4 Dogs Can't Sweat (or They Sweat Through Their Tongues)
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Dogs pant because they can't sweat. Weird, right? For some insane reason, nature saw fit to give man's best friend precisely zero sweat glands throughout their bodies and instead doomed them to flop their fleshy food scooper at the world whenever they need to cool off. Alternatively, you may have heard that dogs do sweat, but only through their tongues ...
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And they clean the sweat off using the Coriolis effect.
... which you might recognize as a stupid and roundabout way to say "drooling." It's true, of course, that dogs pant because it helps them cool down when they're hot -- but that doesn't mean their tongue is a giant sweat gland. Nope, all that liquid you disgustedly wipe from your ankle on a hot summer day is good ol' spit. If you see a dog with a damp nose, there's about an equal chance between that dampness being sweat and toilet water. Turns out sweat is most readily visible on a dog's sniffer or on its foot pads, because on most dogs, those are the only places not covered by fur.
Rick, on the other hand, gets damp all over.
But don't take our word for it ... ask science. Way back in 1835, after humanity had invented boredom but before we'd perfected basic fucking empathy, some crazy scientists decided to see if dogs sweat by shaving them, strapping them to a board, applying heat pads to their bodies, and injecting them with freaking adrenaline just for good measure. And it turns out that both the heat pads and the panic juice made the dogs sweat from all over their body. Interesting information, to be sure, and we hope it gives you solace in hell, 19th century scientists.
So if dogs are in fact peppered with sweat glands, why the myth that they're unable to sweat? Probably because they don't sweat for the same reason you do. Only the sweat glands on their noses and foot pads are to help them cool off -- the rest are mainly to help them maintain their savory doggy stench.
So those scientists just got a bunch of dog stink for their troubles. Ha!
And while we're on the subject of long-held zoological misconceptions ...
(Albert Einstein had affairs with at least TEN different women. Buy our De-Textbook for more stories of pimp-ass scientists.)
3 Bats Are Blind
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The ubiquitous old saying "blind as a bat" is probably a bit of an exaggeration, but it at least has its basis in fact. After all, as both creatures of the night and everyone's favorite antihero, bats really don't have much of a need for the eyeballs that Mother Nature bestowed, preferring to instead rely on their sense of echolocation and justice, respectively.
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Kind of like dolphins, except dolphins don't give a shit about justice.
Bats' eyeballs are more functional than decorative. According to Merlin Tuttle of Bat Conservation International, "There are no blind bats. They see extremely well." Yes, you read that right: Barring the occasional tragic affliction, there is no such thing as a blind bat.
Even the ones with cataracts just opt for surgery.
In fact, bats' retinas have not only an abundance of rods (a prerequisite for night vision), but also two types of cones: the run-of-the-mill variety that serves them well in daylight conditions, and a second, UV-sensitive type that gives them freaking Predator vision. Even the widespread assumption that bats depend exclusively on their sonar is flawed when you consider the fact that of the two types of bats -- fruit bats (the kind that feed on flowers and, um, fruit) and microbats (the kind that occupy a space in your nightmares completely disproportionate to their size) -- only one of them uses echolocation. When your prey is less the "fluttering through the darkness" variety and more the "hanging stationary from a branch" one, sonar just isn't all it's cracked up to be. No, for bats that feed on fruit or nectar, UV vision is the mutant superpower to have, considering that many flowers reflect ultraviolet light.
Hey, look at that! Science may have finally given us an explanation for Pink Batman.