10 Cracked Posts Everyone Went Nuts Over Last Week - 1/17

Last week's most shared bits had some eerie thematic similarities - like how the Oregon militia guys and Google both want the government's grabby tax hands out of their damn pockets.

10 4 Facts Anti-Government Militias Don't Want You To Know

So when the armed group in Oregon tells the media that they will stay there forever before immediately asking people to send snacks, that is historically completely in line with the behavior of a militia. Because militias are made of f@cking idiots.

10 Cracked Posts Everyone Went Nuts Over Last Week - 1/17

"Why is it that the people who served their country during wartime are also the people organizing standoffs with the government? If I had to guess ... it would be that the government totally hasn't done shit for them, and everyone should feel really ashamed about that."

9 5 Stories Everyone Assumes Are In The Bible (But Aren't)

Satan's appearance as a goat-horned, trident-wielding dude with red skin is just a product of pop culture, but that only scratches the surface. Most of the Bible's references to the critter we think of as Satan are actually, probably, referring to completely different entities.

"Given that the concepts of purgatory and limbo were invented after the Bible was written, they never entered into the popular discourse until ... Dante wrote about them. Shit, at this point we're willing to suggest that Dante invented more of Christianity than Jesus did."

8 26 Historical Comparisons That Will Break Your Brain

A few of us could still pull those off proper.

"Think of how often you hear someone lament that they were meant for a different period in time. But if they saw what our grandparents and their grandparents had to live with, they'd probably just shrug off any further thoughts of wanting to see Hendrix live at Woodstock."

7 5 Famous People Whose Best Work Was Motivated By Revenge

"I like to imagine that as soon as the clock struck midnight on Sept. 30, 1982, David Bowie washed the lipstick from his face, took off his dress to reveal a perfectly ironed suit and tie underneath, and said, 'Gentlemen, let's business.'"

David Bowie went from '70s freak to '80S megastar out of spite. Specifically, he did it to spite his former manager, who was contractually entitled to

"Most people assume Bowie sold out because he wanted money, but there's another unconfirmed, yet irresistibly logical explanation: He wanted money, probably, but also to piss off a cigar-chomping bastard named Tony Defries."

6 23 Rejected Covers of Famous Books

In a way, this is the most terrifying dragon tattoo a person can have.

"There's an old policy about judging books by their covers, but we can't remember what it was on account of our policy towards memorizing stuff from books that don't have awesome dragons on the cover."

5 19 Evil Things Rich People and Corporations Get Away With

For the rest of us, 'Double Irish' just means filling half of our coffee cup with cheap whiskey because we're broke.

Google only paid 2.4% in taxes in 2010 2010 Income Tax Rates Corporate Tax Income Tax Rate First $50.000 15% 00- $75.000 25% $75,000-$100,000 34% $100

"We don't want to alarm anyone, but there are a lot of shitty people on this planet doing equally shitty things."

4 5 Eerily Specific Things Every Human Does Exactly the Same

Almost every major civilization has had a love affair with a scaly, fake mythological creature, which is a) adorable, and b) intriguing as hell.

CRACKED ACROSS THE GLOBE. HUMANS DEVELOPED DIFFERENT SKIN TONES. CUSTOMS AND WAYS TO SHOVEL FOOD INTO OUR FACES. BUT WE ALL CAME UP WITH THE SAME MYTH

"There's also a single word shared by pretty much every language on the planet. It's not a big word. Some have questioned if it is even a proper word at all, but it's one you've uttered in the last week."

3 5 Insane Facts That Will Change How You View Christianity

Before Marcion, the Christian Bible as we know it did not exist. There was no known segregation between the "Old" (Jewish) and "New" (Christian) Testaments before him.

According to Marcion of Sinope, the Old Testament God was basically the devil. Even if you're unfamiliar with the guy, you might have heard about his

"We feel like we know the general history of Christianity: Christ was born, he spouted some stuff about free love and messed with the man (the Ro-man), then bada-boom-bada-bing, his followers rule the world. But there are several chapters too awkward, terrifying, or just plain embarrassing for your average Sunday school teacher to handle."

2 5 Famous People Who Succeeded Long After They Should've Quit

Farewell and thank you, Alan Rickman! You give our stagnant, creaky bones hope yet.

Alan Rickman. the best bad-quy actor maybe ever, the man behind Hans Gruber and Professor Snape, started his film career at age 42. CRACKED

"Rickman was cast as one of the leads in the stage version of the book Les Liaisons Dangereuses. The play was a hit and was soon adapted by Hollywood as Dangerous Liaisons. Boom! Success! Everyone involved in it became internationally famous! Except Rickman, because they replaced him with John Malkovich."

1 5 Reasons the Scariest Thing Ever Written Is a Kids' Book

And now that Guillermo del Toro is adapting "Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark" into a film trilogy, we might as well all go ahead and sink our meager savings into adult diapers.