5 Hilariously Insane Works of Art Made by Celebrities

#2. Ringo Starr's Digital Drawings

Ringo Starr

Did you access this webpage without a state-provided assistant? Do you have enough hand-eye coordination to feed yourself? If you can say "yes" to both, then congratulations, you can make art with MS Paint. But the question is, how much can you get paid for it? Good luck topping Ringo: His kindergarten-level digital art goes for thousands.

Ringo Starr
We did not Photoshop this. Nobody involved with this even knows what Photoshop is.

As far as Beatlemaniacs are concerned, the second coming of Jesus already happened, and this time around God Voltroned his son into four British blokes who were only truly powerful when they all got together. For all the jokes, Ringo Starr is a pretty talented drummer. Precisely none of that talent made it into his artwork. Maybe it could, if he wasn't so overpowered by creative apathy: By his own admission, the drawings only take him a few minutes on his iPad. He started doing them to kill downtime in hotels. He started selling them because he remembered he was in the fucking Beatles, and he could buy a small island with what his bellybutton lint goes for on eBay.

Ringo Starr
It's a more sound business plan than trying to re-peddle his solo albums.

Now, before you start hating on Ringo, he doesn't keep the money; it all goes to charity. So it's actually kind of cool that he burns two minutes of his time on crude line drawings that he knows will reap small fortunes for a good cause. It is slightly less cool that he can't spare enough time or fucks to so much as Google the correct spelling of "elephant."

Ringo Starr
Couple that with using "a" instead of "an," and you realize why John never let him write anything.

#1. Saddam Hussein's Blood Quran

Scott Peterson/Getty Images News/Getty Images

The list of obscene/offensive/inhumane crap Saddam Hussein did could fill a book. And it did! No, we're not talking about his terrible romance novels. This is somehow a worse crime against literature: the Blood Quran.

Reuters/smh.com.au
First draft: "I do not like it, Infidel-I-Am/I do not like the Blood Quran."

After his son survived an assassination attempt, Saddam wanted to thank God for it. Other people might attend church service more often, donate to charity, or just stop killing people for an afternoon or two. Saddam decided the best way to show his gratitude was to have the holiest book of Muslim faith written in his own blood. Over two years of regular bloodletting, he gave over 7 gallons for his unholy cause. A calligrapher, who no doubt had a gun to his head at some point, dutifully transcribed the Quran using the bodily fluids of a sadistic dictator as his ink.

Robert Lawrence
Which was probably better than the bodily fluids he wrote the romance novel in.

When Saddam's regime fell, citizens smashed his statues, burned his paintings, and just generally disapproved of his choices overall. However, the Quran is still the Quran, even when written in the blood of a crazy asshole dictator. Destroying it is a big no-no, both legally and religiously, yet treating the book as holy is also touchy, since it is inherently blasphemous. So the Sunnis holding the book keep it behind glass, displayed page by page in a mosque that has three locked doors. To gain access, you'd need three keys from three different people: the curator, the police chief, and a third person not even known to the public. Presumably it's a powerful wizard with a big glowing red weak point.

Scott Peterson/Getty Images News/Getty Images
The clerics also strictly forbid use of the Konami Code.

In short, the whole thing is a Catch-22. Nobody (Baath nutjobs aside) wants to use or touch the Blood Quran, but no one can figure out how to get rid of it inoffensively. Ain't that just like Saddam? One last dick move from beyond the grave.


Related Reading: Artwork isn't the only thing celebrities went a little crazy on, if Jeff Bridges' blog is to be believed. However, some famous people do survive outside the limelight, like Vanilla Ice and his house-renovating career.

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