really wish Robert Denby would be more elusive.
October 15th, 2008 at 10:31 am
America’s not the only country in the world? Hell, I thought that even the USSR was just a particularly disliked state.
October 15th, 2008 at 10:21 am
This article taught me something about Canadian elections, and it made me chuckle, albeit only a little. Not bad.
Also, this Robert Denby character is not only elusive, but he seems to have a raging inferiority complex as well. America isn’t the only country in the world, pal. It just thinks it is.
October 15th, 2008 at 8:53 am
I voted for tits the nun, kingmonkey.
October 15th, 2008 at 8:33 am
I don’t think the Canadians take American teasing personally. I mean, they’re sitting on huge oil reserves, they have working health care systems, and they actually have, you know, something resembling an economy and housing for citizens.
I’m sure the mounties are cackling from their moose-backs at our pathetic jokes at their expense.
October 15th, 2008 at 7:23 am
You Amurrcans did all remember to vote for Tits the Nun, right?
October 15th, 2008 at 7:22 am
I voted for the Casnadian Destroyer (Paranoia). I like his policies on the current economic crisis: he will destroy it.
I look forward to the eventual Casnadian/US summit between the Casnadian Destroyer (Paranoia) and Tits the Nun.
October 15th, 2008 at 6:32 am
People can get away with what they want on Question Time already Clara, like during the last election when that Asian guy asked Michael Howard why he was a racist bastard.
Unless you ask Jeremy Paxman anything, in which case he just humiliates you for daring to question him.
October 15th, 2008 at 4:53 am
And who can argue with a system that has a fair chance of The Monster Raving Loony Party being voted in?
October 15th, 2008 at 4:50 am
Hey! It’s like the UK, but with more snow. Also, the bloody French language.
Our last deputy PM had a similar job description to Cheezwhiz’s. Except with eggs, not pies, and he actually invented his own language to baffle us with.
Guy’s a complete moron, though he had a wicked left hook.
I completely didn’t realise the president didn’t get questioned/insulted/routinely attacked by the press every moment of his life. Where the hell is the democracy in that? Hell, even I could get on Question Time and ask him myself what the deal is with all these wars. And possibly throw an egg without being shot.
I think I’ve just become a royalist, I’ve never been so grateful for our system.
October 15th, 2008 at 3:11 am
The Prime Minister is appointed rather than elected? Sort of sounds like how we got Bush in the first place.
And here I thought our countries didn’t have anything in common.
October 14th, 2008 at 11:34 pm
@ Jimbo: Hahahaha, nice.
All Canada hating aside though, I think I’d rather live there. I don’t know how it got so popular to hate on them (South Park?), I just hope people don’t take it very seriously.
October 14th, 2008 at 10:52 pm
Max_Fightmaster, no one knows what local government does, and local government does everything it can to make sure it stays that way. That way they can do whatever they like and not worry about being voted out, because nobody will ever notice when they do things we don’t like.
October 14th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
You don’t elect the senate? That’s crazy. And House of Commons? Aren’t you all commons, including senators?
Still, other than those two things it seems rather similar to the Australian (ie. good) system.
October 14th, 2008 at 10:16 pm
haha very true. nz has an mmp system at the moment, we have two major parties and over 20 minor parties, including the legalize cannabis party (no, really) and the New World Order party (seriously), a party can get into power just by promising to stop the government from selling our railways to a chinese multinational
October 14th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
Hey Micheal, how about you drop that wholly unwarranted sense of superiority and suck on this: the best thing about Canadian elections, hands down, is that it never matters who wins or loses; that’s because nothing Canada does will ever matter. Ever.
October 14th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
“Canada has a government?!? Since when?!?”
Shows how stupid and ignorant some of you americans are.
And what does the Prime Minister do? Pay for your fucking bullshit war guys…
October 14th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
Dan, actually Bush is fluent in spanish, so he would do fine in a bilingual setting.
October 14th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Yeah, Casnadia sounds fairly similar to Australia.
For Federal elections (that’s for the Prime Minister), I attempt to make an educated decision when casting my vote.
For local elections however, I vote in order of most goofy-looking to least goofy-looking. Way I see it, if they’re goofy-looking then they won’t have social lives to distract them from developing solid policies and… Actually, I have no idea what local members even do. I think they just open shopping centres.
October 14th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
We have the exact same system in Australia except the political parties elect their leaders using the far superior “Dingo Fight” system instead of a vote
October 14th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
I sat in Question Period last year… nothing says a fun time like watching a short Bloc Quebecois member be shouted at to do steroids. In two languages. Bush could be confused bilingually if the House allowed it… once again, Canadian government is better.
October 14th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
Hah, awesome. I’m still pissy from voting this morning… goddam democracy. Why can’t we just throw the candidates in a pit and make them fight until only the toughest is left alive? Let’s get evolution back on our side.
October 14th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Thats it, Im moving to Canada.
October 14th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Man, I had to vote in that thing today. I went with nicest moustache. I like that our candidates have pictures instead of names on the ballot. Makes it so much easier to compare moustaches. (Incidentally, the NDP representative only had a soul patch. That lack of facial-hair solidarity with his party leader was disturbing.)
October 14th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
I cant beleive u didnt mention how the marijuana party leader is a Rastafarian
October 14th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
I think its so adorable that Canadians have debates and elections, just like they’re a real country…its kind of like when people vote for what the new flavor of Mountain Dew will be(the sweet berry taste of Revolution has my vote!).
October 14th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Jack Leyton looks like a creepy uncle. Steven Harper looks like his eyes are receding. Stephane Dion looks like he’s always so sad… like a Pierrot clown.
Anyone voting for the Bloc Quebecois this year? It’s almost gotten to the point that many Anglo provinces may just vote BQ to get rid of Quebec.
October 14th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
@ Bonzai-Kitten
yes less kangaroos but more beavers
also most canadians know the name of Dions dog (Kyoto) but not the PMs wife
October 14th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
@ Spider Jerusalem: Actually, it’s the opposite. We elect a Prime Minster (well, indirectly) and then the Queen signs off on it as a formality. Technically, sure, the Queen can disapprove, but I don’t think that ever has or ever WILL happen. Canada’s running the show; it’s Britain that’s the formality.
October 14th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Canada has a government?!? Since when?!?
October 14th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Actually Im pretty sure all but a couple states have laws saying the electoral college has to vote as the people vote
October 14th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
I like Canada’s system. You are less likely to have a government set up by the dumb masses.
But John is correct: The Electoral College can technicaly vote for whoever they like, so in truth your one vote means absolutely nothing.
October 14th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Better question: who’s Steven Harper?
Joking (kind of). I know WHO he is, but I know nothing about him whatsoever other than his title.
There’s a similarity: Americans and Canadians both don’t know what Steven Harper’s wife’s name is, and neither give a shit.
October 14th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
I bet in Canada the initiation for Parliament involves surviving a moose attack blindfolded.
The bigger the buck, the sharper the horns and the distance off-balance it knocks you determines your place in the house.
October 14th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Americans don’t vote directly for the president either. It’s much like your system, in which we vote for an electoral college who then votes for the president. That’s how Candidate “A” can win the popular vote (who the college says they’re going to vote for), but Candidate “B” can actually win the presidency because the college couldn’t make up their minds.
October 14th, 2008 at 11:53 am
Oh crap, I knew there was something I forgot today! Thanks for reminding me.
There is one other, really major difference from the US: Most Canadians don’t give a flying frozen moose dropping about our political leaders’ home lives, either. Quick, what’s Stephen Harper’s wife’s name? I can’t even be bothered to Google it, that’s how much I don’t care about it.
October 14th, 2008 at 11:48 am
I had always assumed that the Prime Minister of Canada was determined by a drinking contest, or some kind of naked bear hunt in the snow. I mean, England’s really running the joint anyway right? The election is just a formality.
Very funny article by the way. It made me think of Bush getting a million insults and questions thrown at him… ::Sigh:: a man can dream…
October 14th, 2008 at 11:47 am
Our Prime Minister has many responsibilities.
- Punching guys who throw pies in their face
- Choking guys on trains
- Defending against home invasion with a kitschy inuit sculpture
- Flipping off the press
- Making barely comprehensible statements halfways in french, halfways in english, sideways out of their face
…or at least they did in the good old days. Nobody on this ticket seems to fit that bill.
October 14th, 2008 at 11:47 am
That’s far too much “appointing” and not enough “electing” for me.
October 14th, 2008 at 11:41 am
I think that Jack Leyton’s claims that he once nailed the entire troupe of Fly Girls, from the ‘89 season of In Living Colour, in the back of his stretch limo-helicopter proves that he should be the next PM.
I know Stephane Dion is saying he slept with Lee Aaron, but seriously, who hasn’t?
October 14th, 2008 at 10:34 am
What does your prime minister do? I always imagined that the job was entirely consumed by trying to keep the northern border safe from surprise grizzly bear attacks.
October 14th, 2008 at 10:19 am
My favorite thing about the debates and election season is watching the candidates fumble over irrationally answered questions that were never really asked. Seriously. They don’t answer questions, but they will make fun of each other. So we got that going for us…which is nice.
October 14th, 2008 at 9:19 am
Finally! A post about elections on this site I can relate too. I definitely agree with Bonzai-Kitten on this one.
Does any country other than America have such a long winded election campaign?
October 14th, 2008 at 9:09 am
Canada: So much like home, but with less kangaroos.
October 14th, 2008 at 8:26 am
I know I don’t personally have anything better to do. At all.
If I had more important stuff to do, then I wouldn’t have the time in between watching borderline cruel campaign ads and pretending that the president is elected by popular vote to read this website, so I’m a little glad that I’ve got way too much time on my hands. Just, like, a tiny bit glad.