#2. Bus Companies Fix Dangerous Vehicles (by Repainting Them)
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Curbside buses are up to seven times more likely to be involved in fatal accidents than those of standard commercial carriers. Not to worry, though -- regulators are quick to shut those deathtraps down. And keep them that way ... until they get a new coat of paint. In which case, back to the road with you, jalopy! The people have to get where they're going, and if they loved their intact organs so much, they'd buy a Mercedes.
And if they're so hungry, why don't they just eat something?
It's estimated that close to 10 percent of buses have failed safety inspections, then been secretly camouflaged and put back on the road, in some cases even after they've already been involved in deadly accidents. That's not just unsafe mechanically, that's unsafe spiritually. We've seen Ghost Dad, we know all about the close association between restless spirits and public transport, thank you.
That's not the only way unsafe public vehicles get back on the road: The criminally ambitious owner of New York Party Shuttle (because nothing says "party" like cracked vertebrae!) invented whole new ways to flip safety regulations the flying, backhanded double bird. He designated his vehicles as tour buses (which are unregulated), used a third party to sell tickets online, and rebranded his company as a travel agency -- all to keep from having to comply with safety inspectors. Hey, you know what they say: You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.
New York Party Shuttle
And you can't keep a travel agency in business these days without some shady-ass dealings.
You're the egg in that idiom.
#1. The Industrialized World "Donates" Shit-Tons of E-Waste to Poor Countries
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As Americans, we each possess the inalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of the latest iPhone. But last year's model is 1/16th of an inch thicker than the new one, so clearly it's garbage and it's time to send it off to the recycling center. Hey, you do your part. You always recycle. You're not a monster.
Aaaand now you've had a hand in poisoning a Third World country.
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All without lifting a finger.
Until very recently, the standard operating procedure for many Western recycling companies was to ship e-waste off to developing countries, which was up to 10 times cheaper than processing the various toxic materials found in electronics the proper way. But why would Third World nations want to take on all of our discarded gadgets in the first place? Simple: To you, a two-year-old phone is an ironic paperweight, but it's state-of-the-art to someone whose previous form of communication was yelling really loudly. So the trick to offloading e-garbage is to take a few desirable working items, like phones or desktops, then shove them deep into a junk pile of goods you know for a fact are broken. You label the whole shebang as a "donation," and boom: They're shipped off to the exotic land of Notyourproblemistan.
How bad is it? In 2006, it was estimated that as much as 75 percent of the electronics shipped to one major hub in Nigeria were useless junk. Even India, which passed laws specifically forbidding the importation of e-waste, is buried in up to 50,000 tons of e-waste every year. So why on Earth are you still recycling? Are you trying to make Captain Planet cry?
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And if you do that, you know you'll be the one who ends up with "Heart."
A.C. Grimes is a raving Cracked fiend who enjoys writing. Feel free to check out his various observations and whacky compositions here.
Related Reading: Speaking of shifty organizations, Biology Online called some woman an urban whore for not writing free stuff for them. Some legitimate organizations even act like mob guys, including drug rehab clinics who invent patients to make tax dollars. A few great organizations have a reputation for evil they don't deserve. Like insane asylums.