3Palm Trees Brew Their Own Wine
Humans have gone to some impressive lengths to convert various liquids into alcohol. It was one of the first things we learned how to do after we started walking upright, and we've been refining the process ever since. But like anything we've invented with these opposable thumbs, there's a science to producing alcohol, which is our reward for reaching the top of the evolutionary ladder.
"Suck my pretentious balls, Darwin."
Then again, you could just get a palm tree. There are several varieties of palm tree native to the tropical parts of the world that double as natural breweries that manufacture wine on demand. You don't even need to do anything but tap the tree. As soon as it is collected, the palm sap immediately begins the process of fermentation and, within an hour or two, will typically have fermented to about 4 percent alcohol content. That's almost as quickly as it would take you to drive to the liquor store to obtain booze that has already been distilled.
While you'd think that booze you just wrung out of a tree would probably taste like ass, "palm wine" apparently has a certain charm that makes it popular from Ghana to India to Mexico. It's extremely cheap to collect, because collecting is really all that's being done. While conventional brewing methods require large facilities, specialized equipment, and plenty of time, all you need to get palm-drunk is a palm tree, a knife, a bucket, and an hour.
Holy crap, woman, go to a meeting.
In fact, probably the only reason you can't find palm wine on the shelf next to the Milwaukee's Best is because it's just too good at fermenting. After only a day or so, it ages into vinegar. Which, admittedly, still beats Milwaukee's Best.
2Polar Bears Employ State-of-the-Art Stealth Technology
While conducting a polar bear survey, a young Berkeley engineering student decided that trying to find white bears against white snow was too difficult, so she had the ingenious idea of spotting them with infrared scanners. It's the same thing the military uses to track movements of enemy vehicles: The scanner detects the heat radiating from an object, so picking out a live animal should be a piece of cake in a frozen wasteland like the Arctic.
"You cannot see me. I am a hidebear."
Strangely, this only made the problem worse when they found that the bears were completely invisible to thermal imagery. The bears were seriously like mud-covered Schwarzeneggers to our Predator.
When scientists zoomed right in, they found that they could see parts of the bears' faces and their breath on the infrared imaging, but nothing else. It turned out that the polar bear's secret power was all of its extra blubber. Blubber is an amazing insulator (it actually becomes more efficient as the outside environment becomes colder), and on a polar bear, it's almost 4 inches thick and can weigh up to 1,500 pounds.
"Man, fuck you, I've been exercising!"
Because the bears evolved to insulate themselves against the frigid cold, they don't give off enough heat to register on our sensitive heat-sensing equipment. This means that they're the only animal that is invisible not only to the naked eye, but to robots as well.