Going from script to screen can be a lot like getting burnt bacon grease out of a frying pan. It seems like it'll be easy, but by the end of the whole process, everyone is exhausted (and smells like delicious BLTs).
But unlike your kitchen exploits ("Screw this, I'm just going toss this pan in the yard, next to that crappy pasta maker somebody jumped on"), a film production is generally contractually obligated to keep marching forward ... even if the cops show up. Here are the kind of unforeseen horror stories that will someday be taught in film schools to weed out the faint of heart.
7 The New Pirates Of The Caribbean Movie Battles, Among Many Things, A Rogue Pirate
Walt Disney Pictures
It's already been four years since our last look at Captain Jack Sparrow -- arguably the most "normal" role Johnny Depp has ever played -- and it'll be at least another two before we finally see Pirates 5 on the silver screen. It's been hit with long-term delays a couple of times, as if Davy Jones himself doesn't want us to see it.
Early on in filming, things got a little hairy when a man dressed as a pirate, complete with a live parrot, pulled a knife on security as he tried to board the Black Pearl, Jack Sparrow's pirate ship. The man was able to get as far as he did because people thought he was an extra, since he happened to be in the one place in the world where a pirate costume is good camouflage. After making some threats, the man fled into the bushes, disgracing the honor of pirates everywhere.
Gold Coast Bulletin
Actually, he might have been dressed as your weird cousin who "went to Burning Man ... for six months."
Meanwhile, the film has been having several animal problems as well. Co-star Jack the Monkey, a capuchin who's been portrayed by several different monkeys over the course of the series, was placed in quarantine by Australian animal control. This should come as a surprise to nobody, because Australia has a notable interest in keeping any more potentially dangerous animals out. However, this turned laughable and then very serious when Depp's wife Amber Heard attempted to smuggle her Yorkies into the country. She was caught, and will likely face a hefty fine in lieu of jail time.
Meanwhile, her participation in this crime continues to go unpunished.
Finally, on top of everything else, Johnny Depp managed to royally fuck up his hand. He injured it off-set so badly that he had to fly back to the United States for surgery, requiring a pin to be inserted into it. All of this collective bullshit inflated the budget by over $70 million before they even finished filming, which is the Universe's way of saying, "Maybe it's time to reboot Condorman instead."
6 The Maze Runner Cast Goes Grave Robbing
20th Century Fox
After some success at adapting The Maze Runner to a film, it only made sense to tackle the remaining books in the young adult series. But while filming Maze Runner movie number two, The Scorch Trials, the cast and crew experienced some setbacks. And by "setbacks," we mean that they discovered they were filming on an ancient Native American burial ground.
Even their off-camera stories were ripped off from better movies.
This could have been problem-free if everyone wasn't hell-bent on desecrating the place. According to one of the film's stars, most of the cast "just takes stuff, you know, obviously," sort of like the older brother who sneaks an extra $100 bill from the bank when nobody's looking. As if the idea of not stealing is completely alien to movie stars. Apparently, after listening to the owner of the Diamond Tail Ranch tell the cast and crew to leave the land be, the cast proceeded to immediately pick up and pocket several artifacts.
20th Century Fox
In their defense, it's not like they were going to be taking away fond memories of filming Boy, It Sure Is Hot Out There: The Movie!
Of course, since this is real life, there were no consequences for the desecration of the site ... except for five of the actors all falling ill within a week of leaving the set. The Boxcar Children never would've pulled this shit.