It doesn't matter how good the graphics get or how many screens, touch pads, and penis holes they add to the controllers: Video games will always have glitches, and we'll always think that some of them are hilarious. We hope that some day we can make a mistake that will bring a stranger as much joy as these six glitches brought us ...
6Assassin's Creed III: Connor Kenway, Compulsive Masturbator
One of the glossed-over parts of the Assassin's Creed series is that, since the present-time main character, Desmond Miles, is living out his ancestors' experiences through a big sci-fi machine, it means he has to see everything. Even their very public "displays of affection."
You see, there's a disturbingly common glitch (as in it's happened to more than one person) where it seems that Connor Kenway, Desmond's great-great-something-or-another, is apparently overtaken by the stresses of being an assassin in Colonial America and just starts jacking it wherever he may be. Like by the river:
Via Anton Procter
"They'll never see me coming."
Or with friends:
"'Become a cop,' they told me. 'It'll be an exciting way to serve your community,' they said."
So, y'know, imagine finding out that your bold, brave ancestor was also a chronic public masturbator and being unable to do anything about it. Also note that this was not the first time in his family line that Desmond encountered such perversions. Yeah, we're not sure how these guys had ancestors in the first place.
The weirdest, or most awesome, thing about this glitch is that the animation isn't just an "if you look at it a certain way" kind of thing. No, it's almost disturbingly real, and it gets kind of uncomfortable to watch after a few seconds. Like someone put it there on purpose, perhaps to make Connor more relatable to the average gamer.