10 Photos Capturing Moments of Spontaneous Badassery
#5.
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof is... Ah, Fuck It.
Depending on where you left the scroll button and what resolution monitor you're using, you probably saw this photo and chuckled a little bit at the audacity of those firemen at first--thinking that was the joke. There they are, apparently doing their best Daft Punk impression in the midst of an inferno, or perhaps just falling to their knees to worship whatever Elemental Gods Russians pray to these days. Then you scrolled down, and saw the half-naked Dr. House impersonator doing what he does best: Enjoying a Sunday afternoon smoke on the porch, because fuck you, Rigor the Fire-Czar, he gets one day off a goddamn week and you can rain all the hellfire you want, it's not cutting into his "me-time."
#4.
Expensive Suit, Moustache, Uzi: Check, Check, and Checkmate
The scene depicted is the assassination attempt on President Ronald Reagan, and the world learned something that day: Four out of five Secret Service agents are bad at their jobs, but that's OK because the one that's left is really, really fucking good at it.
He's practically a goddamn action figure up there: He comes complete with Uzi (mid-cock), Italian wingtips and a mustache made out of revenge.
#3.
The Amazing Unflappable Baby
"Hey. Honey. Holy shit, I just had the best idea."
"What's that, darling?"
"Let's put the baby in front of the bear window. He'll lose his shit!"
"Won't that scar him for life?"
"Psh, fuck him if he can't take a joke. If God didn't want you to put babies in danger, he wouldn't have made them so stupid. Are you in or what?"
"Let's do this thing."
Things in the Kersland house were never the same after that day. When little Jonathan walked into a room, Dan and Marie quickly averted their gaze. They didn't know why, exactly, it was just as if the power had shifted in some quiet, unspoken way.
Also, the necklace of bear-teeth was pretty intimidating.
#2.
Grand Theft Auto: Vietnam Nights
The real story of this photograph: This man has just crash-landed this helicopter in Vietnam; he's fleeing before it explodes--either because he's seen too many movies, or he's crashed too many helicopters and knows something we don't.
The story his facial expression tells: He was cruising along in his 'chopper, casually tossing Molotov cocktails out the window after lighting a never-ending chain of cigarettes with them, when out of the corner of his eye he saw a better helicopter off to the left, hit the exit button and began sprinting off to hijack the next one before the first one even hit the ground.
#1.
This Happens Like Eight Times a Day
"...so, like I was saying: If I wanted the paper delivered every goddamn day, I'd have fucking well ordered it, wouldn't I? You keep delivering these papers and I keep throwing them away. It's like I wake up every morning to find that a stranger has littered, just once, right on my doorstep. It's bullshi- what's that? No, ignore it. It'll explode in a second and we'll both just walk away without looking. It's how these things go."
You can buy Robert's book, Everything is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead, or find him on Twitter, Facebook and his own site, I Fight Robots or you can get a mirror and start practicing non-reaction in the face of extreme circumstances, like he's been doing non-stop for the past two days.
Mildly amused riot guy is really very awesome,but what's that around the bottom dude?Is that ribbon?Is wrapping shiny gold ribbon around someone commonplace in fights?What the h--- was going on there?
ReplyHmm, I thought #7 was the pose of someoe going "Well. damn."
Replyeither way it was awesome.
#1 was so flippin' funny! Every time I think of that now, I'm gonna start cracking up laughing wherever I am. Cracked is so awesome.
ReplyAm I the only one who finds the guy in #10 strangely attractive? o.O *drools*
ReplyNope. He is definitely got an attraction factor. Glad I'm not the only one who thought so.
Keep him, #4 is where it's at.
I think on number 4 he is actually extending the collapsible stock so he can adopt a proper shooting stance. Still looks f*****g awesome though.
ReplyYep, nothing wrong with getting your gun fully prepped before kicking ass, that's just good sense. I also note the proper trigger discipline. This guy knows exactly what he's doing, and somebody is going to regret that fact.
When I asked for a bear claw, I meant the pastry, dammit.
Replythe whole article was amazing, #10, #3 and #1 was awesome.cant stop laughing when i remember the dialogue in #3, my colleagues keep giving me weird looks.
Reply"Psh, f**k him if he can't take a joke. If God didn't want you to put babies in danger, he wouldn't have made them so stupid. Are you in or what?" -- winner
ReplyNumber 10 is the Dos Equis guy in disguise!!!(I'm not always in the middle of a riot, but when I am, I prefere Dos Equis..) Stay badass my friends ;)
ReplyI knew somebody would bring up "The Most Interesting Man in the World." LOL
I would really like to know mildly amused riot guy (#10). He looks like one awesomely cool SOB.
Reply#8 is from the Lethbridge Air Show, 2010. The pilot was on a practice flight in his CF-18 before the show and flew too low to the ground.
ReplyThat's incorrect, he was flying low because he was practicing for the air show. The plane malfunctioned. There was no pilot error. Sidenote, his back was broken, but once it healed he got right back to flying. Badass indeed
I remember seeing this and talking about it while it happened. This is what I had to say then:
I dunno, Cobra maneuvers are pretty risky. That being said, I can't imagine that during a low altitude controlled stall, pitching (up to) 60 degrees of climb while NOT climbing, one of the most risky stunts you can do in a jet -even one with thrust vectoring- an experienced pilot would willingly try an aileron roll, or even worse, use rudders. That is clearly how the plane REACTED and in no way would anyone sane do that, Ever. >Fly-by-wire Computer Malfunction
I am sure #3 is of the breed of demigods of greek legend.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesYou're a Percy Jackson fan, aren't you?
That bear's claws are longer than that baby's hands!
What the f**k is percy jackson?
It looks like the guys from #6 are wearing flight suits, meaning that they could be part of a helicopter or plane crew which could possibly the headphones. The jury is out on the awesome beard.
Replythose guys in number 6 are people who have volunteered in helping the pakistan army evacuate people in flood hit regions
I thought the same thing about the helicopter-looking crew, but the joke was too awesome so I was like yeah, I see what you did there. Nice!
more of these articles please
ReplyThe dialogue for #3 was hilarious! #10 made me actually laugh out loud, and #1...wow...I wouldn't be that calm. lol
ReplyNumber 1 was from a news report in Serbia. The guy was just talking about how many car wrecks there were on that stretch of road when his point was proven in the most kickass way possible.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesThat is more badass than Brockway's version!
Close, but not quite- it's in Croatia and the guy is Bosnian. I guess it's still better than all those folks that call anything east of Germany- "Russia." You can watch the whole thing by typing "Slijetanje" into YouTube.
Notice how the old guy says: "Oh, this will interrupt us now since we have to help due to being closest to the scene." while the car is still rolling around. Before, he talks about how he and his orphaned siblings hid in the forests for seven years during and immediately after WWII, so badassitude is apparently a lifelong habit for Mehmed Kasinovic.
I thought the guy in #9 was holding a golf bag until I looked closer >.
ReplyI just have to correct this. While RPG might be a generic term to a lot of people for rocket launcher, the launcher that man is carrying is not an RPG, but looks more like a LAW.
Reply Hide All See All 4 Repliesexactly what i was going to say, an RPG is a specific kind of rocket propelled grenade, which is exactly what it says on the tin, a grenade on the end of a rocket. the difference is (and it isnt too much of a difference but its enough to be irritating when people get it wrong) that with an RPG the rocket bit is the full length of the launcher with the grenade sticking out of the front which gives it all that launcher room for rocket which means the RPG's havee a really long range, and gives it that iconic terrorist-ish look. it is also loaded from the front.
however, the rocket launcher (for example the LAW in the pic) is loaded from the back and it is a proper rocket which contains a lot more explosive and, being actually rocket shaped flies much straighter and in a more balanced way, so is a much more complicated way of blowing s**t up and different kinds can use anti-aircraft and heat detecting rockets. this is why the RPG is the preferred terrorist/rebel weapon, because the clever bit is the rocket, which is essentially a big firework rocket and a grenade, the launcher is basically a pipe and a trigger.
you could probably make a RPG in a few hours, but rocket launchers are clever precision devices, which is why it was being used by some government force in the pic (before that guy stole it).
im gonna shut up now =D
I asked this a year ago. People forget that RPG is the Russian acronym for "anti-tank rocket" and not "rocket propelled grenade".
nearly, it translates to "hand held, anti tank, grenade launcher" (ruchnoy protivotankovy granatomyot)with no mention of rockets. therefore the acronym of RPG as rocket propelled grenade is a good way to describe it not a translation. so its not wrong to call it an RPG.
Sure GamerNerd117 didn't have to point it out, but JordanR went on to the pretentious/douchbag level... why is the first guy voted down so much and Jordan get's seven thumbs up?
Just asking.
Man, they're just chillin'.
ReplyThis is one of the big reasons smoking still exists, because, at the moment of something epic occurring you have two choices: freak out like the other 99.9%, or lite up a smoke and enjoy the show. The smoke is essential to pulling off the "cool". There has been studies done, that is why smoking is still seen in movies and tv shows, it is that important to the cool.
ReplyCommenter rage disclaimer: I know smoking is bad, cancer causing and what not, but this is a comedy website, enjoy or sit on this and rotate....(casually steps back as the devil train rolls by with Kingdom of Heaven jets strafing it with bullets used to kill nazis, lights his cigar on the flame of the demon train, and walks off flipping you the bird)
Fun flipside: Nothing on earth is quite so psychotic as a smoker who CAN'T get his fix.
Haha, no rage commenters... now you have to sit and rotate my friend. Enjoy!