While friends, family, and other disappointingly human beings often behave with infuriating unpredictability, we demand better from our beloved TV characters. We demand consistency: all of reality resets every 30 minutes, kids stay young forever -- hell, the animated ones aren't even allowed to change their outfit without an uproar. But every once in a while, some coked-up screenwriter gets clearance to step outside the box and delivers a scarring, surrealistic meltdown of our favorite fictional universes.
6Denny's Turns Miss Piggy into a Cannibal
What better way to advertise the wholesome, all-American eatery that is Denny's than by featuring the nation's most well-regarded carpet swatches, the Muppets? What could possibly go wrong with featuring a lovable, sassy pig-puppet sitting down to a nice balanced breakfast of eggs, hash browns, and ba-
Oh God. They didn't?
It's worse than it looks. Those sausage links are from Gonzo.
After sitting down for a breakfast that easily could have consisted of french toast, or an omelet, or basically anything but pork products, Denny's patrons Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog place their order ...
... and Miss Piggy orders three Grand Slam breakfasts.
Get it, because she's a pig?
And a gluttonous cannibal?
Is this Muppet Soylent Green? We're not sure if it's more or less disturbing that it's implied that Kermit, too, is ordering the same Grand Slam. It's one thing to devour your own kind. It's quite another to look the love of your life in the eye while you eat her sister.
"Yes, extra bacon. And make sure it doesn't talk so goddamn much."