3 The Horned Samurai
Honda Heihachiro Tadakatsu was a legendary samurai also known as "the warrior who surpasses death itself." The nickname is a bit unwieldy -- it's no "star-cougar," or even "the meat-snake" -- but in terms of content, it does sound pretty damn tough. And Honda Tadakatsu absolutely deserved it.
Despite participating in many battles throughout his life, Honda never sustained even a single significant injury. And he wasn't one of those "sit back in my tent and play Go while the real warriors duke it out" generals. He was right there on the frontlines, fighting, all while wearing an enormous, instantly recognizable kill-me sign.
The top-heavy antler helmet was offset by the weight of his massive balls.
This armor was not ceremonial: Honda Tadakatsu went into battle in a helmet with a massive set of deer antlers on it. If the opposing samurai army was a boss fight, Honda would be its ostentatious, bright-red, blinking weak point. Attack here to defeat.
And not one single significant injury.
Old-school samurai weren't exactly gentle pansies wafting in the breeze. They didn't generally panic and flee when they saw Honda the man-deer charging at them. In fact, his reputation was so great that most samurai would target Honda specifically, just for the chance at the glory of being the first one to lay a finger on him. Legend has it that he first started to wear the deer antlers after one of the animals saved his life -- it supposedly showed him a route to safety after he was ambushed by enemies. But man, if we survived a few dozen battles without a scratch, we might be get bored of life on its default setting, too.
"OK, what if I paint a bull's-eye on my chest? Will that be fair?"
Honda just turned the difficulty up to "expert" and waded back in.
2 The Dandy Landsknecht
The landsknecht were German mercenaries in the 15th century who came to do two things: kick your ass and raid your closet.
The landsknecht didn't have an established uniform per se, but as long as you were wearing a garish slurry of colors that ensured that you stood right the hell out on the battlefield, you were good. As mercenaries, part of their payment plan consisted of picking whatever spoils they pleased from their successful battles. And so they would habitually snag clothes from their fallen opponents and add it to whatever they were wearing. Kind of like a thrift store, only with murder instead of donation. The landsknecht adopted a "puff and slash" style: They would slit the outer garments open, then pull wads of their undergarments through those cuts. This led to their unique, Michelin-man-in-lingerie fashion.
Strangely, they were staunchly anti-fur.
The landsknecht would often wear large flat hats, usually decorated with ostrich feathers. To cap off the look, of course, they also donned codpieces so ridiculously large that they were thought obscene. They did this because ... well, wouldn't you?
"If I turn sideways, it doubles as a sundial."
If you're wondering why nobody was attempting to censor these psychotic underwear clowns running about with giant fake armored cocks ... first, reread that last sentence. Second, take a look at their enormous swords. And finally, nobody raised much of a fuss because the landsknecht were immune to all wardrobe laws. Maximilian I expressly allowed them an exemption. His reasoning was that the ridiculous outfits were likely the only luxury that the landsknecht had in their short, miserable lives. Although Max, too, probably didn't want his head bashed in by what looks to be some sort of rifle-ax.
It fires honey badgers.