At first, everything was coming up tree-shimmying puppies, iron babies and tickle rats, but they you were all like, "Nope. We need a shrieking peek into the abyss as a palate cleanser."
Teddy Roosevelt hunted with Catahoula leopard dogs, an amazing species that can climb trees and fight wild hogs and, most impressively, keep up with Teddy Roosevelt.
"Out of necessity, these dogs became incredibly versatile, developing not only the aforementioned tree climbing ability but also webbed feet for swimming and extremely high intelligence."
She's been secretly writing jokes for all you half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf herders.