#3. World Record Crop Mazes
Observe the corny shenanigans of Brett Herbst:
See: You really do need cursive when you grow up.
This particular work holds the world record for the largest corn maze, clocking in at just over 12 acres. That is an entirely different breed of labyrinth from the wimpy little Halloween corn mazes of our youth. A 12-acre corn maze might actually have a literal minotaur at the center, waiting to battle all those who find him. How would we ever prove otherwise? By walking 12 acres? Not bloody likely.
You can see from that first photo that Herbst has a thing for science fiction. Here's his Star Wars-theme maze, which, despite being agriculture, is still a better prequel than Phantom Menace.
Smith Rock Ranch
It's dedicated to Maize Windu.
Herbst is a little secretive about the exact method he uses to create his mazes nowadays, because his success has spawned a few large-scale corn maze copycats (food labyrinths are apparently a booming industry). But he does reveal that, initially, all of his mazes were carved out by hand with a weed whacker.
"It takes a strong set of arms to get through this much whacking."
Probably makes you feel like a bit of a dick for complaining about the weekend yard work.
#2. Portraits So Immense, You Can See Them Only from the Air
If you were flying over Belfast last year, you might have spotted a gargantuan child's face staring back at you from the ground.
Or a face flying through the air and closing in on you.
After quietly closing the window, downing the rest of your scotch, and trying not to go all William Shatner on the flight staff, you may have brought up Google and found that it was a piece by Cuban-American artist Jorge Rodriguez-Gerada called "WISH."
And also that it was way, way bigger than you could have imagined. You get the idea from that photo that maybe it's the size of a small parking lot or something. Here's what it looked like from the ground:
Ulster Bank/Belfast Festival at Queens
"Yo, your penguin sucks."
Yes, that tiny dot at the bottom right is a man standing beside construction equipment. "WISH" spanned 11 acres, took 18 months to complete, and was built out of 2,000 tons of sand and 2,000 tons of soil. Imagine trying to plan something that immense, toiling away at it every day for a year and a half when, at the artist's level, all you see is this:
It's a fulfilling job, if you like dirt, and lines.
More unbelievable is that most people in Belfast couldn't possibly appreciate Rodriguez-Gerada's effort, because there was no point in the city high enough to see it from. The artwork could only be viewed by an aircraft, a government drone camera, or a vacationing Superman.
Ulster Bank/Belfast Festival at Queens
All three would battle over it, and the artwork would be destroyed.
This wasn't Rodriguez-Gerada's first attempt at creating artwork exclusively for low-flying aliens. Here's one of his previous works, a portrait of Barack Obama on a beach in Barcelona:
"Proof That Obama Came from Foreign Soil!" -Fox News
This one took 650 metric tons of sand and gravel. Here they are applying it by hand with small shovels:
By contrast: On more than one occasion, we've bitten into a Snickers wrapper because our hands were slippery and we couldn't wait long enough to get it open the normal way.
#1. Gift Wrapping Huge Chunks of the Planet
This is the single largest artwork ever created:
Kaldor Public Art Projects
It's almost twice the size of your mother.
It was called "Wrapped Coast" and involved gift-wrapping 1 million square feet of Australian coastline in fabric. The piece was larger than Mount Rushmore -- so large, in fact, that it could not be viewed in its entirety from any one vantage point. Clearly these are the actions of some small army run by an insane person. Cobra Commander is our first guess. But no, Wrapped Coast was the result of artist Christo and his wife Jeanne-Claude's relentless appetite for covering things in other things. They've gift-wrapped the Pont Neuf Bridge in Paris:
It's also technically the world's biggest dental dam.
The Reichstag in Germany:
In traditional warm German summer colors.
And even these entire friggin' islands in Florida:
Using Miami Vice costumes, which were the nearest fabric available.
We're not sure what statement they're trying to make by gift-wrapping large chunks of the planet, but Galactus: Devourer of Worlds is probably going to be pleasantly surprised when he gets here.
Related Reading: If you'd like to do something worthwhile that requires NO effort, why not sneeze into your damn sleeve? It'll save lives. Or at least weekends. If you'd like to stick to the low effort side of things, you should look into bounty hunting or martial arts instructing. Neither require much. On more of an art kick today? Check out these horrible masterpieces using the human body.