A spinoff doesn't necessarily have to be bad. On TV, both Frasier and The Jeffersons were spinoffs, and audiences went right along with that shit. If the audience loved the characters here, they'll love them over there. You'd think it would be even easier with video games -- hell, Mario is really just a spinoff of Donkey Kong. Yet the game industry has birthed some absolutely baffling spinoffs, taking the new games so far away from what made the originals great that they barely reside in the same solar system.
6The Typing of the Dead
The House of the Dead was an arcade light-gun shooter about killing zombies while waiting for the 3 o'clock showing of Wild Wild West to start at the mall. An endless army of corpses, monsters, and horrible dialogue attacks you as you weave your way through a blood-splattered mansion built by a mad scientist to house his ultimate creation, which turns out to be a naked claw monster you must defeat by firing bullets into its dick. There have been five or six sequels so far, all following the same basic premise of having the player endlessly pull a trigger into a violent gore explosion while occasionally scaring the shit out of them by suddenly throwing half-skinned jawbone maniacs into their faces.
"He's after our Visine!"
Some coke-nostriled developer decided that eviscerating the prowling legions of the undead would lend itself perfectly to an educational game, and came up with The Typing of the Dead, which regrettably is exactly what it sounds like.
This is how we picture every Internet argument.
Zombies attack you, and you have to successfully type phrases that appear onscreen before they juice your eyeballs with their teeth.
Seemingly in an effort to compound the freewheeling lunacy of the premise and thereby increase the horror quotient, the game has you type out everything from benign non sequiturs to bizarre instructions for handling gasoline while a hulking ragebeast tries to bore through your skullbone with a chainsaw. Your character doesn't even carry a handgun, opting instead to wear a baffling keyboard harness like a steampunk war correspondent, presumably to compose a sternly phrased letter to the zombies' supervisors.
"You'll be bussing tables at a Guy Fieri restaurant once this little grenade hits the comments box, Scabby Jeans."
A part of us thinks that this is the dumbest idea in video game history; another part thinks that maybe all education should be conducted this way.