If there's one thing the Internet excels at, it's ruining your childhood (just Google "Pikachu Princess Peach Rule 34 Anal" to see what we mean). But it takes a true artist to really turn a beloved character from your youth into something that makes you want to sleep with the lights on. So in the spirit of Halloween, let's take an unflinching gaze upon ...
6Dissected Cartoon Characters
As children, we probably didn't spend much time wondering what our favorite characters looked like with an exposed chest cavity and visible digestive tract. Unless you were one of those kids who had to sit in the coatroom because you couldn't stop biting the other children. Now, thanks to artist-designer Jason Freeny and his anatomically correct re-creations of fictional personalities, we no longer have to go through life not knowing whether Papa Smurf has a colon.
Lego Guy does not.
Freeny's portfolio spans the Saturday-morning pantheon of cartoons, newer prime-time shows like Family Guy, video games, and lunatic toys of his own design, ruining the joy of virtually every character he touches by highlighting the humanity within the fantasy. His most disturbing specimen, however, is the most anatomically incorrect Lucy Van Pelt we've ever seen.
Unlike the rest of his designs, Freeny's Lucy (based on a vinyl figure sculpted by professional crazy person Ron English) was insane to begin with -- she has frog monsters for hair, some kind of tiny alien for a nose, and two Snoopy heads for breasts. The bisection of such an uncomfortably sexualized monster reveals five different skulls, though luckily it doesn't extend low enough to reveal the anatomical structure of the elastic Noid face living in her crotch.
For reference, here is the original figure:
Well, this is a more expected type of creepy.
We have no idea what compelled him to give a grade school know-it-all dimensional void lords for hair and a juicy rap-video ass, but we're pretty sure each and every one of us is now on a government watchlist. And while we're on the subject ...
5Every Cartoon Character You Have Ever Loved, Reduced to a Skeleton
South Korean artist Hyungkoo Lee has a Bachelor's in fine arts from Hongik University in Korea, a Master's from Yale, and a PhD in creeping us right the hell out of the window. A recent exhibit of Lee's explores the eternal question: "What would Donald Duck's nephews look like if they were dead for a few years and then got resurrected by a voodoo curse?" The answer, of course, is "Nothing you would ever want to see."
Now wish you never did, using Huey's wishbone.
Lee's series was initially on display at the Arario Gallery in Cheonan, South Korea, though it's been featured across the globe. The goal of these resin skeletons is to examine the link between human beings and cartoon characters, which are a human creation. Unlike humans, cartoons are immortal figures, frozen in time. By re-creating them as skeletons with fully realized anatomical structures, Lee is forcing us to consider these characters as simultaneously alive and dead. Honestly, as many times as Elmer Fudd has shot Daffy Duck in the face, this is a bridge you'd think we'd have crossed before now.
But that's kind of what makes these so freaky -- these cartoon characters are old. In real time, yeah, they would all be nothing but dry bones by now, insects having eaten away their flesh. So here's Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner, as they would really exist in a world in which the gaping maw of Death awaits all living things:
A mercy compared to the usual cycle of TNT and rebirth.
And here's Bugs Bunny, as he would be discovered in some old shoebox behind the Warner Bros. back lot:
"What's up, doc?"
And here's Goofy, death having frozen him in a position of taking an eternal shit:
They found Elvis the same way.
According to his artist's statement, Lee took it as a challenge to sculpt the skeletal structure of Looney Tunes and Disney personalities without any external "figural proof," because minimum-wage Warner Bros. animators never bothered to diagram Foghorn Leghorn's musculature. Lee spent several years on schematics and anatomical studies in order to craft as correct a version of these characters as possible, delighting serial killers the world over by providing an excruciatingly detailed map of Mickey Mouse's vivisected skull where once there was only our involuntary, terror-provoked imagination.
"M-E-N, T-A-L, S-P-I-N-E."