4Buckets of Skyrim
The best and worst parts of Skyrim are the glitches. It's the video game version of that beat-up old car that only starts when the radio is tuned to KSFT -- all soft rock, all the time. Or that one deranged uncle who gives you beer at every family reunion because he thinks you're his old 'Nam buddy. They're utterly broken things, sure, but that's also what makes them kind of awesome. For example: These backwards flying dragons look like they're being sucked into a black hole -- all flapping in terror and trying to escape. Witnessing that happen out of the blue is way better than participating in a perfectly functional, perfectly boring ol' dragon battle.
"You've been hanging out with Puff again, haven't you?"
But for the true connoisseur of random hilarity, there is the pure and beautiful simplicity of the bucket glitch.
Exploiting this curious error makes stealing in Skyrim as easy as taking candy from a baby. A very, very stupid baby. Who is also blind. Simply place a bucket, pot, cauldron, or whatever you have on you over any of the local merchants' heads, and you can stroll into their shops and take whatever you want unimpeded.
"Is it dark o'clock already?"
There are no penalties for the theft. In fact, there's no acknowledgement whatsoever -- even if you're getting your discounts from the counter right in front of them. The best part is it's not a physics glitch or anything -- it doesn't kill or immobilize or otherwise take the characters out of the game. Every single character in Skyrim functions on that famous 5-year-old logic: If you can't see it, you can't get mad.
"This is like that secret game I used to play with Uncle Roger!"
The glitch is so noteworthy it's even warranted its own video tribute. Shit, somebody tell Hollywood; they've been looking pretty desperate for content lately, and Grand Theft Auto: Swing of Doom sounds like a pretty good flick.
3Sonic the Hedgehog '06: Sonic Don't Care
Sonic the Hedgehog is famous for one thing: His physics-defying speed. He's so fast he can run complete loop-de-loops! But in Sonic '06, known in gamer circles as The Day the Hog Stood Still, Sonic shows up to the game a bit hungover, so he's just going to gently walk the loops instead.
"Tequila ... never again."
You know what? Maybe he'll just stop entirely -- still inexplicably upside down -- and just hang out for a little bit. You know: eat a burrito, catch a short nap, and try to rally later.
This game was made seven years ago, and even back then Sonic looked like he was sick of this repetitive shit. He just gave up on life sometime after Shadow The Hedgehog tried to reboot his series in the ass, and now he just phones in grand adventures at breakneck speeds like a middle-aged fast food manager.