#3. God's Paper Airplane: The Copenhagen Airport
The next time you're flying into Denmark, look out the window and you might spot what appears to be a gigantic paper airplane thrown by Galactus: Destroyer of Worlds.
Vilhelm Lauritzen Arkitekter
He really shouldn't be playing with his food like that.
It's actually part of a walkway at Copenhagen Airport, one of the oldest and largest airports in Europe. Each year it sees millions of tourists, businessmen, and irritating college students claiming they're there to "study abroad" when they really just want to smoke weed and rant about the evils of capitalism.
Vilhelm Lauritzen Arkitekter
"They spend billions on these flying bricks instead of feeding the homeless! It makes me so
angry, I almost want to tear up my first-class ticket in protest."
If you don't have enough of daddy's money to visit Europe for a mid-school vacation, never fear: Someone made a detailed flight simulator model of the whole airport, so you too can experience the unique sensation of landing a plane in a plane.
Somewhere, Xhibit sheds a single tear of joy.
#2. The UOB Giant Robot Building
If this building wasn't located in Bangkok, we'd swear it's where the robot policemen go when they head home for the night.
This is actually an office tower that serves as the headquarters of the United Overseas Bank's Thailand Division. Hey, just because you work for a universally despised parasite industry, that doesn't mean you can't have a little fun! The building stands 17 stories tall, the eyes are executive suites, the eyelids are sunshades, and the giant antennae are lightning rods. At night, the eyes flash to the tune of "The Robot Symphony" by Jacques Bekaert, and that's ... not ominous or anything. Also, we're just going to go ahead and quote this out of context: "His nuts were the biggest in the world at time of development."
The building was designed by architect Sumet Jumsai after watching his son play with a toy robot, so we're sure the people of Bangkok are just happy the kid wasn't playing with a My Little Pony or something (although Fluttershy might make a pretty sweet addition to the skyline). Jumsai is definitely a man after our own heart: When asked why he built the robot, he simply responded, "Why not the robot?"
Sumet Jumsai/Wiki Commons
And why not make it extra spooky and overlordy at night?
#1. The Quetzalcoatl's Nest Apartment Complex
Mexican architect Javier Senosiain was given the assignment of designing a small apartment complex for a half-hectare property. Cakewalk, right? Ah, but there was a catch: The land had a huge ravine running through it, filling the property with oak trees, irregular slopes, and caves. Only about 5 percent of the land was actually usable by normal standards.
Rather than building a tiny apartment complex for midgets and contortionists, Javier went full Super-Senosiain and built a monument to madness that quite literally snakes its way through the trees.
Jake Roberts goes to heaven.
Named after the Aztec snake god, Quetzalcoatl's Nest grants its owners the most badass home address this side of Cthulhu's Court. The twisting, two-story-tall snake body is located just outside of Mexico City and houses 10 apartments that look as cozy as anything inside a gargantuan god-snake could possibly be. For all of its sinister appearances, however, Quetzalcoatl's Nest is very environmentally friendly: The only changes made to the ravine were done for safety purposes, and the facility even has its own wastewater recycling center and irrigation system.
The sink offering venom instead of water is unnerving at first, but you get used to it quickly.
Even cooler is the facility's main entrance, which is, of course, the snake's huge gaping maw. If you're lucky enough to snag a condo inside the ancient tribal deity, be sure to warn your friends and family beforehand: Nobody's entirely comfortable just strolling right on into what appears to be Cobra Commander's summer home.
Organic Architecture via. atlasobscura.com
But if he does live there, just break in and take shit. He never stopped the Joes, and he sure as fuck won't stop you.
Kel Zhang is proud that he's finally getting paid to write dick jokes on the Internet. Follow him on Twitter if you like science jokes.
Related Reading: If you'd prefer your hilarious buildings with an added jot of insanity, click here and learn about the freedom ship. And dear lord, the Palace of the Soviets would've been an exercise in madness. Like to close out your reading with some ancient buildings that still somehow exist? We're on it.