4The Peacock Spider Won't Be Getting Laid at the Club Tonight
The peacock spider is a type of jumping spider with a flair for the dramatic. Most of the time, the male of the species simply looks like a somewhat more brightly colored version of a regular spider (the one above looks like it was designed by Edvard Munch). However, when a female is around, these tragically unhip Casanovas prop up the flaps on the upper side of their abdomens and start moving their legs around like maniacs, furiously signaling their desperation to get laid. Sing along: It's fun to stay at the ...
"Y-M-C-" *hesitant, awkward bob*
The mundane-looking females carefully study the colors during the male's courtship displays to choose which male is the healthiest to mate with. How do the males show the females that they're the best choice to get down and dirty with? By dancing their goddamned faces off:
Technically they dance their asses off, but their asses look like faces.
The courtship ritual of the peacock spider is a majestic spectacle of nature that- Hold up, is that spider twerking?
Why? They're otherwise so naturally beautiful.
That goddamn spider is twerking. OK, which Pick-Up Artist message board said this was a good idea? Look at yourself, dude. Look at your life.
At this point, it will surprise no knowledgeable animal lover that these ridiculous dance-machines can be found jumping around nowhere else but Australia. Oh, and perhaps the most ridiculous part of all is that they are also absurdly tiny, only growing to about 5 millimeters.
It's not the size of the boat, it's the spider that's a grinder.
3The Purple Squirrel Is Exactly What It Sounds Like
In business, a "purple squirrel" is the mythical perfect candidate for a job who only comes along once in a blue moon. In nature, it's nothing, because it doesn't exist. Or isn't supposed to. But in 2012, a couple in Pennsylvania found a purple squirrel in their backyard, looking like a plush animal brought to life by some kid's magical Christmas wish and then promptly abandoned.
The easily distracted kid had moved on to something else. Maybe another squirrel.
After taking enough photographic evidence of the unusual specimen to turn it into an Internet meme, the couple released the squirrel back into the wild. Experts offered a ton of scientific theories to explain the animal's coloration, from "It fell into a cartridge of ink" to "Maybe it ate something, I dunno."
"But Cracked," you're probably saying, "that's ignoring the most plausible scenario, which is that this is probably just some stupid prank! So why give these squirrel-painting attention-seekers any publicity?" Well, if it's a prank, it's fairly widespread -- there was another sighting in Minnesota in 1997, and yet another in the U.K. in 2008. The latter was dubbed "Pete the Purple Squirrel," because "Pete" starts with a "P," we guess. Really? How could you not name it "Prince"?
Solent News and Photo Agency
They're even about the same height.
This time, pretty much the same rigorous explanations were offered, along with others like "We guess it could be a prank" and "Hey, maybe it fell into a Porta Potty." Look, if multiple people are trapping squirrels just to paint them so they make headlines, that's actually weirder. And would that also account for this frog?
Sathyabhama Das Biju
Good lord. It's a frog with a nose!
That's a creature that scientists unimaginatively named "purple frog." These ancient little guys (as in, they were kicking it with the dinosaurs literal ages ago) were only discovered in 2003, because they spend most of their life underground and before that people always just mistook them for prunes.