10 Great Songs By the Worst Bands of All Time

#5. Spin Doctors -- "Mary Jane"

Rick Diamond/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

First off, can we just take a second to acknowledge how great the lead singer of Spin Doctors looks? That's him up there on the left. The last time anyone heard from that guy, he looked like this:

Here's what marijuana commercials will look like someday.

Who could've predicted he'd grow up to look like Sandra Bullock's Nazi ex-husband? Anyway, I doubt Spin Doctors actually deserve to be mentioned among the worst bands ever, but I also don't know enough about the other stuff they've done to give a shit either way.

Songs like "Two Princes" and "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong" earned them a permanent spot on lists like this one, so we can't point to any of that stuff as the cream of the crop. So, have a listen to "Mary Jane" instead.

Sure, that sounds like it's probably the best Spin Doctors song ever.

#4. Hootie & the Blowfish -- "I Go Blind"

Donald Bowers/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Before Darius Rucker and his bar band compatriots came along and messed things up, the black dude in Spin Doctors was like the Jackie Robinson of shitty '90s alternative bands. Also, guess who just realized there's been a black dude in Spin Doctors this entire time?

Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty
He's the one on the left.

His name is Mark White, which also sort of makes him the Frank Beard of the group.

Michael Buckner/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty
I'm assuming I don't need to tell you which one is Frank Beard.

It's not just the lead singer; for as long as they've been an entry in my memory, the entire band has looked like this:

Here's what marijuana commercials will ... wait, I used that caption already.

Anyway, back to Hootie & the Blowfish, another band that, at the end of the day, probably isn't nearly as terrible as their constant placement on "worst band of all time" lists would indicate. I wouldn't go so far as to say I have a "favorite" Hootie & the Blowfish song, but while the singles from Cracked Rear View and Fairweather Johnson get all the retro attention, it was their cover of a song called "I Go Blind" by obscure Canadian band 54-40 that I'll always remember fondly as "that one Hootie & the Blowfish song I kind of liked."

It was only released on the Friends soundtrack, because of course it was.

#3. Black Eyed Peas -- "Joints & Jam"

Allen Berezovsky/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty

Surprisingly, this is another easy one to pick. It's a barely kept secret that, once upon a time, Black Eyed Peas were a well-respected rap outfit with a couple of fairly strong albums to their credit. These were the pre-Fergie days, before they were recording with Justin Timberlake and covering songs from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack.

The standout song from the glory days of Black Eyed Peas is "Joints & Jam."

If you're a devoted Black Eyed Peas hater who's hearing that for the first time, you probably made note of how little it sucks. If you didn't, you either hate them for the wrong reasons ("What's with those outfits??!?!") or don't love "real" music as much as you claim.

Either way, who fucking cares, right? We're talking about hating the Black Eyed Peas. At the end of the day, just so long as you do hate them for something, you're doing your part.

#2. BrokeNCYDE -- "Freaxxx"


Alright, let's get the obvious question out of the way right up top: Who in the fuck is this band? I expected I'd have to slog through some bad songs to write this column, but I didn't think I'd discover an entire genre I'd never heard of. Apparently, BrokeNCYDE is a New Mexico-based "crunkcore" band. Every single word of that description leads me to assume they suck. So does this video:

I hate that song so much that I would hold it face down in a bathtub until it drowns if I could. Did you hear all the mechanical screaming? Does every crunkcore band have a dude that plays various synth-altered versions of Lil Jon screaming "Yeaahhhh!" instead of a guitar player? Because this one seems to have that, and I don't like it one bit. It must be these kinds of shenanigans that landed this barely known band on no less than two separate "worst band ever" lists.

That said, the video has 8 million views, so it must be the best of the bunch, right? Here's hoping the answer is yes, because I'm afraid I've listened to all of the BrokeNCYDE that I can stomach at this point.

#1. The Eagles -- "Already Gone"

Rick Diamond/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

It's like the old saying goes, "Nothing makes you pine for the music of your parents quite like discovering that BrokeNCYDE exists." People don't actually say that, but they should, because after listening to "Freaxxx" just once, the Eagles sound like the best band of all time.

We all know they aren't, but I've personally never thought they deserved as much hate as they get. So, once again, this was a pretty easy choice, because I already know the best Eagles song is this:

That's "Already Gone," and, uhhhhh ... it's my favorite Eagles song, I suppose. So it's on this list.

Looks like the conclusion to this entry is going to be a rather dull one. I guess that's appropriate, considering it's about the Eagles.

Adam hosts a podcast called Unpopular Opinion that you should check out right here. You should also be his friend on Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr.

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