Cracked Columnists

10 Behind-the-Scenes Photos That Make the Movie Better

#5. Neo and Smith in The Matrix

In The Matrix, we learn that computers have taken over and replaced reality with a virtual reality that all humans, who are basically just sleeping brains in vats, are forced to live in via a series of tubes. The computers maintain this near-perfect illusion 24/7.

screencrush.com
"We've made a perfect simulation of your world; are you sure you're not in the Matrix right now, Mr. Anderson?"
"No, I'm ... I'm definitely in the Matrix."

How It Helps the Movie

I really like the idea that we assume that the Matrix is this complicated and perfect computer simulation, but when one of the agents gets distracted, he can't focus on his program. It's like when I'm downloading a huge file and the rest of my computer stuff slows down as a result. When Agent Smith uses all his RAM to fly and fight Neo, this is what the rest of the world looks like.

#4. Maximus in Gladiator

Russell Crowe is the soldier who became a slave who became a gladiator who became a hero. He rises up from nothing to win over the people and slay the tyrant Joaquin Phoenix, who was still in the not-unbearably-crazy phase of his acting career.

screencrush.com

How It Helps the Movie

Everything about this is wonderful and ridiculous. It's like the setup to the third Hangover movie, where everyone wakes up having no clue what happened at last night's party, they just know they need to get Crowe over to the church but the wedding's in five minutes!

And I love that there's a tiger and a severed leg, but that nothing will stop the guy whose job it is to idly rake sand. Total pro, that guy.


"It's not my job to pry, it's my job to rake. I've got my own thing going on."

#3. Freddy Krueger!

The Nightmare on Elm Street franchise follows a terrifying undead monster-type thing, Freddy Krueger, as he travels around the world murdering teenagers in their sleep.

designyoutrust.com

How It Helps the Movie

AAAAHHHH! That's so much fucking scarier! I want him to visit children who find the Nightmare movies so terrifying dressed as Freddy and then peel it off, saying, "Don't worry, kids, it's just makeup. Underneath it all I'm far more frightening than you could ever imagine."

#2. John, Hans, and Friends in Die Hard

I think I've written about Die Hard for this website like 30 times. If you don't know what Die Hard is, just click the "Random Article" button, as you are statistically likely to find an article about it in 10 clicks.

unrealitymag.com

How It Helps the Movie

Look at the expression on Bruce Willis' face. That is the face of a man who either learns he can freeze time or figures out that he's been having a drug-induced hallucination this entire time.

#1. The Predator from Predator

jokerdesigns.com
"I said not right now, OK?!

How It Helps the Movie

Watching this movie allows me to pretend that, after Predator 2, there's a third Predator movie about a Predator who learns how to sing and dance, leaves his family behind, and travels to Hollywood to become a star. His dreams come true, but once he's successful, he realizes that the life he left behind really was the life for him. That his new life may seem glamorous, but being hounded by paparazzi and overly familiar fans isn't all it's cracked up to be. That fame and fortune are no substitute for family and friends.



Daniel O'Brien is Cracked's senior writer (ladies), and he likes to take chances and do dances (space jams). Watch him do stand-up with Michael Swaim, Adam Brown, and Blaine Capatch on 3/5/13 (people who live in Los Angeles).

Recommended For Your Pleasure

Daniel O'Brien

  • Rss

More by Daniel O'Brien:

See More
To turn on reply notifications, click here

398 Comments

The Cracked Podcast

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!