#2. The Star of The Sound of Music Called It "The Sound of Mucus"
Fifty years and over a hundred film roles later, Christopher Plummer is still best known for his role as the strict-but-loving Captain von Trapp in The Sound of Music. This movie has it all: singing, dancing, and fighting Nazis (the magic formula). More importantly, it made and continues to make obscene amounts of money, and it catapulted Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer into instant and perpetual Hollywood stardom.
So everyone likes this damn film, but one person who wasn't so in love with the movie is Christopher Plummer himself. Plummer had mixed feelings from the get-go: He wanted to do a musical, and The Sound of Music sure as hell counts, but he thought Captain von Trapp was a giant bore. He was frustrated by the limitations of playing such a humorless character, asserting that trying to make him interesting was "like flogging a dead horse" -- actually, playing the horse probably would have been more exciting.
"Quit involving me in your personal shit, Chris."
For a long time, Plummer's contempt for the character festered and spread to the rest of the movie like an infection -- he called it "awful and sentimental and gooey." Plummer refers to it simply as "that movie," but sometimes he gets creative with it, getting all that suppressed humor out with nicknames such as "The Sound of Mucus" and "S&M."
20th Century Fox
If you weren't already picturing Captain von Trapp in a leather catsuit, you're welcome.
It was only years later that Plummer even bothered to watch the film (because he was forced to) and decided it was actually pretty good ... except for that insipid captain guy. It took 45 years and Oprah Winfrey to persuade Plummer to attend his first cast reunion in 2010, and even then he spent half the time slagging off his own character, saying it wasn't "human enough" and "sucked massive, sweaty donkey balls" (that part was edited out). Presumably he would have preferred it if Captain von Trapp had been the one spinning on the Alps in the intro, not Julie Andrews. Hey, maybe they can do that in the inevitable gritty remake with Michael Fassbender as the captain.
#1. Robert Pattinson Hates Twilight More Than You
This has to be the first time in history that a list including Brando and Connery has Twilight's Robert Pattinson at #1, but the man's open contempt for the part that made him famous is so hilarious that he couldn't have been at any other spot.
Pattinson started out as wizard boy #17 in the Harry Potter movies and would have probably gone on to have the same stellar career as every other minor Potter actor if he hadn't landed the role of sparkly vampire Edward Cullen in Twilight. However, even way back in 2008, Pattinson made zero effort to hide his opinion of the character in an interview with Empire magazine, poking fun at him for being a century-old virgin:
"I got calluses on every inch of my palms for added realism."
And that was before he had to play the guy for four years. Apparently not realizing that there's no faster route to heartthrob status than pretending to be a moody asshole, he later complained that he wanted to strangle whoever came up with fan nickname "R-Patz" (he prefers the more dignified "Robz-P"). As for the secrets of his brooding performance, besides playing him as "a manic-depressive who hates himself," Pattinson also admitted that the trick to portraying Edward is just looking "slightly constipated and stoned."
Implying that every high school science teacher is an immortal vampire.
Oh, but he was just getting started. Someone helpfully put together this compilation of the various press junkets during which Pattinson hilariously trashed the movies he was supposed to be promoting. Our favorite moments include the quote "When I read it, it seemed like a book that wasn't supposed to be published," the part where he says Edward is creepy in a serial killer kind of way, and the part where he says Twilight author Stephenie Meyer is even creepier because she's clearly in love with the character. Regarding Bella and Edward's relationship, he says, "There's definitely something wrong with her, and there's very obviously something wrong with me."
If you can't watch the video, this face sums it up perfectly.
Considering that the movie also spawned his doomed relationship with co-star Kristen Stewart, we can understand why Pattinson would be pissed that sparkling in the sun is probably what he's going to be most remembered for.
Cracked hopes our actors are remembered for this incredible Star Wars mini series we made. And NOTHING ELSE.
You can read more from Amanda on Mannafesto, or follow her on Twitter if you like terrible poop jokes at three in the morning. Menezes broke down and set up a Twitter page. His current whereabouts are unknown.
Related Reading: Speaking of Brando, read this article about the awful final movies of great actors. If you need more positive stories right now, why not read about the time Quentin Tarantino strangled an actress to the point of unconsciousness? Oh, we guess that isn't very positive. Here, cleanse your brain pallet with actors you didn't recognize in famous roles.