5 Pretty Woman -- Edward Abandons Vivian Back to Her Life of Prostitution
In Pretty Woman, ruthless corporate raider Edward pays a hooker named Vivian $3,000 to spend the entire week with him, because apparently that's the only way he can convince women to be around him despite looking like 1980s Richard Gere and commanding a six-figure annual income. He's planning to buy out a fledgling company from a sweet old man so he can liquidate it piecemeal, sort of like Michael Douglas in Wall Street, but his time with Vivian softens his heart, and she is similarly won over by Edward's ability to buy her anything she wants at any given moment.
Love is never having to say "We can't afford that."
At the end of the week, Edward drives to Vivian's apartment in a limousine, gives her a rose, and asks her to have sex with him for free for the foreseeable future. She agrees, they share a romantic kiss, and Roy Orbison sings us into the credits.
The Original Ending
We've previously talked about how Vivian was a drug addict in the original script. But that doesn't even scratch the surface of how dark this story used to be:
Then Edward burns down an orphanage.
Edward does indeed drive up to Vivian's rancid cocaine paddock, but instead of a rose, he leaves her an envelope full of boner cash to cover their week together and gets right back into his car. There's no sweet reconciliation, no heartfelt romantic gesture, and no limousine -- Edward just dumps Vivian's ass back on Hollywood Boulevard and drives out of her life forever, leaving her literally crawling on her hands and knees crying bitter tears into a pile of money.
That ending was just one of a million other desolately bleak things about the film's original screenplay, a cautionary drama about addiction and prostitution called $3,000. However, after it was purchased by Disney, their chairman, Jeffrey Katzenberg, looked at the script and somehow thought the story of a strung-out prostitute and her unscrupulous john would make a perfect romantic comedy. The film was extensively rewritten to force-feed us a spunky Julia Roberts in a feel-good modern fairy tale, which to date is the only R-rated movie about hookers ever filmed that doesn't have any nudity in it.
Believe us. We checked.
4 Terminator Salvation -- John Connor Dies, Is Replaced by a Cyborg
Terminator Salvation tells the story of cyborg kryptonite John Connor leading a war against an army of machinated overlords in a post-apocalyptic future. Partway through, he teams up with a guyborg named Marcus Wright, who used to be human until he was turned into a metal abomination by the nefarious robots, and he is having trouble adjusting. The two end up battling through a prison to rescue a bunch of captive Resistance fighters, but John is badly wounded and needs a new heart, because apparently furious murderbots can piston-fist you in the sternum without killing you instantly.
Knowing that the humans need John Connor in order to continue their fight, Marcus offers his own heart (one of the only parts of his anatomy that are still organic) up for transplant, heroically sacrificing himself so that the Resistance can live on.
"I should tell you my cholesterol is through the roof. I never could get enough chicken wings."
The Original Ending
John and Marcus invade the robo-prison to free their comrades, and once again, John gets horribly wounded. However, in this version, he has absolutely no chance of surviving, robot heart or no. Marcus has been badly damaged, too, and since he will need to be rebuilt, John's wife comes with up a solution:
Hang on, is she saying ...?
"You must become legend, Mr. Connor."
Yep, that's totally what she's saying. The film was supposed to end with the real John Connor getting rolled into an anonymous corpse hole while Marcus gets dolled up in John Connor battle makeup to take his place. He then goes on to lead the Resistance with nobody the wiser, at least until a squadron of robots runs a bioscan on him or until one of his keener-eyed troops notices his sudden boulder-juggling super strength.
Apparently, everyone involved was 100 percent behind this idea, and this was the version that was in production until the ending was leaked out onto the Internet before filming had been completed. The studio was reportedly so enraged at the Internet for doing precisely what it exists to do that they felt the need to dramatically change everything. Thus, a franchise built around the Marcus Wright character (which was their original intention) was completely aborted midway through, and the film was rewritten to keep John alive and sweep Marcus under the rug moments before the end credits. Luckily, the production of Terminator Salvation didn't have any more issues with things getting leaked out all over the Internet.
"Just start bellowing rage curses at the crew and they'll all think you're me."