3 What Is the Exact Timeline for Every Event in the Marvel Universe?
Marvel is the creator of one of the most inventive shared universes that doesn't involve different fictional characters having freaky butt sex. And now with half a dozen film franchises all crossing over one another, surely you must have wondered how it all fits together -- what was Bruce Banner doing while Tony Stark was farting around in Iron Man 2? How long did it take Tony to build the first Iron Man suit? Well, fear not, dear reader, because Andrew Norfolk is here to help you:
Rich Drees & Andrew Norfolk
Whoa, tomorrow's the fourth anniversary of Coulson hiring the Consultant. Clear our schedule!
Norfolk compiled the entire Marvel universe into one timeline, giving us specific dates and even approximate times for everything that's transpired in it. For example, did you know that Tony Stark attends a firefighter benefit on October 21, 2009, right between testing the Mark II Armor (October 20) and blowing up the Ten Ring gang in Afghanistan (October 22)? No, because you are sane and didn't sift through Iron Man and all of its supplementary materials with a fine-toothed comb, scanning for date clues. But really, it's as simple as obsessively studying every single frame of film and line of dialogue for dates, and then counting the days backward and forward to orient the other events.
For example, Norfolk knows that Killian initiated the testing of Project Extremis on June 25, 2009, because that date briefly appears in tiny print on the monitor in Iron Man 3 when Tony hacks the bad guys' computer. One glimpse of a partial date in The Incredible Hulk let him match it up with the "Days Without Incident" counter on screen, and boom -- we can now draw up an entire timeline of Bruce Banner's life.
Rich Drees & Andrew Norfolk
Remember that time Banner fled Pakistan? Andrew does.
The timeline contains a very user-friendly interactive slider that starts a few thousand years ago when "The Dark Elves of Svartalfheim attempt to conquer the nine realms" and goes all the way through the events of Iron Man 3 (December 2013). What, no Winter Soldier? Come on, don't be lazy, dude!
2 How Would the New Season of Arrested Development Look in Order?
The above headline probably doesn't sound all that impressive unless you've actually seen the Netflix-only fourth season of Arrested Development. The 15 episodes were released simultaneously and take place at the same time, each episode following the events through the eyes of a different character. The whole thing forms one huge, labyrinthine meta-joke full of intersecting storylines and callbacks that would probably need six viewings to untangle.
"So she's about to blow up Herman Cain, who gets a check that we find out is ACTUALLY royalties for her daughter,
who's coincidentally in the next room where asarglebarglegoopeldeygoo."
Of course, only the most passionate and/or deranged fan would watch the entire season that many times. And only one fan would get the urge to load all eight hours or so into editing software and rearrange every scene to put it all together chronologically, either for science or to be able to watch it while stoned and not get confused, whatever their motives may be.
A Reddit user named morphinapg did just that and then uploaded the "fixed" season online. He wound up with 12 distinct episodes, now told in chronological order, culminating in the finale of "Cinco de Cuatro." The episodes vary in length, from a standard 21-minute show to a full hour-long feature. Oh, and get this: morphinapg didn't just splice these episodes together over the course of a year, fiddling around with it in his spare time -- that would be rookie shit right there. No, morphinapg had all of the episodes in the correct order and ready for download a week after release.
Places with shitty Internet couldn't download the series within a week.
Yep, most of us weren't even through watching the new season in the time it took him to take the whole thing apart, scene by scene, just so we could see how the story would work when everything was lined up in sequence. And it was all worth it, because he was rewarded by having the entire thing immediately yanked off the Internet. Since, you know, the whole endeavor violates every copyright law known to man. It's not everyone who gets the kind of cooperation from the creators that we have in this next entry ...