If you want to terrify yourself, go into your medicine cabinet and read all of the really weird side effects at the bottom of the label. Beyond the normal "headache" or "upset stomach," you get weird shit that reads like ironic punishments from a vengeful genie.
Sure, most users won't see this kind of black magic side effects, but that just means you're all the more surprised when you run into ...
5The Flu Medication That Can Cause Psychosis
Tamiflu is a wildly popular treatment for the flu, frequently prescribed for parents to pump their children full of at the first sign of a sniffle. Which is about to get a bit terrifying, since Tamiflu ...
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The Side Effect:
... can send you on a bad trip reminiscent of a ridiculous old-school anti-marijuana PSA. That's seriously the best way we can think of to accurately summarize the symptoms, which range from hallucinations to psychosis to impulsive behavior. Kids taking it have tried to dive out of the windows of moving cars. Dr. Lawrence G. Roberts, aka "the creator of the freaking Internet," blacked out and introduced a tree to the inner workings of his BMW after taking it, while other adults have just gone whole hog and committed suicide.
But instead of slamming that shit to bits with the ban hammer, the FDA has sort of gone in the exact opposite direction, approving Tamiflu for use with newborns and infants. Which we guess actually makes a twisted kind of sense -- being skin sacks full of Jell-O, infants literally can't chase the pretty colors, so running out into traffic isn't really a concern. Also, they lack the fine motor skills to properly operate a handgun.
"Don't make me take my hat off, old man. You know what happens when I'm on the wacky meds."
But the benefits are probably worth the possible side effects, right? After all, the flu is a really nasty, even potentially fatal virus that's implicated in thousands of deaths every year. So if Tamiflu can save people, maybe it's worth the risks. After all, a big-time medication like this wouldn't even be on the shelves if it hadn't been proven effective in numerous peer-reviewed double-blind scientific studies that -- wait, it hasn't? It doesn't seem to have any effect on the flu? Tamiflu, like most other flu medications, doesn't do anything (except maybe trigger a pseudo PCP freakout)?
Aaaaand, several of you are right now trying to think of how you can get your hands on some. Don't say we didn't warn you.
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Tamiflu: keeping you at the intersection of sickness and style.