4 Your Mac Can Psychoanalyze You
While you've got your Mac Terminal open, there's something else we bet you didn't know it could do: A hidden feature allows your Mac to psychoanalyze you like a shrink.
To do this, open Terminal and hold Esc and X at the same time. This time, however, type "doctor" and a message will appear prompting you to "describe your problem." Type whatever is troubling you at the time (say, "I have a tendency to blindly follow orders from comedy websites"), and the program will reply with something a psychoanalyst might say.
via Mac OS X
"Buy two iPhone 5s and call me in the morning."
But there's more. If instead of "doctor" you type "yow," the program will spit back a series of inexplicable phrases that will make your brain melt, such as:
With YOU, I can BE MYSELF ... We don't need DAN RATHER!
I was making donuts and now I'm on a bus!
The LOGARITHM of an ISOSCELES TRIANGLE is TUESDAY WELD!
Look into my eyes and try to forget that you have a Macy's charge card!
...The TENSION mounts as I MASSAGE your RIGHT ANKLE according to ancient Tibetan ACCOUNTING PROCEDURES..are you NEUROTIC yet??
But if you really want your Mac to look like it was possessed by the ghost of Salvador Dali on meth, try typing "psychoanalyze-pinhead." Do this and an endless string of text will quickly scroll by your screen -- press Option and G to stop it and read the text. It looks like a conversation between a psychiatrist and a clearly disturbed person living inside your Mac.
via Mac OS X
"Someone take away Wozniak's crack pipe."
But don't worry, there's an explanation for this. The "doctor" command is actually an old program called ELIZA that simulates a real conversation (mostly by just repeating the same thing you said as a question). Meanwhile, the "yow" command is programmed to spout random quotes from the comic strip Zippy the Pinhead, known for its surrealist non sequiturs.
Finally, "psychoanalyze-pinhead" simply combines the two previous commands, feeding the Zippy quotes to the ELIZA program, which results in even more incomprehensible nonsense. If you don't have a Mac, you can replicate the same effect by going to Chatroulette and talking to a real crazy person.
3 Google's Crazy Interactive Results
Google is well-known for its elaborate April Fool's jokes (and terrifying policies), in which the company will announce some ridiculous new feature that anyone without a calendar or common sense will fall for. What you might not know is that this sense of humor also extends to Google's search engine itself, which has a bunch of hidden jokes triggered by specific words or phrases.
For example, odds are you've used Google search for what most human beings use it for: spell check. Yeah, we've all typed a word we weren't sure how to spell into Google and let the "Did you mean ..." part correct us. But if you're wondering if you spelled the word "anagram" right, Google won't help you out there -- instead, it offers you an actual anagram for "anagram."
Perhaps they're just trying to remind you that you haven't harassed your sheep lately.
Or if you type "recursion," which is the process of repeating something, then it suggests ... "recursion." Click on that and it'll show you the same thing over and over, in an infinite loop.
Which is hysterical, unless you're trying to find the actual meaning, in which case this is spectacularly unhelpful.
Google also has a calculator function, which comes in pretty handy when you type "answer to life, the universe, and everything," a reference to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. As in that book, the answer is given as ...
So long, and thanks for all the personal data.
For more festive results, you can try searching "Christmas" ...
Or "Hanukkah" ...
Or "Kwanzaa" ...
Or, yes, even "Festivus" (from Seinfeld), which displays the traditional Festivus Pole all over the side of the page.
To get rid of it, you have to pin Jerry Stiller.
Other searches are a little more interactive. Fans of aviation or (more likely) Star Fox 64 will be delighted to see what happens when you type "do a barrel roll" into Google.
Meanwhile, searching "askew" turns things on its side, effectively simulating the experience of searching on Google while drunk.
It even types the name of your ex in the address bar.