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5 Diabolical Ways Your Body Tricks You into Being Fat

The Western World is fighting a losing battle against obesity, and it's no surprise: In a choice between exercise and bacon, the smart money in our culture is always on bacon. But it's not just because we're too greedy and lazy to lose our excess lard. There are a multitude of reasons for obesity, up to and including our own bodies actively conspiring against skinniness.

We're not saying that willpower and mental fortitude don't play a role. We're just saying that even if your mind is in the right place, the deck is still stacked against you in a bunch of different ways. For example ...

#5. Going on a Diet Has the Same Effects as Drug Withdrawal

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Let's say you've found the motivation to lose that excess weight, no matter what. Following the diet advice you've heard your entire life, you quit the high-fat foods cold turkey and lay off the video games in favor of gym time. You're full of energy -- you're not going to let anything stop you from being the person you want to be, goddammit!

And then the withdrawal symptoms begin.

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"Come on, man, just one of those vending machine bags of Cheetos to get me through the next few minutes."

How bad are they? Oh, nothing much -- just precisely like weaning yourself off a crippling drug habit.

According to research on mice (whose neurochemical system is comparable to that of humans), you don't even need to be morbidly obese to experience these symptoms -- all you need is to stuff your face with high-fat foods for six weeks or so. Then replace all that junk food with a carefully maintained, healthy diet and you get to live through all the joy and glory of a painful, mentally excruciating rehab period. The test subjects had significantly increased levels of stress hormones and abnormally high amounts of CREB, a protein linked closely to the dopamine reward system (aka the thing in your brain that gets you high). What other things can manipulate these brain levels? Just harmless little substances like cocaine and methamphetamine.

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"Don't worry, it's just crushed-up Halloween candy."

And sure enough, the mice in the study became anxious and annoyed, avoided open spaces, and showed all the signs and symptoms of drug withdrawal just a few days after being deprived of their precious fatty foods.

Although this makes dieting infinitely harder than your average Weight Watchers ad makes it seem, it's not totally impossible. The trick here is to avoid yo-yo dieting, which sends you plummeting into an everlasting downward spiral of dopamined-up binge eating and withdrawal-laced, stressed-out dieting. If you want to quit heroin, you sure as fuck don't give yourself an occasional "cheat" day or week to treat yourself.

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New Year's resolutions were meant to be broken.

#4. Your Superior Sense of Smell Might Also Make You Eat More

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There are few things more appetite-inducing than the smell of freshly baked bread. Conversely, hold your nose while you eat and you'll see just how bland even the most delicious dish can become. The smell of food is a massively important part of the eating experience, as your nose sports a direct line to the Food Control Center of your brain. This is why these days a whole lot of research is being devoted to figuring out why fat people's noses seem to work differently from everyone else's.

Multiple studies have found a link between hunger and sense of smell -- specifically, your nose works better when you're hungry. This would seem to make sense from an evolutionary point of view -- you need your nose when you're hunting or gathering to both find your food and navigate your environment (i.e., knowing when predators are coming). Once you've eaten, your sensitivity to smells in general goes down, but strangely, your sensitivity to food smells goes up.

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"Someone find me an insulin shot. I think I know how to make this smell even better."

And in the obese? Their ability to smell food goes way up after they've eaten.

Scientists have no idea why either of these things happens. It's possible that fat and thin people both smell things better while eating because we need to be able to detect spoiled food and know whether the orange thing we're eating is delicious cheese or a disgusting carrot. But when you crank this ability up to 11, as it is in the obese, all it does is make them want to eat more.

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In this skinny guy's case, it makes him consider rhinoplasty.

And to make it even worse, eating more doesn't necessarily satisfy the craving created by smelling those delicious smoked ribs, because ...

#3. You Might Have Crappy Taste Buds

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Why do some people feel the need to gobble up everything in their line of sight, while others can eat a third of that and yet stay satisfied? Are the moderate eaters just pretending to be happy with their stupidly tiny portions, secretly bursting into tears every time they see a Doritos commercial?

Well, there might be an actual, physical reason, and that reason is all about the mouth: Some of us have crappier taste buds than others. Namely, obese people, and specifically obese children.

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"Shit, I don't even have a tongue."

It appears that fat kids tend to have worse taste buds than their leaner counterparts, and this could be a significant factor as to why they became fat in the first place. The theory is that because of their crappy tasting capacities, it takes more food to experience the same "taste hit" as a person with a normal tongue.

In an effort to verify this, researchers gave both obese and non-obese children different taste strips to lick and identify. These strips were infused with base flavors (sweet, sour, salty, bitter, and savory), and they all had different intensities of taste. Their scores were ranked on a scale of 0 to 20, and the fat kids performed significantly worse than non-obese ones; on average, they only scored 12.6, while others scored a solid average of 14. While the obese children had no problem identifying what a given taste was, they did have trouble identifying its strength level. In other words, they tasted the same things, only not as intensely.

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"Hey, when you're done being a pussy, can I have that pickle?"

Now, this is the sort of thing that might not have mattered back at a stage of evolution when it was really hard to get fat -- there was a time when how much we ate depended on how much we were able to kill/gather/grow. But now that virtually everyone reading this has ready food waiting just a refrigerator away, little physical flaws like this suddenly make it way harder for some of us to know when to stop cramming Hot Pockets into our cheeks.

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