#4. Man-Baby Pubert from Addams Family Values
"What have you done to him, you maniacs!"
The Addams Family movies are full of disturbing and darkly comic props and costumes, but that's their schtick -- this is a world where a sister nearly executes her brother via the electric chair, and it's played for laughs. One of the only intentionally cute things to come out of the sequel, Addams Family Values, is Pubert, the infant son of Gomez and Morticia:
Or the son of Hitler and Katy Perry.
Gaze upon that mustachioed Casanova and tell us that isn't most adorable goddamn chunkster you've ever seen, yes he is! Pubert looks like the exact kind of lovable rascal that would narrowly avoid death in all sorts of Rube Goldberg-esque shenanigans, and he does just that in the movie. The stunt team couldn't find any parents willing to let their uglier, less important babies be thrown through plate glass windows, so they settled on creating Pubert dummies like this one:
"I'm lonely. Let me hold on to your soul."
Suddenly that charming little baby-man is a repulsive man-baby. Something about the soulless eyes, facial scars, and penciled facial hair make him look like the world's only infant pedophile.
#3. Tom Hanks' Loincloth/Penis Pouch from Cast Away
And here, friends, is your next Halloween costume.
If you wanted to pick out any prop from the desert island flick Cast Away, well, it would probably be that volleyball. The only other thing in the movie that gets closer to Tom Hanks is his makeshift loincloth, which spent weeks riding up his ass like a LinkedIn friend request. It might be a little mildewy and smell faintly of taint grime, but that's par for the course when it comes to set-worn wardrobe.
20th Century Fox
And the cloth is made from a fine pubic hair-polyester blend.
But looking at the item online, there's a wrinkle in the prop you might not have foreseen. That mesh pocket sort of stands out, doesn't it? According to the auction, the loincloth comes complete with a "hidden 'support' inside for the actor's comfort." Translation: That there's a genuine dick holster.
A marooned survivor alone on an island is pretty much guaranteed to start freeballing it at some point or another, but the production team knew that they couldn't have Tom Hanks' Oscar-winning Wilsons peeking out during pivotal scenes. And you'll be thankful for that feature, too, when you wear it to the office on Casual Friday.
#2. The Scalp of a Munchkin from The Wizard of Oz
Premiere Props via LiveAuctioneers
It's weird watching the classic Wizard of Oz and realizing that Toto has been dead for a long time. Of course, most everyone involved in a movie from 1939 is dead by now, too. That includes the munchkins, of which there is only one known surviving member.
He's the brute in the pea-green jumper.
As time goes on, artifacts from the movie become harder to come by. Those desperate for some piece of the Golden Age of Hollywood are left with slim pickings, which means you get some pretty disgusting leftovers, like the bald cap that once belonged to a gleeful member of the Lollipop Guild, whose only crime was celebrating the death of an enemy and handing out painfully obvious advice like "Walk down this brightly colored path that is also the only road out of town."
Whoever held on to the piece didn't think that the flaky papier mache and real human hair were gruesome enough, so they found a way to replicate the head of a munchkin on which it once rested. And for some reason, they made it look as if the poor sod has been dead for a day or two.
#1. Arnold Schwarzenegger's Severed Heads
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One little-known benefit of having starred in a lot of violent sci-fi movies is that your head gets sculpted a lot. Just ask Arnold Schwarzenegger, who lives his life knowing that multiple strangers own rubber copies of his head, most of which are either screaming or undergoing some kind of trauma. Others are just ... unsettling.
It's like if you sculpted Arnold's face from a picture of Rainier Wolfcastle.
That model, for instance, looks like Madame Tussauds left a wax sculpture of Gary Busey out in the sun. Technically, the prop was never meant to be viewed this close -- it was made as a part of a miniature Mars set for Total Recall. At that scale, the model didn't have to be a super accurate representation of Arnie, but it should approximate a human being. Then again, the faithfulness of the other Total Recall creations doesn't help their creep factor:
It may have also slipped through a wormhole from an alternate universe where Arnold played Rene Belloq.
At least that "blonde Arnold" looks like he could be deep in thought, or at least staring at a really fat pigeon outside his window. These other horrors, however, are more appropriate for your average Black Mass. In other words, there's no better way to light up your rec room.
Related Reading: Speaking of props, check out the most hilariously incompetent props in Congressional history. And hey, did you know Star Trek props wind up in every damn sci-fi movie? While we're at it, check out these brilliant clues hidden in the background of movies.