We took whole articles, and then, using a USDA-inspected process, selected only the finest informational snouts and hooves and lovingly crafted the equivalent of a fact hot dog -- for you, the Internet. Share these with your unenlightened friends on social media -- or put them in your Ramen.
They're our tastiest nuggets and might even make you look smarter. We call them Crackedoids.
Today, you need only two things: "Ace of Spades" and -- to hell with it, you only need "Ace of Spades."
It's not enough to just have the camera love you, son.
Take a look at Lemmy. He keeps his microphone tilted up and doesn't cast his eyes at the audience, which might help him overcome some aesthetic hurdles.