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We are now in the eye of a great and terrible storm. Halloween's attendant boozing and candying has past us, and in the wake of Thanksgiving we have several weeks to ignore our families, that we might tolerate them for Christmas. In case you need help to pass the time, here's a list of mid-holiday activities to get you through to New Years.

1. Shop drunk. Like, disastrously, ruinously drunk. Fill a camelbak with 50/50 eggnog and vodka and saunter through the mall. Shout irrelevant questions at cashiers and try absolutely everything on.

2. Purchase a Santa Claus costume and challenge other Clausi to feats of strength and violence. Steal as many Salvation Army bells as you possibly can.

3. Fill water balloons with hot buttered rum and ambush your friends! The cool ones will appreciate it.

Adam Brown kicked this festive week off with 5 famous bands that are ashamed of key members. Soren Bowie keyed us into directors who should have quit after their first film while Brockway looked at luckiest near-death experiences caught on camera. Chris Bucholz refused to apologize for burning down a Wal-Mart and John Cheese explained which popular jokes incite public beatings. Luke McKinney wound us down with the great dick moves in online gaming history and Michael Swaim closed us out with a guide for what to avoid when making an indie movie.

5 Workplace Annoyances That Can Actually Boost Creativity
Everything you hate about the office makes you a better worker. Fuck.

Notable Comment: "I'm a super-creative person and I didn't realize until now it's because I'm poor, I don't have sex, I'm always tired, I'm surrounded by noise, and people are sarcastic to me all day long."

Anevilgenius is on the path to a masterpiece. Or crippling depression. It could go either way.

5 Awesome Vigilantes Who Solved Crimes Better Than the Cops
With so many wonderful crazy people, who needs police?

Notable Comment: "Seriously? Because he's a pedophile he MUST be a fan of MLP? That's like asking why Tracy V. is writing cracked columns instead of in the kitchen making sandwiches. I know cracked is supposed to be a comedy website but saying things like that is why fans of MLP are so disliked and some idiots take it seriously. Just like spreading the kitchen joke lost credibility for women gamers and women on the internet. It's all fun and games until too many people take it seriously."

Piruru, we don't believe that all men who enjoy My Little Pony are pedophiles. But we do believe that any grown-ass man who uses the title of that show enough to want to abbreviate it is kinda creepy.

7 Movie Plot Holes You Didn't Notice Due to Editing
Most movies work much better if you don't think too much about them.

Notable Comment: "Hey! There's an easy answer to why Bond took so long to get dressed in Die Another Day. He was masturbating."

That makes a lot of sense, NathanLoiselle. Mainly because Roger Moore is the only Bond we can imagine needing to masturbate.

6 Creepy Things You Never Noticed About Famous Kid's Cartoons
Most of these would have been less disturbing if they were just full of violence and cursing.

Notable Comment: "Did you watch the entirety of the Jem series *for* this article? (And, like, buy all the DVDs?) That's some real f'n dedication right there, if so."

The Jem series has been running on a continuous loop in our breakroom for the last four years, J21. It's what we have instead of an HR department.

5 Things Nobody Tells You About Living in Japan
Before you move off to the far east, give this article a read and see if maybe just ordering more Pocky and Death Note DVDs isn't a better option.

Notable Comment: "80-90 isn't really all that hot..."

TheOilMan, go somewhere humid, crowded and utterly lacking in central air conditioning. Then say that.

When Asking for a Woman's Hand in Marriage Goes Wrong
You don't get to call me Chuck!

13 Bizarre Secrets Behind Celebrity Careers
We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? This week, you can be by entering our latest contests, Rejected Scenes From The Hobbit (New LOTR Movie), Rejected Bossesfrom Famous Video Game Franchises, Real Ad Campaigns Revised For Accuracy and Most Unexpected REAL Quotes From Famous Figures
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