#4. "Soare cu Dinti" (Romanian)
What It Means:
Weather that looks great until you actually step out in it. Specifically, a beautiful sunny but frigid day.
You wake up and look out the window at a splendidly sunny day, so you forgo the jacket and gleefully stroll out the front door like a character in the opening credits of an '80s sitcom, only to have Mother Nature bite you straight in the left ass cheek with her prickly fangs, which in this case are also icicles. We didn't pull that toothy image out of thin air, by the way. The phrase "soare cu dinti" originates in the homeland of Pimp Dracula himself, Romania, and literally translates to "sun with teeth."
"You can run, but you won't escape."
And apparently Mother Nature just can't get enough of pulling this "psych!" on the Romanian folk, judging by the fact that the term appears in their weather forecasts again and again and again and again. If that doesn't convince you of the phenomenon's ubiquitousness, it's also the name of a Romanian pop song by a band called Robin and the Backstabbers, which is featured in an uber appropriate music video consisting of a full three minutes of what appears to be one of the band members taking video of the snowy (yet sunny!) Romanian countryside through a car window:
If that's their answer to "Walking on Sunshine," color us unsurprised that Romanians are so obsessed with how much everything bites.
And speaking of helpful seasonal slang ...
#3. "Utepils" (Norwegian)
What It Means:
That first beer you drink outside when the weather finally turns warm.
It's more than a little surprising that, in a culture where the spring is so closely associated with a weeklong holiday celebrated by getting precariously shitfaced, no American has ever come up with a term for a celebratory beer enjoyed in the faint spring breeze under the newly warm rays of our good friend Mr. Golden Sun. The Norwegians, on the other hand, having no such linguistic shortcomings and apparently enjoying the outdoors in much the same way we Americans do (i.e., drunk), have a word for it, and that word is "utepils."
"Eat a dick, soare cu dinti."
In trying to decipher the possible origin of such a term, our imagination conjures images of countless Norwegians bundled up in thick animal hides to fend off the icy effects of a winter straight out of Game of Thrones, endlessly polishing their horned helmets with lutefisk oil and vigorously air guitaring/moshing to death metal in a feeble attempt to fend off the merciless, omnipresent cold (and that exhausts all of our Norwegian stereotypes, thank you). In a culture like that, it's no wonder that utepils would be regarded as an almost sacred icon.
Of course, according to Google Translate, "utepils" simply translates to "outdoor beer." So, you know, it's probably that.
#2. "Drachenfutter" (German)
What It Means:
A gift a man gives to his wife to apologize when he's done something stupid (typically staying out way too late).
Hey, guys: Raise your hand if you've ever bought your wife or girlfriend a gift in order to make up for some terrible thing you did. You never said that was why you were buying it; it's one of those unspoken truths that make a relationship function. Well, now raise your hand if one night, while staying out too late, you decided to stop somewhere and pick up a peace offering along the way -- which, since the only stores open at 3 a.m. are those of the shady convenience variety, ended up being a pair of red panties folded into the shape of a rose (on a stick).
Alexander Lebedev/Hemera/Getty Images
"And just like the noble boy shorts, I will always support you, while not getting all up in your shit."
Yeah, that didn't work out so well for you, did it? But apparently you just need to step up your gift-giving prowess and do a bit more planning, because in Germany they have a term for averting your spouse's fury by way of a wee bit of good old-fashioned bribery: "drachenfutter." The situation is seemingly so common in Germany that, on Saturday night (or Biernacht, as it's known in German), scores of soon-to-be-plastered guys show up at bars with wrapped gifts tucked under their arms to be used as peace offerings should they actually manage to stumble into the right house at the end of the night. And if they don't, well ... mugger deterrent, we guess?
"Oh, God, lilies are my favorite! My horoscope said this would happen."
If you happen to be some type of linguistic savant, you've probably already figured out that the term literally translates to "dragon fodder." We're not sure if the "dragon" is in reference to the wife herself or is more figuratively referring to her wrath, or for that matter whether the "fodder" is in reference to actual food (the term is sometimes said to specifically refer to chocolates) or to what the husband's dick is going to end up as if he doesn't have something real nice in his hand when he shows up looking like Pig-Pen from Peanuts (except surrounded by a cloud of alcohol vapor instead of filth).
#1. "Tartle" (Scots)
What It Means:
The momentary consternation you feel when you go to introduce someone and realize that you've forgotten his or her name. Can also function as a verb.
It's happened to the best of us. You're at a party (you social butterfly, you) when an old buddy from high school approaches you. "Hey, Steve, you old bastard!" he says vociferously, because for the purposes of this illustration your name is Steve. "Who's this with you?" And that's when, as you turn to introduce him to your date, you realize that you've completely forgotten this guy's name. Did it start with J? Or K? Why is "Aloysius" ringing a bell? You really should remember, because you spent not-insignificant chunks of your adolescence trying to score cheap convenience store beer by his side and holy shit, what kind of an astronomical asshole is he going to think you are for forgetting his freaking name?
"Dude, seriously? We have the same name."
You, dear friend, have just tartled all over yourself. And apparently the Scottish know this feeling better than anyone, because they've coined a one-word term for it (we have to assume this is somehow related to the fact that they also have a variety of whiskey named after them).
To wrap things up with a continuation of our theme of partying and alcohol, here's a little word-association trick for you: Imagine you're throwing a soiree at your place, when Sean Connery unexpectedly shows up. He saunters up to you as only a former 007 can saunter, glances toward his date, and then says, in his big-ass Scottish brogue, "Pardon my tartle." Now, imagine you misunderstood him and he's actually apologizing because his date is an anthropomorphic shelled reptile who just dropped a long, slow deuce on your brand-new carpet.
"Did you have to yell 'Cowabunga!' while you did it?"
You may still forget people's names left and right, but we can now guarantee that "tartle" is one word you'll never forget.
Related Reading: Did you know there's a Japanese word for a beautiful girl, if only viewed from behind. There's also a German word for the excess weight from emotional overeating. Prefer filthy foreign phrases? We've got those too.