The 40 Best Cracked Articles and Videos of 2013

2013 was a historically bad year for Congress and health care websites, but it was Cracked's best year ever, and these 25 articles were so popular, they made all that political crap not matter.

#25. 6 Ridiculous Sex Myths You Probably Believe

You'd think that by now we as a species would have pretty much figured out sex, what with Hollywood and the Internet constantly pumping us full of messages on the subject -- and we all know that if there are two things that can be universally trusted, those two things are Hollywood and the Internet. But as we've shown you before, your sexpertise may not be all it's engorged to be, which is why you still believe ridiculous things like ...

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#24. 5 Ridiculous Lies You Believe About Ancient Civilizations

Since not all of us decided to tell our parents we'd be moving back home in four years by majoring in classics, much of what we know about ancient Greece and Rome tends to come from films and TV -- meaning that much of what we "know" originated with some Hollywood producer saying, "Yes, but can we make the togas sexier?"

For example, you probably think that ...

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#23. 6 Ridiculous Myths About the Middle Ages Everyone Believes

When you think of the Middle Ages, chances are you picture gallant knights sitting astride brilliant destriers galloping through a sea of plagues, ignorance, and filth. And you can hardly be blamed for that, when everything from the movies you watch to your high school history teacher (who was mainly the football coach) has told you that ...

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#22. 6 Insane Sex Myths People Used to Teach as Facts

Considering how obsessed people are with their junk, it is amazing how long it took humanity to finally figure out what it was all used for. The clitoris wasn't fully mapped until 2005, which you may recognize as being about 160 years after the general layout of the solar system had been mapped. To be fair, at least we don't treat the clitoris like a campfire ghost story, or set people on fire for having an extra nipple, or assure women that the cause for all of their ailments was a powerful need to masturbate. If you'd been born in a different time, you'd have been 100 percent invested in all three of those ideas, plus a handful of other wacky beliefs about the human underwear zone.

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#21. 5 Great Movies With Mind-Blowing Symbolism You Didn't Notice

Most of the time, it's pretty easy to tell what a movie is about: Lincoln is about Lincoln. The Hangover is about some dudes who get a hangover. Tree of Life is about ... you know, things. However, sometimes a movie you've seen a million times will convince you it's about something very simple when in fact there was a hidden meaning all along that the director intentionally put there, but for some reason didn't want you to find. For instance ...

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#20. 5 Mind-Blowing Facts Nobody Told You About Guns

After every mass shooting, the gun debate splits into two camps: One side says it easily could have been avoided if these maniacs weren't allowed to have guns; the other says it easily could have been avoided if each innocent victim had only gone through their daily lives in cover formation, armed like the space marines entering the giant murder womb in Aliens.

And that's pretty much the entire gun control debate, as far as the mainstream media are willing to cover. And that is a shame, because it leaves out all of the most interesting parts. Trust us, the longer you look into this, the weirder it gets. For instance ...

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#19. A 30-Second Guide to How the Gay Marriage Ruling Affects You

In case you missed it, or just saw people screaming about it on Facebook, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the federal government will now recognize gay marriages as legitimate (specifically, that the Defense of Marriage Act that had been preventing it was unconstitutional). BUT individual states are still free to pass their own laws.

Millions of people, most of whom are neither gay nor looking to get same-sex married, are loudly asking on the Internet how exactly this case impacts their life.

For them we have provided a handy guide:

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#18. 5 Beloved Celebrities Everyone Forgets Did Terrible Things

The strange thing about celebrity scandals like the recent Paula Deen racism controversy is how inconsistent we are with our outrage. We forever remember Michael Richards for screaming racial slurs, and Charlie Sheen will always be a punchline, but the vast majority of the world has forgotten that ...

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#17. 5 Classic Pop Culture Moments Actors Made Up on the Fly

We have nothing against writers (much of this very website is written by them), but we can't pretend that every iconic TV and movie character or moment is carefully crafted by expert scribes hunched over a desk. Often the writer comes up with only a vague idea (or a specific yet terrible one) and the actor has to think up something better on the spot. In fact, some of the most iconic scenes of all time come about this way ...

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#16. 5 Pleasant Surprises About Famous People You Had All Wrong

We love celebrity culture for the same reason we love watching people fall down on YouTube: We like seeing dumb people screw up and make public asses of themselves. But if we stop laughing at them long enough, we'll occasionally find that celebrities are people too, and sometimes they'll surprise us by actually being way less awful than we'd suspect. For example ...

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#15. 6 Movie Characters You Didn't Know Died Horrible Deaths

For the past century, cinema has delighted us with thousands of the most creative ways to die, like being simultaneously impaled through the gut and electrocuted, getting rocketed into a warehouse full of deadly fireworks, or being hit by a car and torn apart by the engine of an exploding jet, to name a few examples from Disney movies.

But for every graphic movie death that graces our screens in glorious Technicolor, there's an even more gruesome one that happens just outside of frame. Like ...

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#14. 6 Ridiculous Myths You Believe About Stuff You Use Every Day

Every so often, some company really will admit that it made a terrible, terrible mistake and that one of its products causes cancer or zombies. So in a world full of recalls and class-action lawsuits, it's only natural to be wary of the health scares that show up in your email inbox. The problem is that some of the most well-known product hazards are pure bullshit.

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#13. 6 Freaky Things Your Body Does (Explained by Science)

The human body is a strange and mysterious place filled with gross guts and gurgling magic potions. There are all sorts of confusing or nonsensical processes our own bodies perform that we just shrugged off and accepted way back in childhood. Fortunately, good ol' science is finally here to explain things like ...

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