4 Using Laser Sights on a Sniper Rifle
What Hollywood Has Told You:
Thanks to movies, the universal sign for "someone's about to get their head blown off" is making a red dot show up in that person's forehead -- as soon as you see that, you instantly know that there's a professional sniper pointing some sort of kickass rifle at them. For instance, in The Dark Knight, Gotham City's badass SWAT snipers all have laser sights as they point at the Joker's henchmen (actually disguised hostages) from another building.
Admit it, you just assumed there was some dick with a laser pointer in the theater the first time you saw this.
So when you think about it, being a sniper is actually a super easy job: You just have to know how to sit tight, position a red spot, and pull a trigger. Shit, it sounds way cooler than being a Batman.
Why This Sucks:
First there's the obvious: If you do this, you'll be shining a visible dot onto the forehead of person you need to kill, and all it would take to blow your super-secret covert mission would be for someone to tell the target to just, you know, duck. The whole point of a sniper is that they're not supposed to see you coming.
Sure, assassinating people at raves would work, but some day you might want to kill somebody who's older than 16.
Also, even if you somehow cap the bad guy, that laser sight has just ensured that everyone knows where you're hiding. Laser sights only work well in low-light conditions; if it's too bright, the shooter won't be able to see the dot. However, this also means that it's quite easy to follow the laser beam from the dot all the way back to the shooter. In other words, that beam is going to prove a handy way for all the pissed-off goons of the guy you just shot to find your ass. This is something that the movies forget to portray a lot, probably because it's quite a buzzkill to witness a hero pull off a near-impossible sniper kill and then, seconds later, be blown apart by the revenge artillery and gunfire that goes to rake their position. And even worse is the fact that the laser isn't actually going to tell you where the bullet will land. As we've covered, sniper bullets tend to fly in every direction but straight -- wind and gravity have that effect on a physical object, but not a beam of light.
Most real snipers use a spotter, aka "a second body to absorb return fire."
So laser sights are fine for handguns, when you're in the same room with your target and are just such a terrible shot that you don't have the confidence to just aim the thing the normal way. Just keep in mind that your enemies might make fun of you, though.
3 Trying to Kick Ass in a Suit and Tie
What Hollywood Has Told You:
No assassin, spy or henchman can be serious about their craft unless they're wearing a sharply pressed suit and a tie. Look at Jason Statham in The Transporter. Tom Cruise in Collateral. Ninety percent of the characters in Tarantino's movies. James. Fucking. Bond.
This man does not look impressive in track pants and a U Miss sweater.
By the way, there's an entire website dedicated to the suits of James Bond. That's how boss a suit makes you look: People are perfectly willing to painstakingly watch their way through clips of Bond's wang in motion to decide which suit pants he's wearing.
Why This Sucks:
For looking good, a suit is undeniably the best thing to wear. For fighting people, not so much. This is mainly because wearing a suit gives you a giant hanging weak point around your neck more suited to a Gradius-level boss than an action hero: your tie.
Can you gamers spot the weak point?
Neckties are such a liability in combat that most law enforcement agencies around the globe refuse to use them in lieu of clip-ons. Sure, James Bond would mock their lack of style, but they'd presumably just grab Bond's tie and smash his face with their fist until he pissed martinis. Basically, anything in a fight that your opponent can grab onto is a liability, but moreso if that thing gives them the ability to yank your head around. We'll let Jackie Chan give you a visual explanation of why:
But even if your opponent isn't a trained martial artist, having a piece of cloth attached to your throat that anyone can twist around and choke you with is still a terrible idea. How about just a shirt and pants combo with a nice waistcoat, then? Nope, you're still going to be at a disadvantage, simply because you won't be able to throw a punch or kick as fast as the other guy. As anyone who has worn a suit will tell you, doing the splits in one of those things is only going to end with you looking like you have a chainsaw for a dick.
The same goes for you ladies. Like with neckties, long hair is a surefire way to give opponents something to grab onto in a fight ... only instead of being wrapped around your neck, your weak point is attached to your fucking skull. What's the point in wearing a skintight suit if you have an easily exploited weakness on the part of your body that controls motor function?
Well, maybe we could overlook the impracticality just this once.