6 Insane Houses You Won't Believe People Actually Live In

#3. The House in a Cemetery

Photodisc/Photodisc/Getty Images

When Jayne Stead and Mike Blatchford of Southampton England stumbled upon a quaint 19th century building, they just knew they had to move in and make the place their very own. So what if it's in the middle of a cemetery?

Via Solent News and Photo Agency
"Where are you kids going with that shovel?!"

And we don't mean it's "next door to a cemetery" or "there is a cemetery in their yard." We mean the place where the couple and their kids sleep used to be a mortuary and graveyard keeper's lodge. But despite the 100 percent chance of a nasty haunting, Stead and Blatchford decided it was the perfect place to raise a family, if only to remind the children that they're all going to be dead one day.

Via Solent News and Photo Agency
The upside is that the procession won't take long.

Of course, the conversion required a little improvisation, but it was nothing that Blatchford, a builder by trade, couldn't tackle once he set his mind to it. So first they fixed up the old mortuary (you know, where the corpses were laid out) into a dining room ...

Via Solent News and Photo Agency

... and made the Victorian-era toilets into the kitchen.

Via Solent News and Photo Agency
Ugh, that's ... actually ... really, really nice-looking.

All told, the family spent upwards of 100,000 pounds over the course of a year on the property to make it into a home that looks nothing like the kind of Addams Family-style gothic hovel you would expect a converted graveyard house to look like. Apparently, the only real pain in the ass is cleaning the ceilings of a living room that are as high as a church, because it used to be one.

Via Solent News and Photo Agency
Sometimes, they mock God, just for the fun of it.

While local kids tend to be too chicken shit to trick-or-treat there, Stead and Blatchford will get into the spirit and throw what have to be at least sorta interesting Halloween parties. The upside is that, since all their neighbors are subterranean piles of dust, they can be pretty much as loud as they want.

#2. The House Made of Old Newspaper

Hemera Technologies/AbleStock.com

In 1922, engineer Elis F. Stenman decided he and the missus needed a summer getaway. Not one to half-ass anything, he decided to do it himself. And because his day job at the time was to design machines that made paper clips, it probably meant he was surrounded by ass tons of paper every day. So he did the only reasonable thing and built a house out of it, because, man, it would just go to waste otherwise.

Via Virtualtourist.com
Dude, there are stones right freakin' there!

Of course, the frame of the house is wood (or it would have collapsed decades ago), but everything else is made of newspaper. Pressed together with a homemade glue (a mixture of water, flour, and apple peels), the material that started out as mere insulation became 1-inch thick panels that made up the walls of the house. That whole mess got a heavy coat of varnish to seal out moisture, and a lot of it is just as readable today, almost a century later.

Via Stuofdoom.com
"Breaking: Scientists Find Newspaper to Be Strongest Substance on Earth!"

And we do mean everything. The tables, chairs, curtains, mantle, and even a piano are all built out of rolled-up wads of newspaper. There's a clock covered in papers from each of the states (except Alaska and Hawaii, because it was the '20s when the USA had only 48 states) and a bookcase made of foreign presses.

Via Wikimedia Commons
If it needs tuned, you have to open the top to the sports section.

They even have a desk made from the reports of Charles Lindbergh's bullshit accomplishment.

Via Tripadvisor.com
A toilet would have been more appropriate, but hindsight is 20/20.

Today the place is taken care of by Stenman's grandniece and open to the public, if you're willing to shell out a buck-fifty to check out the joint. Shit, you pay more for a newspaper that isn't also a house.

#1. The House in an Abandoned Missile Silo


Few of us reminisce fondly of the years when our world came on the brink of nuclear annihilation once every minute. But then there's one couple who prefer to immortalize those troubled times by making their home in a former nuclear missile silo. Subterra Castle, the now defunct former missile base, stands in the shadow of its former Cold War glory.

Via Missilebases.com
Wait, didn't Bugs Bunny once pilot one of those things?

It once housed an E intercontinental missile complete with a 4-megaton warhead that had Stalin's name on it; now people sleep and poop inside of it. So what kind of enterprising individuals dare live in a place like that? Reclusive celebrity billionaires? Megalomaniac super villains?

Via Subterracastle.com

Nope. Meet Edward and Diana Peden, a very nice, hippie-ish couple who have been living here since 1994.

Via Roadside America and Subterra Castle
And no, it's not a sitcom ... though it very well could be.

They've renovated the place and now offer educational tours. They chose this unconventional residence due to several factors: bragging rights, buyer eccentricity, and lastly, because they needed a secluded place to torture a recently kidnapped James Bond.

Via Subterracastle.com
Or at the very least, stave off the White Walkers.

Another reason might be that the property covers 34 acres and is located among the world-famous verdant hills and meadows of Kansas. Though there's a load of property above ground, and all the living spaces are below -- the control rooms and tunnels have been turned into cozy living compartments. The mustache-seeking Stalin-busting ordinance once held here has now been swapped for moderately priced furnishings and the scent of patchouli. This very residence now symbolizes a bright future where we can hopefully trade world-destroying arsenals for peace and friendship.

Via Jim Merithew / Wired.com
Nah, fuck that. Launch that bitch. You know they have one in there.

Richie Ryan has also been known to work the wood. See his things. Failing that he whines a lot. Follow him on Twitter.

Related Reading: For even crazier houses that people actually live in, click here. Try not to smile after seeing the breast houses of Mexico. If you're up for the true stories behind the craziest houses on earth, click that link and behold the scrap wood skyscraper. Also, there's a mobile house named the Wothahellizthat.

Recommended For Your Pleasure

To turn on reply notifications, click here


The Cracked Podcast

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!