Despite what the media would have you believe, most of us do in fact know that Grand Theft Auto is just make-believe. You don't commit outlandish crimes in plain view and then brazenly escape the cops. In the real world, crooks get caught unless they hole up somewhere and disappear.
Well, most of the time. Here are some guys whose stories would have gotten cut from a GTA campaign for being too over-the-top.
7Crazy "Lazie" Lynch Escapes Jail, Publicly Mocks Police
When Craig "Lazie" Lynch escaped from custody in Suffolk, England, after being arrested for burglary, one of the first things he did after getting to a place with Internet access was log on to Facebook. He then figured, "Hey, I may as well screw with my former jailers while I'm at it."
Unfortunately all his shirts were recaptured by police.
So he began posting pictures of himself with middle fingers raised to the cops. When he made it to Christmas without being caught, he posted: "Yes! Yes! I fuckin made it to Xmas. I beat their fuckin system and I love it!"
But he didn't stop there. He continued posting Facebook taunts to the police. For months.
Including this picture, accompanied by the heavily London-accented words, "If any of you was doubtin my freedom. Here's proof. How the FUCK could i get my hands on a bird like this in jail. Ha ha."
You're gonna get garland all over your freedom bird, dude.
And this picture:
We're not sure "pull my finger" jokes really translate to Facebook.
And this picture:
Lost kittens, yard sales, dangerous wanted men ... the poster board sign knows how to get the job done.
This went on for more than four months, interspersed with several interviews with news stations that Lazie Lynch conducted by phone for the hell of it. By the time authorities eventually caught up to and nabbed Lynch, he had nearly 40,000 Facebook friends, a YouTube song in his honor, and T-shirts bearing his image, so it was obviously worth it, because that's seriously a lot of Facebook friends.