3This ... Thing Has a Detachable Jaw and Glows Red
If you're not familiar with how deep-sea evolution works, basically it's like this: All of the greatest fears and darkest nightmares of humanity rise up to the atmosphere, where they are eventually carried over the oceans and rained down, causing our collective terror to descend into the cold darkness and, over time, congeal into writhing horrors like you see above.
Also there's probably like pressure adaptation or some shit involved.
In order to cope with the knowledge that we share the planet with such monsters, we humans give these creatures exceptionally ridiculous names. This one we call the stoplight loosejaw, which sounds like the worst SpongeBob spinoff imaginable.
"Stoplight" refers to how the fish glows red. This is especially helpful, because most deep-sea desserts (the loosejaw's preferred term for its neighbors) can't detect any colors outside of blue. By illuminating red instead, the loosejaw can essentially hunt with an invisible flashlight.
Herring PJ, Cope C., via Wikimedia
Which seems preferable to dying with those glowing red eyes fresh on the mind.
Then there's the "loosejaw" part. The stoplight can almost completely separate its lower jaw from its head and stretch its head so far past its body that it damn near decapitates itself. This creates a Mortal Kombat-esque spike pit that can quickly impale any passing prey, as well as cause any freaked-out witnesses to wonder when the babies will start popping out of its neck.
Charles Holder, via Wikipedia
It almost looks like it's smiling. Enjoy seeing that whenever you close your eyes from now on.
Also, in order to reduce water resistance (and for added general creepiness), there's no floor to the stoplight's lower jaw. This allows it to droop its goofy-yet-charmingly-awful bear-trap jaw to ludicrously low levels and keep its head dangling by a membrane, like an execution performed by a dull, rusty ax. To its prey, it no doubt appears to have been brutally murdered ... right up until it eats them.
2The Vomiting Underwater Magic Carpet
This is the glorious flatworm, a gaudy invertebrate native to the tropical Indo-Pacific that has surely made more than one concerned diver check his tank mixtures to ensure that nobody laced his oxygen with LSD. Just watch this ridiculous, hypnotic thing in action:
Its spellbinding undulation, allowing it to effortlessly glide through the water like an anthropomorphized afghan, is accomplished thanks to countless hairs along its length that act as tiny paddles. In addition, its bright colors alert all but the stupidest would-be predators that it's poisonous and not to be eaten. This isn't actually the case (they're as harmless as can be), but still, we've never seen a creature that looked less like food. Or less like a creature. Seriously, this should not exist as a living thing:
It's mesmerizing. Stare at it too long and you soon won't want to do anything else. Just watch it dancing endlessly through the water until you want to go join it, under the sea. Forever.
"Or at least until you drown in a hypnotic trance. I'm sort of indifferent after that."
Why, you could almost think they're beautiful ... until you watch one eat. They engulf their prey whole like a zombified gypsy shawl, then a tubelike appendage grinds the unfortunate victim into a pulpy, chewy goop. As for its after-dinner poop, it just pukes up anything it can't digest, since it doesn't have an anus and all.