Screw whatever your parents told you. You'll get far more attention doing weird shit than keeping on the straight and narrow.
Thankfully, niceness can be corrected with a newspaper smack on the nose, or a couple of solid heartbreaks.
"Nice guys think their good intentions make up for their pathetic failure to deliver. They're the Democratic Party of boyfriends."
To keep these paint-wielding strangers out of their stomping grounds, the homeless set up elaborate, and sometimes lethal, Home Alone-esque booby traps.
"The less lucky ones might find themselves impaled on a spike, or neck-deep in a communal toilet filled with months of hobo shit. Which shouldn't sound any worse than normal shit, but it somehow does, doesn't it?"