6 Hilarious Failures Celebrities Want You to Forget

#3. M. Night Shyamalan Ghost-Wrote She's All That

Miramax Films

The Famous Person:

So much has already been said about the downward spiral of horror/thriller director M. Night Shyamalan's career and his overused "twist ending" gimmick that it's easy to forget that he also tried to make the phrase "jelly side down" sound ominous and scary. Never forget. Never. Forget.

Universal Studios
Twist: It was jam all along.

The Out-of-Character Credit:

Hey, do you remember the 1999 teen comedy She's All That? Of course you do: You have Freddie Prinze Jr.'s entire IMDb page tattooed on your neck, like all sane people. But just to refresh your memory: The movie told the story of a high school jock trying to win a bet by transforming a random "plain" girl into a prom queen because blah blah wacky misunderstanding, emotional confession, and school spirit. The formula is eternal.

Miramax Films
Thankfully they cut the part where he awkwardly asks for a handie in the restroom, which is the formula for real proms.

Shyamalan had a serious hand in writing it. Although the film's officially credited writer, R. Lee Fleming, disputed this claim, the former head of development at Miramax confirmed that Shyamalan substantially rewrote the original script -- the one that finally got the movie greenlit. Shyamalan's contribution to the script was also mentioned by the director during his DVD audio commentary.

Surprised? You shouldn't be. You do recall that Shyamalan wrote Stuart Little, right? Turns out that's the secret twist M. Night's career has been setting us up for all this time: He doesn't write very good movies. Oh, you saw that twist coming? Cool. We totally called The Village back in the day.

Walt Disney
"Our enthusiasm for this project was already dead."

#2. Charlie Kaufman Did Rewrites for Kung Fu Panda 2

DreamWorks Animation/Paramount Pictures

The Famous Person:

Charlie Kaufman is the auteur screenwriter behind such films as Being John Malkovich, Adaptation, and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, all of which use fantastical and metaphysical elements to explore the depths of human nature. He's a smart, incisive, and serious artist ...

The Out-of-Character Credit:

... who polished up the script for Kung Fu Panda 2.

DreamWorks Animation/Paramount Pictures
"Now it says we're the recurring fever dream that Nicolas Cage has while living above a dim sum restaurant."

In the movie, Jack Black plays Po, a tubby panda warrior who battles a peacock voiced by Gary Oldman in order to prevent him from taking over the world with fireworks. Having a strange, neurotic genius like Kaufman work on that kind of kiddie bullshit is like having David Lynch spruce up the script for Frozen.

It's of course tempting to look at this as nothing more than a cynical attempt by DreamWorks to force some artistic name recognition into their stable of wacky animated comedies, but shockingly, Kung Fu Panda 2 actually does feature some very Kaufmanesque elements: It deals with self-doubt, achieving inner peace, and even some surprisingly profound abandonment issues. And really, does it even matter that those themes are explored in scenes where Po dreams that his parents have replaced him with a radish? We're tempted to believe that Kaufman didn't do this one solely for the money, but had some serious emotional problems he could work out only via the medium of panda jump-kicks.

#1. Martin Scorsese Directed the Music Video for Michael Jackson's "Bad"

Jason Merritt/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

The Famous Person:

Martin Scorsese is a versatile director known for his brutal, beautiful, profanity-laden, ultra-violent films. If you're watching Robert De Niro kill somebody, you can bet Scorsese is the one who told him to do it.

The Out-of-Character Credit:

Michael Jackson originally wanted Steven Spielberg or George Lucas to direct the epic, gritty documentary about dance-fighting that was "Bad." But he couldn't get them, so he had to settle for a virtual unknown, a plucky young kid named Martin Scorsese. Oh wait, no -- this was the '80s, well after Scorsese had already made Mean Streets, Taxi Driver, and Raging Bull. So why the hell did Scorsese, an established artist seeing huge critical success for his uncompromising vision, agree to direct a goofy extended vanity project for a pop star?


Oh, right. Because money is a thing.

Well, at least "Bad" tried to have a story: In the video, Jacko plays a private school kid who returns home to the streets during break, and his old crew, led by Wesley Snipes, realizes he's gone soft. He assures them, however, that he's still bad. Then he promptly proves himself as wrong as humanly possible by breaking into song and dance about what a dangerous criminal he is.

Surely the goofiness of the video wasn't Scorsese's fault, right? Maybe it was all due to the terrible script? Nope, because that would set the blame solely on Richard Price, aka the man who wrote some of the best episodes of The Wire. That's right: Two of this century's greatest minds in the crime-drama genre have actually collaborated on a project, and this was the result:

Epic Records


Epic Records


Epic Records



Robin Warder is the co-owner of a pop culture website called The Back Row and was recently involved in the making of a sci-fi short film called Jet Ranger of Another Tomorrow. Follow Joe Oliveto on Twitter and good things will happen. Probably to someone other than you, but whatever.

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Related Reading: Speaking of assholish celebrity behavior, did you hear about the time Brad Pitt convinced his friends Y2K was real? Or that Jimmy Page once kidnapped a 14-year-old girl? While you're at it, learn about John Lennon the abusive alcoholic.

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