Let's be honest: Those of us who aren't huge sports fans only watch an event like the Olympics in hopes that something insane will happen. The inspiring underdog story, the crazy misfit who wins by bending the rules -- you know, the shit they make sports movies about.
Fortunately, the Olympics have always been full of this stuff, and consistently prove that you can overcome almost anything if you're determined, insane, or both.
5 A Kidnapped Child Helps the Dutch Win Gold
In 1900, the modern Olympics was only 4 years old and was still trying to prove itself as a legitimate event. So, while they had a lot of the same standard track and field events you're familiar with, the rules were, let's just say, rather lax.
As symbolized by this poster depicting a Greek goddess masturbating with the Eiffel Tower.
For example, you have the shenanigans surrounding the "men's coxed pair" rowing event. Seven teams were from the host country, France, with only the Belgians and the Dutch brave enough to send teams of their own. The Dutch team was hoping to just make it into the semifinals but suffered a setback when they found their coxswain (because "steerer" was not nearly as hilarious to say) had put on too much weight and would slow down the boat. So what do you do when your race is coming up and you're one member short due to obesity? You go grab some stranger off the street, that's what.
No, really -- rather than forfeit, Francois Brandt and Roelof Klein hit the streets of Paris and frantically began searching for someone who A) was not a fat-ass, B) knew how to steer a boat, and C) was Dutch. However, desperation kicked in and they waived the last two requirements, picking a random 12-year-old French boy from the streets of Paris and running with him to their boat.
"Stop screaming, ma'am, we just want to use your boy for some coxswaining."
Amazingly, the kid seemed to know what he was doing, and soon the Dutch team was out-sailing the stunned Frenchmen on their home turf. After a close race, Team Netherlands crossed the finish line first. After medals were given out and a few photos were snapped, the French boy vanished, presumably thrilled he just got paid a gold foil wrapped chocolate for playing pirates with some weird foreigners all day.
And because the Olympic committee back then didn't care about what constituted a national team, or what minimum age requirements were, or anything else, they called it a legitimate victory by a mixed-nation team. To this day, three names appear as the victors: Brandt, Klein, and Unknown cox.