Some people have such incredible bad luck that it goes sailing headfirst past tragedy and lands face down in a heaping plateful of amazement. We're not saying that what happened to these people was good, or deserved, or anything short of terrible. We're just saying that, if you were looking for evidence that gypsy curses might be real, look no further than ...
5 Rolando Trinidad Gets Shot in the Middle of a Motorcycle Accident
We've mentioned it once before, but you should know that owning a motorcycle means running the risk of everything from deadly vehicular accidents to eyeballs covered in spiders. Still, while one might reasonably expect to crash, get attacked by bees, get run down by inattentive texters, and become absolutely besieged by attractive members of the opposite sex (shh! Let us have our delusion), you can never be fully prepared for the Grim Reaper's hat trick.
Not spontaneous combustion. That's just expected.
Just ask Rolando Trinidad: He was roaring down the highway one night when he swerved to avoid a dog crossing the road and lost control of his motorcycle. That's bad enough luck all on its own, but much like a news anchor street fight, things escalated quickly. First, the pistol in his waistband (side note: Who was the first guy to decide that "the area immediately above my genitals" was the only natural place to store a deadly weapon?) went off, shooting him through the groin. The bullet entered "near his testicles and exited at his right buttock." So within a matter of seconds, we have a serious accident and a gunshot wound. Ouch.
But wait, there's more! Act now, and we'll throw in a free heart attack!
That's right: The shock and stress on Trinidad's body from the back-to-back motorcycle crash and bullet wound immediately triggered a serious cardiac episode.
He didn't tell doctors about the heart attack. He just yelled "Save the BALLS."
So not only an accident, but a motorcycle accident. Not only a gunshot wound, but a gunshot wound to the groin. And then a heart attack, like the deadly cherry atop a disastrous sundae. Miraculously, Trinidad was brought to the Eastern Bicol Medical Center and came out with his life.
At which point the authorities examining the scene of the accident noticed that his gun was likely illegal and unregistered.
And that's why you don't bang fate's girlfriend, buddy.