If we're going to keep getting arrested for letting the kids play outside, at least throw us a bone and give us a few cool Kit-Kat flavors and tolerable special effects.
Spoonful of sugar? More like spoonful... of METH.
"In song, Mary Poppins tells us she's super thankful Bert isn't a rapist. Out of nowhere. Which leads to the question: Were we supposed to think he was a rapist?"
You find remains like this someplace so hellish that it's only good for burying people - or what you hope was a person - and for NASA to test out its Mars equipment.
"What's the most depressing thing you could find as an archaeologist? A puppy cemetery? The mummy of your own father, carbon dated to be at least 2,000 years old somehow? A literal bag of dicks? How about 12 dead babies arranged in a circle around a bunch of mummies?"